to expect host to let her party guests know that she has a no shoes policy?

Fascinated by this thread - I’ve always been told to remove shoes before going into someone’s house and by default have done this since childhood. I didn’t even know it was a debate….i have silently judged people who don’t take their shoes off in my house and thought it was bad manners, although have never told anyone who left their shoes on to remove them. Never realised it wasn’t something everyone was told as a child

My house is shoes-off most of the time. Exceptions are tradesmen who have to wear shoes for health & safety reasons and people just stopping by in the kitchen (flooring reasons).

However, if I was having a house party with people in formal wear, I would not expect people to remove their shoes. If I was so worried about that, I'd hire a venue instead.

I find it far more bizarre that some do!

How could you just roll your trousers up if they're a lightweight fabric?

I don't know why you think the OP should have been "better prepared" if it's not the norm for her?

I think it's freakish tbh. Floors can be cleaned!!

Have never been to a party where guests were asked to remove their shoes.

I say that as a person who grew up in a culture where it’s strictly shoes off (I’d never seen shoes on until I was a teen!).
Day to day guests are shoes off, but even my parents wouldn’t have a party and say shoes off. Smaller events we have washable slippers in a basket

If it was a house, then shoes off- I find it bizarre in the UK people dont take them off in their own homes or even owrse someone else's.

I’ve never been to a house party where you do take your shoes off. My house isn’t a shoes off house either so I guess it’s not the norm. Clearly there are two camps though.

I'm old and I have literally never in my life encountered a 'shoes off' house. I think it's really rude. I'd much rather have people wear their shoes than a tonne of sweaty kebs grossing me out!!

This would be my hill to die on.

I hate, hate, HATE being made to take my shoes off in other people's homes. In fact, I only know 2 households that enforce it and I tend to style it out as they have threadbare carpets which are foul and would rather wear socks & shoes thanks.

Now, obviously, if I am wearing muddy shoes / wellies, I will of course remove them but if I have trainers on and they have a door mat then why should I?

It's treating adults like 2 year olds.

Yes, they absolutely should have told you. I do have a 'posh' friend who regularly has drinks parties and she asks in the invitation that 'no stilettos to be worn' as she has antique parquet flooring.

Genuinely never encountered this batshit removal of shoes palava for adults until I moved down south in my mid 20s. I hate it and it actually shows a disrespect to your guests.

Yep I wouid have wanted to be told

Who goes to a formal event and walks about with their trousers rolled up ? 😂

I’m a pretty strict shoes off household but I make an exception for parties and just deal with a bit more clean up and a few protective measures. It’s just awkward

YABU

I don’t mind people wearing their shoes in my home but I know that some people don’t like it and so I am always prepared to take my shoes off when visiting someone else (I’ll take socks in my bag if I’m not wearing any).

You are making this a way bigger deal than it is.
I’m sure you could have just rolled your trousers up or something.

It would have been very weird for her to have put it on the invitation and it was on you to be better prepared.

No I don't know anyone who has dogs. And why would people be going in and out of the house during a BBQ.

I find this bemusing, where do you think people go to the loo when at a bbq?of course they go in the house. And dogs are very common. You must know people have them as pets?

Yes, I'd make an exception for houses where it's a definite cultural tradition

One of my biggest pet peeves, OP - shoes off in the house people. Why bother dressing up? I find it weird but some don't.

It’s so rude of the party hostess. I’m shocked she would even ask.

Ugh I would have been livid! I can’t bear the no shoes rule anyway, it’s so rude to ask this of guests, and it absolutely is relevant to parties where attire is more formal and heels are worn. I would be fuming.

Or, it's cultural.

I can't think of a single one of my friends who expect guests to take their shoes off. As another poster said upthread, expecting people to take shoes off implies that the floors or carpets are more important to the host than the guests' comfort. It's rude. Also you better hope that nobody has athlete's foot or similar, because a crowd of people padding around barefoot or in socks is a great way to spread fungal infections around.

I could be wrong, but to me if you have to take your shoes off, it's not a formal party.

So you expect someone to send out an invitation with a ps. We expect you to take your shoes off in our house so please dress accordingly. Really?

(Cultural heritage excepted)

I am fine honouring cultural traditions. Particularly when my hosts are going to feed me delicious food!

I would be interested to know how the Shoeless Household arose in the UK within the fairly recent past, those who practise it for cultural reasons excepted? It isn’t a thing with my friends or family