AIBU to cancel on a friend's wedding after accepting the invitation

Fine to cancel but send a present.
Don't ever accept anything again without checking properly that you can make it not just that you'd like to.

Why didn't you check all this before accepting?

Yes. This.

Absolutely fine to cancel. I’d just keep it brief (sorry to say I’m now unable to attend) rather than go into a great long explanation of the hurdles and costs.

Canceling is fine in this case. There's no meal organised and that's the main faff with late cancellations, imo.

You describe her as someone you're on good terms with. Don't you have more of a friendship than that else why did she invite you?

Evening invite I wouldn’t bother with all that faff.

You knew all the other factors when you accepted so don't mention those but the tube strike is a new obstacle so message her as soon as possible and let her know the tube strike means you can't get there.

Jay send a message saying that unfortunately the journey already long is further complicated by the announced tub strike so you won't be able to get there. Wish then all the best for the future

YANBU unreasonable, just cancel. It would be different if you had been invited to the main wedding, in which case they may have already paid out for a meal for you, but it's not an issue as an evening guest.

I’m not a fan for travelling for night dos, if it was in DHs home town and staying at his parents that’s fine, and we’d make it a visit to them as well.
I remember DH going to a colleagues one the other side of the country, but they car pooled and stayed somewhere cheap and made a weekend of it.
In your circumstances, not worth the money.

Evening guest is far less a grief than day. I would explain transport issues

Just let her know ASAP she can probably say to whoever is catering in case its rolls or whatever at night, just make an excuse and apologise and send them a card.

If you don't want to go, don't, but other than the tube strikes you surely must've known the rest before accepting so yab a bit u for not just declining from the outset. Its minor though, you shouldn't force yourself to go to an social engagement you don't want to attend, just tell her now she she has time to invite someone else in your place

I got married recently and some of the evening guests didn't even bother replying - if you cancel with notice that's fine. People always under cater in the evening anyway to accommodate drop outs. Just email her and say I can't come now but thanks for the invite.

" Hi Jane, just to let you know that due to unforeseen circumstances I now can't make it to the evening part of your wedding. I hope you all have a fabulous day, and looking forward to meeting up with you at a later date to hear all about it. Love xx"

Send this with a gift. I wouldn't go either, and as others have said the evening part is not as guest critical as the full reception.

I was in the exact same situation a few years ago. The bride was an old friend from university who by that point and for various reasons I'd not seen for at least seven years (and had never met her fiance.) I felt guilty about all of this so stupidly accepted the invitation even though it was a) a three hour train ride, b) plus a half hour taxi ride from hotel as was in the middle of nowhere, c) hotel and wedding gift etc. I had no plus one and when I turned up found I knew nobody at the reception. It was very awkward and I felt really stupid spending all that money. I haven't seen or heard from the bride since. Do not feel guilty about not going.

It depends on if you can afford it and if you think the cost is worth it in the context of your income/ other outgoings.

If you have the means I'd probably try to go and stay over and maybe ask the bride if any of your uni friends are going because you're looking into accommodation.

If not and it's too expensive then I'd let her know that you can't afford it and transport is proving impossible. And let her know ASAP.

Personaly id decline and I'd offer to do something lovely with her at another point and send a gift.

Don't go, it doesn't sound like it'll be amazing, it'll be expensive and it's evening only. Life's too short!

Cancel but do it asap

Yes its OK to cancel. Just do it quickly.

You are making this into a much bigger deal then it needs to be, please don't worry!

Evening guests are relatively cheap in terms of wedding expenses. If you cba to go (and i don't blame you!!) Just let them know- they can either invite someone else or not include you in final numbers.

In the nicest way possible- its not like you are the MOH, I'm sure they will be disappointed you aren't there but it won't ruin the day.

Or go and have a nice time! Especially if you could share a lift/a room with someone to lower the costs.

It's an evening do so unlikely you'll have been specifically catered for; I would cancel now with apologies; explaining the transport issues, so your friend has time to invite someone else.

Personally I'd go as I love a wedding / night away and it will mean a lot to your friend. It does partly depend on whether you can easily afford the cost though.

You have an excuse...train strikes. It be impossible to get there so phone and apologize