Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to consider putting dog down?

110 replies

ConfusedDogMum · 15/04/2024 12:57

Our dog has an undiagnosable condition affecting her side which is creating sores and pushing small lumps of (apparently deep) tissue to the surface.

She scratches and licks at the area constantly. She’s had mutiple specialist vet visits, scans, lab testing etc plus two very big operations removing large amounts of dead tissue with no answer as to what is causing it. Obviously the area gets infected and antibiotics have cleared it up temporarily but it keeps returning, after a few months at best. She is healthy in every other way but she absolutely hates going to the vets.

The last time we took her to the vets they were pushing to do another very expensive operation but obviously could give us no reassurance it would help. We don’t have insurance unfortunately as we felt we could afford anything she would have needed at this stage (she’s now only 8) but were clearly naive about what might happen and what it might cost (£11k plus and counting so far!). We pushed back and they gave us a longer prescription for the antibiotics to also cover the next time it returned instead. Of course now it’s come back and the antibiotics aren’t helping. She’s still very active wanting to go on walks etc and no other signs of physical problems but she has started seeking out quieter, more comfortable spots (sofa, all our beds!) which is becoming problematic as the sores are weeping and she’s very smelly and she growls at us and snaps when we try to move her. She’s clearly unhappy and we’ve tried a cone but she still bashes at her side with it and uses her back leg to scratch so it doesn’t really help (it’s definitely an underlying condition and she isn’t causing the problem).

We will have to return to the vet soon as we are nearly out of antibiotics and they don’t seem to be working…. And I’m at a complete loss as to what to do… they’ll push again for another scan and operation at great cost (c£5k minimum - money we don’t have) but the alternative seems so unfair, cruel and irresponsible on our part to have an animal and then not do everything to cure her…. Are we even able to have her put down if the vet is saying they believe (wrongly in my opinion) they could still try to help? Is anyone on here a vet that has any ideas what this is or other dog owner who has experience this?

It would be absolutely awful to have to have her put down (we have young children who also love her very much and we’ve had her since she was a puppy) but we cannot afford to keep spending such vast sums on money on things that do not help her. It’s become a really stressful situation even just managing where she can be in the house, whether the dog walker will still take her etc. I just don’t know what to do anymore and my husband is burying his head in the sand about it.

Any insight or advice greatly appreciated and thank you for reading so far!! X

OP posts:
Cazpar · 15/04/2024 13:15

8 years old is not an awful age for a dog. She sounds like she's in pain or at least discomfort (dogs do not show pain in the way we do, but the fact she is seeking out quieter spots and snapping tells me she is uncomfortable).

If the vets do not know what to do next, she is not improving, and she has already been through many treatments, I would say it is best that she is put to sleep. I'm so sorry. I had to make a similar decision for one of mine some years ago and it is so hard, but the final thing we can do for them is to give them a painless and peaceful passing.

QuestionableMouse · 15/04/2024 13:14

I absolutely would not keep putting a dog through ops when they're not helping. Euthanasia is the kindest thing to do.

DisappearingGirl · 15/04/2024 13:12

I think putting her to sleep sounds a kind option. She has had 8 good years and it sounds like she is struggling.

I do think vets can tend to over treat as well. We have guinea pigs, the vets we use are really lovely and are experienced in small animals. However on three occasions now I have felt the animal is suffering and has reached the end of its life, and I've been surprised that the vet has suggested additional invasive experimental treatment rather than suggesting putting to sleep. I've had to be the one to suggest maybe it's time to PTS, and the vet has then said yes perhaps that's best.

takemeawayagain · 15/04/2024 13:09

That sounds really horrible for her. I don't think it would be wrong to put her down.

TayIor · 15/04/2024 13:09

This breaks my heart 💔 this is what insurance is for but I am sure you already know that. In your situation it would completely destroy me but I'd have to think of the dogs best interests, and if she's snapping she's in pain which is so unfair.

Crazeland · 15/04/2024 13:07

I agree with you. Quality of life is the important issue

MrsSkylerWhite · 15/04/2024 13:07

I agree, it’s sounds like a kindness. That’s no way for her to live.
sorry 💐

Youdontknowmedoyou · 15/04/2024 13:06

Reading your post you're considering doing the best for her. If the vets could guarantee that an op would fix the problem then that would be different.
I'm so sorry that you are facing this and wish you all the best. 💐

Catza · 15/04/2024 13:05

It's a tough situation and I have no advice from the professional standpoint. But I went through a similar mysterious illness with my cat 10 years ago. He suddenly became very poorly, difficulties with eating, peeing himself, shortness of breath. We did all the routine scans and a couple of overnight stays at the vets when critical. They found nothing and the next step was take him in for an extremely expensive exploratory surgery. The issue was that he would have periods of time when he would feel well (with a lot of care at home) and taking him to the vets would stress him out so much that he would have a relapse after every visit. On that basis, we decided to let him be. He lived happily with us for 6 more months before passing away unexpectedly one day. Later, we were contacted by the lady who had a cat from the same litter who let us know that her cat had a genetic lung condition which is incurable (she went quite further ahead with the testing at a great expense) so it seems we have done the right thing at the end to let him run out of his cat lives with us.

Laiste · 15/04/2024 13:04

Well - i'll be brave and say you would probably be doing her a kindness to put her down Flowers

We all have to die.
I believe we're the unluckier animals as we're the only ones with a real concept of life span. Animals have no idea about it. The best thing we can do for our pets is give them a good life and a good, and timely, death.

Swipe left for the next trending thread