to expect host to let her party guests know that she has a no shoes policy?

It's rude to tell guests to remove shoes.

First rule of good manners is that you make other people feel comfortable.

In the summer people often wear no socks

You would rather dog shit shoes than human feet? I also wear socks 90% of the time so not even bare feet.

I wouldn't want someone's horrible bare feet in my house, they could have athletes foot or worse.

It used to be extremely bad manners to remove your shoes in other people's houses. My mum had a shoeless house and I remember as a teenager walking into a conversation where I was being referred to as The Shoeless Contessa by a friend's parents.

But it's clearly not no question because many of us are saying we're not shoes off 😃

I cannot stress this enough - come to my house and get your feet out and I WILL instruct you to put your shoes back on immediately 😂

You could be walking barefoot on someone's floor where their smelly hound had been walking or scotched their arse along the floor

This may be true. However numerous studies have shown that the average mobile phone harbours many more germs than the average loo. Unless babies are eating off the floor, this comparison quells my worries

I agree that it’s a bit rude for a formal party, but I always choose my outfit for someone else’s house based on the expectation that it might be shoes off. That generally means trousers or a jumpsuit and nice trainers. That puts an upper limit on how formal you can go (although less so in the last couple of years) but I don’t move in circles that host formal events at home. And actually I’d say it’s a good principle of etiquette that if you specify a dress code which needs your guests to dress up, you can’t then ask them to undress again. Even if only their feet.

But where do all these shoes go, there could be 30 pairs or even more

I don't wear shoes in my house but would never ask someone to remove theirs. I wouldn't really expect to be asked to remove mine either. If my trainers or shoes were filthy for some unexpected reason I'd insist on leaving them outside on the doorstep at someone else's house.

I hate the expectation that I'm supposed to just have cold feet all evening (or wear those shitty hotel slippers that don't fit and don't keep your feet warm).
I want to wear shoes that insulate my feet from the floor! Even carpets are draughty at floor level.

Shoes defo off when you're going to someone's house. No question. However, hosting a formal party where people are expected to wear a suit then it is shoes on.

It's a tricky one.
I understand your annoyance at not knowing beforehand, but when going to someone's house I also always consider how my outfit will look without shoes as many folk don't like shoes to be worn indoors.

So she has a house full of people with bare sweaty feet?! Sounds like a lovely evening! Shoes would be preferable to that surely.

I am shoes on, always have been although have slippers at home. I only know one person who is shoes off at home and she is a clean freak who grabs your cup to wash it the second you finish, even part way through a conversation. Although she is lovely I never feel relaxed or welcome there.

Thank god I don't know you I'd combust if you just took your shoes off without asking if its ok to get your flippers out in my home 🤢 🤣

I do feel for you in being uncomfortable with no shoes in your outfit. But I don't think it necessarily follows the host was unreasonable not to mention it beforehand. This is often the case at a party in someone's home so I don't think an explicit warning was necessary.

Also she was raising money for charity on her own time. I am guessing she is not a professional party planner so I would cur her some slack in any case.

Nope merely said about my setup so I obviously hadn't thought why people would need to be in and out of a house at a bbq

Very bad manners. A good host does not expect guests to remove shoes. Never been asked, fortunately my friends have good manners.

I would have assumed it was shoes off given that it was in someone’s house. I have never gone into anyone’s house without taking my shoes off.

That's against the law if they are working, so I rarely do this as I don't know you, but I call BS.
No workman is going to remove his safety boots while working, they do generally use plastic slip on covers if asked and it's safe to do so. An example of not safe to do so, would be using a ladder or step.

They are the proper length if she wants to wear them with heels. I have trousers that are the right length for flats/trainers (generally these are ones I've taken up myself, as I'm quite short), and wide legged trousers that are the right length to wear with heeled boots, but would drag on the floor in flats.

Ooooh class has been brought in 🤣💥💣

Doubtful the host was truly posh, or truly wealthy/cash rich. Proper poshies IME (been in more vair wealthy households than ive had hot dinners) would never dream of asking guests to take their shoes off when they just get the carpet cleaned when needed.

Ok seems to be just me who takes her shoes off at the door, mind you I also have been known to take formal shoes off at parties in venues , much prefer bare feet!

Yep I agree with this.