to expect host to let her party guests know that she has a no shoes policy?

Shoes off here and our visitors always assume the same.

Well I would assume shoes are off when I go to someone’s house. Especially people with children. Why would you expect this to be on the invitation, it isn’t something extraordinary? Im surprised at some of the responses, I've never been to a shoes on house party and I live on London...There might be a generational or geography divide here, it is certainly the done thing over here.

I would expect shoes off. Don' t like tracking dirt into someone's house and vice versa. I would ask a guest to take their shoes off though.

This is utterly bizarre, there is no way I would have removed my shoes. Why do people have such a problem with shoes, you have probably only walked from the car/taxi to the front door. I have never, ever been asked to remove my shoes and I never will.

Not convinced that it was a ‘posh’ party either as posh people don’t have carpet in most of the ground floor so where is the problem? I also think there is a class divide in this issue.

Hate that
No way am i wearing someone else's slippers

Actually getting hives at the thought someone might just take their shoes off and waltz in without checking its ok 😩

I'm pouring myself a gin to settle my nerves.

Yeah, if it was in her home I would have assumed it was shoes off. So it depends.

I agree with this! As for you should respect their floors - what the hell? How about respecting your guests? A good host puts guests' comfort & convenience first, certainly ahead of her floor maintenance.

Maybe they should have provided a servant at the entrance, armed with a bumper pack of Flash wipes to clean the soles of everyone's shoes on arrival. Or covered their precious floors. Or invited guests to come in their pyjamas, bringing slippers!

I'm curious as to what you shoeless people think "dressing up" shoes are for? If you only wear them in the car and from pavement to doorway, who gets to appreciate them?

Did you not realise the party was at their house?

Otherwise, it's basic good manners to remove your shoes so you don't track mud, dirt, traces of urine and faeces and spit and all the other crap that's on the pavement into their flat/house.

I mean that should be automatic when you step inside, they shouldn't even have to ask, it's a basic signal of respect for your host and their home.

People on here can be so slovenly and ill-mannered sometimes.

I'm shoes off in general, but at a fancier/bigger party they can stay on and we'll do a really thorough mop and carpet clean the next day

I can't imagine going into someone's house and expecting to keep my outdoor shoes on, that's rude. I take my shoes off going into someone's house unless they explicitly say not to, I don't imagine they want whatever I've trodden on outside walked through the house, even if it is just germs and microscopic dirt.

I literally don't know anyone who has a no shoes policy. So I'd also probably go home and if I'd known prior then I wouldn't have attended at all. When you've dressed up for a formal evening you don't want to be standing about in bare feet or slippers.

It's different if you go to a friends and they have a no shoes policy (not that I know anyone who has one) as you'd then have your socks on or your casual clothes and bare feet wouldn't matter.

Sounds hideous! 😱
Poor hosting, bad manners and fucking rude.

That was definitely not a posh party, OP.

Two exceptions

1. Places like my mother's house - you'd need to wear full steel toecaps for protection and hose them down afterwards.
2. My mate's house/when he visits here - he's diabetic and has neuropathy, so has to wear shoes at all times.

Otherwise, I'd always think it was a possibility. And, tbh, the prospect of standing around in heels fills me with horror anyhow, so I'd be far more comfortable if I could take shoes off and not have to concern myself with other people's opinions on class/appearances or have somebody stomp on my foot.

I would be nervous if I arrived at someone's home to find polythene on the floor, I would be looking round expecting some sort of heist at any moment!

we are a shoes off household, but sometimes the event means shoes need to be left on. We hosted my mum’s wake and it would have been ridiculous imo for guests to be wearing their funeral suit with socks.

Where I live getting it cleaned is very expensive wipes are cheaper. 😊

Shoes off for family and visiting children is fine IMO, but beyond rude to expect adult guests at a dressy party to remove their shoes. It should definitely have been flagged beforehand. I have no issue taking my shoes off if I am visiting a house where that is the norm, but if you are attending a party I think it is normal to expect not to have to pad around in your socks for the evening.

Those blue overshoes can make shoes and boots slippery, making them a massive risk to tradespeople. If they feel happy and safe using them they'll likely carry overshoes with them already, so just ask them to put them on but don't be surprised if they refuse.

I'd never ask people to take off their shoes for a party. If I was worried about my floors, I'd host it somewhere else. However, I also would not think about people needing their shoes on to make outfits "work". Maybe because I'm tall but it would never occur to me.

We take shoes off but for a party? That’s odd in my view. Shoes are a definite part of an outfit. If the host was that bothered they should take steps to protect carpet/ tiles/ whatever worries them instead.

Tbf MN shoe threads are good for this sort of thing. Now you know its likely not that people are being rude, it's just shoes off by default has never been a thing in their lives. Never taught this as a child, I've never taught my kids, it's just not a thing IME.

Just ask people. They might judge you a little but that's no worse than you judging them!

It's such a pity that we are not a shoes-off country in general as in many others, so everyone would just do it as a matter of course, would dress accordingly, and hosts would have baskets of indoor slippers at the front door.

It's a bit mad to host a party and expect everyone to take their shoes off, but I think you need to work on not being so bothered by your height. Being short doesn't make you like a 5 year old