to expect host to let her party guests know that she has a no shoes policy?

I had a friend with the smelliest feet as a teenager. They were stomach turningly awful. I would never insist people take off their shoes in my home because I don't want awful cheesy feet on my rugs! I'd much rather clean mud off as needed.

YANBU.

I feel much more uncomfortable in party type shoes than I do barefoot.

This doesn’t exempt your mobile from the results of these studies, I’m afraid. The point is that we all pick up so many germs everywhere (which we deposit on our phones and computers) that unless someone is eating off the floor random small bits that may be brought into our houses on our shoes are the least of our worries.

Anyone really worried about germs should start by thoroughly disinfecting their phone and keyboard daily. Then worry about people’s shoes if you must. Personally I wash my hands and wipe my shoes when I come inside as well as observing the usual practices, then leave it. I can’t be bothered to go shoeless except out of respect for certain friends or when getting very comfortable

Id have assumed no shoes but she still should have mentioned it.

It’s different at a ‘posh party’ as others have said - ridiculous standing around in stocking feet in a posh outfit.

If you can’t be a good host don’t have a ‘posh party’. Such bad manners to stand over people at the doorstep demanding shoes off. If that is her vibe she should have hosted a coffee morning and not a formal party.

I don’t wear shoes at home but have wooden floors and a dog so I suggest people keep shoes on! I offer to take them off at others houses but all my friends have wooden floors and insist shoes are kept on. Especially at parties - doors to the garden are open, people wandering in and out, glasses dropped and broken..

Has anyone claimed that? Most workmen, in fact all, I have had here simply put shoe covers on.

There is a bit of difference between having a couple of friends and family round and having a large formal party or any sort of party where lots of people are going to be in and out of the garden.

Do all PPs who claim they make any trades-person remove their PPE (protective boots/shoes) before working in their house also fully indemnify in case they drop something on their toes?

You can't host a formal party and expect people to take their shoes off! And that comes from a firm no shoes householder!

I always offer to take them off when going into other people's homes, that's just polite. I'd have assumed that as it was at a house I may be expected to take my shoes off and would have chosen my outfit accordingly. However as you rarely socialise I can see why it hadn't crossed your mind.
Neither of you are in the wrong.

When people come to my house and don't remove their shoes I offer slippers (the type that hotels have) and they soon get the hint. I hate shoes in the house.

God I hate this. I have a no shoes household …for my family. I absolutely don’t ask guests to take off shoes. I have wooden floors in the most “public areas” but I often use my bed as the coat drop as it is on the main floor. It’s carpeted and guests walk on the carpet. And every posh outfit I own is so intentionally coordinated with shoes. So men in suits or tuxes…no shoes? Men in nice sweater or pants no shoes? How silly. Women in dresses or fancy pants and barefoot? Ridiculous. No way would I stand around with other posh dressed guests at a fund raiser shoeless…straight back out the door with my “donation” still in my silly little evening purse. And policing the door…another level of rudeness

@TheFlis YES!!! The British BBQ thing... wtaf..?! Take your shoes off but our houses have gardens out the back where we are going so once you've walked across the hallowed ground of our freezing tiles/ wood/ fake wood you may then put your shoes back on. Wait!! Take them off when you go back in to the bathroom! Wait! Put them back on because it's absolutely Baltic weather outside but we're pretending it's fit for a BBQ 😂😂😂

I am a shoes off person . Always take them off at home and when visiting anywhere but then I'd say that's the 'norm' for my friends and family.

I don't feel really strongly about it but in terms of etiquette I think I'd expect someone coming to mine to go to take their shoes off, at which point I'd tell them they can keep them on if they like. I don't really mind if they keep them on but I do think it's a bit rude to just assume it's OK.

I think this scenario is different though. A formal party with loads of visitors I'd expect to keep them on.

We don't have many parties and our house is anything but grand, but when we do it tends to be in summer and a BBQ when people are walking in and out the house to chat, grab food, go to the loo etc. I can't imagine expecting people to put shoes on and off multiple times in this scenario...do people really do that?!

And yet, somehow, we are still alive.

Haha! Yes, of course I would walk on carpet in shoes. The carpet will be fine.

The alternative is everyone's sweaty toes all over the place. Yuck.

When did this become a thing in the UK..?! I was here in the 90s and no one did it...
I've lived the rest of my life in tropical countries and everyone takes their shoes off BUT a) it's really fucking hot and your feet don't get cold and b) no one would expect you to take fancy shoes off if you were coming for a fancy do.

To take your shoes off in this country is wild- it's freezing in the majority of homes and my feet are staying swaddled in their 2 pairs of socks and shoes thanks!

In our house we do shoes on downstairs and shoes off upstairs (similar to our previous country of residence where you'd keep them on in 'shared' areas and remove for your bedroom and bathroom areas.) We had to clean the floors every day thanks to the environment around us, so that was also a thing.

TLDR: it's too cold in the UK for this to be a thing- or go full shoes off if you want but provide me with proper lovely warm slippers when I come to your homes please 😬

Bridesmaids and the bride often get ready at home.
Imagine the photographer waiting outside the front door or on the drive, while they emerge one by one, holding on to the wall, swathes of fabric falling over them, while they fuss about with fancy shoes.

Or, maybe they put their shoes on in the house and walk outside.

What about wakes in people's home.
"Sorry for your loss, that was a beautiful service"
"Thank you. Please put your shoes in the box over there and then get a drink"

Or a doctor making a house call, the midwife, a paramedic.
"STOP, take your shoes off".

Ok, but no one uses my mobile, nor do i use the others. However, most that wear shoes will walk on a pavement where dog mess has been and or cat/fox mess that has been stepped in by others and the rain thins it out

Shoes indoors is disgusting

I think it's rude to assume you could keep outdoor shoes on in someone's home!

Always assume shoes off in someone else’s home

Hmm. Not that posh if you are demanding people take shoes off at a formal event. Shows that someone is aping their betters.

Even my grandma when she was half blind and had reduced mobility had slippers with hard soles. I might be the weirdo but genuinely nobody wears outdoor shoes inside (outside of formal gathering but ecen then it's dress shoes you usually do t wear around town). Maybe one day I'll be invited to a shoe on household and will see the error of my ways and the superiority 😅

My fancy party shoes are rarely worn, don't get worn in places at significant risk of animal shit and dirt (normally my own driveway and the drive/ car park at the destination) and are therefore probably in a more hygienic condition than my feet which sweat easily.

I also have the short-arse problem of trousers/skirts being too long, and combined with awkward feet have never found a pair of wearable, attractive and comfortable smart, flat shoes, so my formal clothes fit on the assumption that I'm wearing a couple of inches of heels.

Being unable to wear any kind of slip-on also means annoying faffing around at ground level with fiddly little ankle buckles which does not make for a welcoming entrance.

Not in someone’s house it isn’t. Again, what if they have carpet? You’re going to walk all over their carpet with your shoes on?