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Original poster

To be annoyed he cancelled and lied.

145 replies

namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 12:50

Had a date planned with a guy from online dating.

Day comes and I ask him what time as we hadn't set that. He tells me he had to go away and it was impromptu, apologised and we can reschedule when he's back.

I decided to check his online profile. This particular dating site tells you what area user was in when he was last online.

His showed he was in Belgium. Flitting between 2 different towns over there.
We messaged back and forth and his location was still showing Belgium.

Monday comes and he asks how my weekend was and I ask him where he went off to. He tells me he had to go to the Lakes for a couple of days. Blatant lie. Not a stalker but I did keep checking the location as something seems a bit off. If he had to go away could he not have told me this a day or 2 before?

OP posts:
NamelessNancy · 16/04/2024 07:38

I think it's weird that the app shows you location anyway. I know it's not a pinpoint locator but still, I think that's a bit off. If I was on a site like that I'd consider using a VPN for that reason alone.

beAsensible1 · 16/04/2024 07:36

Just move on. You’re being obsessive and stalkery and he’s being flaky. Neither of you like each other enough

icelollycraving · 16/04/2024 07:31

Yabu. The dates probably didn’t go as well for him as you, you’re on the back burner. You do sound a bit stalkery.
I would just not bother chasing this one op.

Desmodici · 16/04/2024 07:31

Never mind that he might've lied about his location (although I do agree with others that you can't rely on the internet to show where he is - my Facebook often shows my phone as logged in hundreds of miles away), the fact that he can't keep you abreast when he knows in advance that he can't make a date that you've arranged shows a complete disregard for your time. He's either incapable of considering others, or you're just not that important.
Let this one go.

2Old2Tango · 16/04/2024 07:25

He's probably seeing other people too and got a better offer. I too think you're weird for tracking him. Too early on to be getting so invested.

kurotora · 16/04/2024 07:22

I kinda sympathise OP, as someone who can get too emotionally invested in…everything. But he’s done you a favour really, don’t waste any more time on him if he keeps being flakey and cancelling. The VPN thing could be right but it’s immaterial.

The right guy will be just as enthusiastic as you are, don’t settle for less.

78Summer · 16/04/2024 07:20

If he cancelled last minute I am afraid he is not interested. He has done you a favour in showing you who he is relatively early on.

Orophile · 16/04/2024 07:17

If he uses a VPN it will obscure his location.

Kazzybingbong · 16/04/2024 07:15

Baby Reindeer

ZekeZeke · 16/04/2024 07:13

EpicAlice · 16/04/2024 07:10

I hope he runs.
If you are tracking him like this after just 3 dates…
do you seriously not see this is quite disturbing behaviour?

This

EpicAlice · 16/04/2024 07:10

I hope he runs.
If you are tracking him like this after just 3 dates…
do you seriously not see this is quite disturbing behaviour?

Greyat · 16/04/2024 07:01

I think it's more likely the technology has got it wrong somehow (vpn?). Why would he lie about being in Belgium?

But, he let you down without telling you his pans had changed, and you're feeling the need to check up on him this early on. Walk away.

neverendingcold · 16/04/2024 06:57

namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 13:56

I just want to add this isn't the first time he's cancelled. More like the 3rd, that's why I decided to check. He doesn't give me notice. He waits until I ask him on the date , whether we're still on, time etc.

I won't be chasing up with him, as I've more than taken the hint.

Why are you even bothering with him? I can't believe you checked up on his location!

Underestimated4 · 16/04/2024 06:55

If you’re certain he lied then I wouldn’t see him again.

Whatifthehokeycokey · 15/04/2024 17:49

Run for the hills! With OLD it's about quantity with first dates. Go on as many dates as you can (safely, obviously). Be brutal in culling the ones you're not keen on and be utterly unemotional at the very many who ghost you. I used to have a spreadsheet lol.

Applescruffle · 15/04/2024 14:14

Hmmm I'd probably give him another chance if you clicked well when you met and you want to see him again. But I am far too nosy and curious and would have to ask about the lying thing which may put him right off

Original poster
namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 14:11

CheeryPye · 15/04/2024 14:08

You said that absolutely nowhere in your first post.

Show quote history

I have mentioned it in the posts since because a few people mentioned that. and where did I say I have never met him???

OP posts:
Itloggedmeoutagain · 15/04/2024 14:11

I interpreted your op as not met yet so apologies if i got that wrong too but i still think it's stalkerish checking his location

CheeryPye · 15/04/2024 14:08

namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 14:05

Where have I said I haven't met him?
I have. We've been on 3 dates.

Show quote history

You said that absolutely nowhere in your first post.

Original poster
namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 14:05

CheeryPye · 15/04/2024 14:03

You haven't met him and invest all that time checking up on him? Not exactly healthy behaviour on your own part. If a man admitted doing this with a woman he hadn't met he'd get slaughtered.

Where have I said I haven't met him?
I have. We've been on 3 dates.

OP posts:
CheeryPye · 15/04/2024 14:03

You haven't met him and invest all that time checking up on him? Not exactly healthy behaviour on your own part. If a man admitted doing this with a woman he hadn't met he'd get slaughtered.

Catladyireland · 15/04/2024 14:02

This is the problem with online dating. People are so flakey and rude. They get distracted by the next person along. You have to learn how to do that too or you'll drive yourself mad

He owes you nothing but you need to gain back some respect and ignore him now

Original poster
namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 14:00

Janetime · 15/04/2024 13:59

So you’ve never met and he’s cancelled 3 times? You do understand he’s just playing you. Right?

Show quote history

I have met him . 3 dates.

OP posts:
Original poster
namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 13:59

Also this would be our 3rd official date. We are still matched on the dating app. And so far every dates I thought was great.

OP posts:
Janetime · 15/04/2024 13:59

namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 13:56

I just want to add this isn't the first time he's cancelled. More like the 3rd, that's why I decided to check. He doesn't give me notice. He waits until I ask him on the date , whether we're still on, time etc.

I won't be chasing up with him, as I've more than taken the hint.

So you’ve never met and he’s cancelled 3 times? You do understand he’s just playing you. Right?

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