to expect host to let her party guests know that she has a no shoes policy?

Well these events often have silent auctions, collections at various points, speeches talking about the cause- all of which you will miss if you leave early due to being uncomfortable.

Well fair enough! It would never occur to me to give less money because of this but each to their own!

Perhaps shoes off people should install one of those Chlorinated foot baths they used to have before going into swimming pools! That means they could save lots of money from buying those lovely unopened mens socks! They could buy a carpet cleaner with the savings it's a win win situation 😂

Well I’d be gutted if I went to a party ready to donate money to a good cause and I was made to feel awkward and uncomfortable by an insane rule about shoes.

And the host most likely made less money for the good cause because of this.

I don't want strangers taking their shoes off in my house. I don't want to see their feet.

I'd be gutted if I went to the effort to organise a big fundraising event in my house (with all the time, effort and risks this involves, things getting broken, stained etc) to help another family and there was a woman bitching about me on the internet.

I agree. It's really very inhospitable to hold a party and make people remove an essential part of their outfit. You will be cleaning the floors afterwards anyway, FFS. To do it without warning is even worse. I would have gone home - fuck that nonsense.

YABU O.P. To have a formal party at your house and expect people to take their shoes off is ridiculous imo, if you care that much about your floors have a party in local hall or something, I've been bought up with parents having parties and couple of rooms had wooden floors but never had a shoes off policy, I would respect someone who had a shoes off rule generally but I don't know many that do. Wouldn't have hurt to put on invite, as op and a few on here have said lots plan outfits based on shoes (was it carpets or wooden floors she was worried about? Someone could hsve slipped on wooden floor🤔)

I’m with you. I also have feet I would feel terribly uncomfortable having to expose. A really bad deformed fungal/damaged big toe nail and bunions. I wouldn’t like the assumption that everyone is comfortable getting their feet out, it’s inconsiderate.

@OP, what did the other guests at the party think? Did anyone actually discuss the naked feet situation or was it an huge elephant in the room?

Shoes off people are weird and I would have left.

It's fine to ask guests to take shoes off, but not for a formal party. Nope. Shoes undermines the entire formality of a "posh" event. Weird.

For a formal fundraising event it's incredibly rude and uncivilised, I would've turned around and left.

What - even if there was a fresh pack of men's socks available?

I'm another one who's never been asked to take my shoes off for a party, and rarely in other people's houses in general - I don't ask people to take their shoes off when they come to mine either. Each to their own, but it certainly isn't unusual not to require it, in my experience.

In fact, when I'm working from home I usually put proper shoes on myself, because it helps me transition from "home" to "work". Never suffered any ill effects as a result!

I'd imagine most people going to a party would arrive in a car, or not have walked far, as usually party type shoes aren't comfortable for walking a long way. (I walked back to SIL house a mile and a half from a wedding and ended up walking barefoot for at least half the way!!)
..so the shoes won't have tramped through a bog or trodden over 10 cow pats, they'll have literally walked a few min over a pavement or path in most cases. Outside of parties, I'm sure people would generally remove shoes if they were clearly muddy, wet or dirty to enter their own or a friends house whether they had a shoe-on or shoe-off house.

I have a friend who hosts formal events and does not make her guests take off their shoes - however, day to day, she and her family and friends do take their shoes off. So I wouldn't necessarily have expected to take shoes off for a formal event. YANBU.

I have never been asked to take my shoes off in somebody else’s house, except in Asia. We always change outdoor shoes coming in at home but that’s because we live in the country and are generally coming in from muddy fields. Very different to party shoes which have walked a very short distance and on gravel or a road.

The norm???

I’ve never in my(long) life been at a party where people were asked to remove their shoes…ever! I’ve been fortunate to be invited to some very upmarket bashes and this would be considered VERY unacceptable.

This whole problem arises from the fact the British use carpets which is a gross concept and forces them to do weird antisocial stuff like demand guests at a posh party remove their shoes so they don't dirty the filth trap floors. If they just had normal floors that could be easily cleaned they wouldn't have this issue

😂

I would need a warning as I get very cold feet and would need to have brought my slip on warm ballet pink type slippers. I have one relative where I always take these with me as her house is always really cold.

I also wonder if there would be any negotiation for someone who has specially made medical shoes and who can’t walk properly without those on. And who can’t physically get them off unless she has a seat and someone to help.

But, I always assume when I go to someone’s home that I’ll be expected to take my shoes off. I’d expect it if people came to my home as I wouldn’t want my carpets being trampled over with dirty outdoor shoes.

Even if you'd been invited to a Posh Party? Would you dress accordingly i.e an outfit that looked good with no shoes? I think that's really odd.

I need to sit down to take my shoes off, so if anyone expected me to hover on one leg in the doorway I'd have to either leave or they'd have to let me walk inside and sit down somewhere.

It wasn't 'posh' OP - nobody upper class or even upper middle would dream of making their guests feel uncomfortable by demanding this!

In fact, most really posh people don't give a stuff about their floors and would happily trail in a load of mud and labradors......😁

We (not posh!) tend to leave shoes by the door unless it's bone dry everywhere - but I would never ask guests to unless they are close friends just popping by (and then they just would). For any more formal visit I would absolutely expect people to keep their shoes on - and certainly for a big fancy dress up event of any sort. I'm sorry your evening was ruined!