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Original poster

To be annoyed he cancelled and lied.

145 replies

namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 12:50

Had a date planned with a guy from online dating.

Day comes and I ask him what time as we hadn't set that. He tells me he had to go away and it was impromptu, apologised and we can reschedule when he's back.

I decided to check his online profile. This particular dating site tells you what area user was in when he was last online.

His showed he was in Belgium. Flitting between 2 different towns over there.
We messaged back and forth and his location was still showing Belgium.

Monday comes and he asks how my weekend was and I ask him where he went off to. He tells me he had to go to the Lakes for a couple of days. Blatant lie. Not a stalker but I did keep checking the location as something seems a bit off. If he had to go away could he not have told me this a day or 2 before?

OP posts:
Carodebalo · 16/04/2024 09:50

This guy is not for you. He is not interested in you - if he was, he'd be making plans with you and sticking to them! Don't waste your time anymore, I understand you like(d) him and that's why you checked up on him, hoping he had a good reason for standing you up. It seems like he did not, but even if he did, he should have explained himself better. You are worth more than this - block this guy and move on. I hope you'll find someone better soon!!

beanii · 16/04/2024 09:50

You're checking his profiles already?

HE'S had a lucky escape 🤷‍♀️

Agapornis · 16/04/2024 09:46

He doesn't think you're important enough to give plenty of notice to. You're worth more than that.

If you've had enough of OLD, have you joined any hobby groups? Mixed sports groups can be good.

HebburnPokemon · 16/04/2024 09:41

I used to have a spreadsheet lol

I thought I was the only person who did this ha! I’m married now and it was a drama when my spouse saw the historical spreadsheet 😅

DaisyChain505 · 16/04/2024 09:38

namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 13:00

So sick of OLD but genuinely dont know how to meet someone anymore.

Don’t give up. I’m about to marry an amazing man who I met through OLD after being on and off the apps for about two years.

know your standards and worth, listen to your gut and don’t settle. X

Ohlookwhoitis · 16/04/2024 09:36

Why are so many people acting as if OP is unreasonable? The guy is clearly wasting her time, whether he was in Belgium or not, he's messing her around. OP is not a stalker, I doubt she's going to check his location again now that she's decided he's not worth it.

If lots of you would be willing to be played by him, cos "I'm not a stalker" then more fool you.

starfishmummy · 16/04/2024 09:32

I wouldn't take the location from a third party site as being totally accurate.

However as you say he has a habit of cancelling, I'd probably give him up as a bad job.

But maybe work on why you feel the need to stalk someone's every movement?

wplaf · 16/04/2024 09:29

Ghost him

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 16/04/2024 09:23

Scottsy200 · 16/04/2024 09:02

He’s a man you haven’t met yet so in all honesty he owes you absolutely nothing

She's had 3 dates with him so far, says so in previous posts.

Tlolljs · 16/04/2024 09:23

I think when you said he’s cancelled three times people thought you hadn’t met yet.
I don’t know about whether he’s in Belgium or not, seems a strange lie, but just take the hint he’s not that bothered.

Fraggeek · 16/04/2024 09:21

This is concerning behaviour from OP. Not even in a relationship at this stage and checking his location? I'm more concerned about that than what is more than likely a VPN issue.

Swanbeauty · 16/04/2024 09:18

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

JocelynBurnell · 16/04/2024 09:06

He needs to run for the hills.

CheeseFiend40 · 16/04/2024 09:06

I think your focus should be more on the fact he's cancelled on you 3 times at the last minute. That shows he's not bothered about you in the slightest.
You've only been on 3 dates and you're already checking up on whether he's lying to you.
I'd give this one a wide berth

Scottsy200 · 16/04/2024 09:02

He’s a man you haven’t met yet so in all honesty he owes you absolutely nothing

Everythinggreen · 16/04/2024 09:02

VPN my first thought when I read this too, even possibly TOR if IPs were changing. The fact you do this after not even meeting, I'd be telling him to run a mile!

Sasqwatch · 16/04/2024 09:01

blueandwhitesquares · 15/04/2024 12:59

Bunny boiler

Which one? 😂

DrySherry · 16/04/2024 08:58

You could be completely wrong if he uses a vpn. Many people do now as an extra online security method. The location will be completely wrong if you use one, and that's the point of it to give you extra security. It's pretty sensible to do this in the modern world with so many online predators.

ZekeZeke · 16/04/2024 08:56

CantBelieveNaive · 16/04/2024 08:50

She's purely fact checking as acting on her intuition. You can tell you're a misogynist male. 🙄

Show quote history

I'm female and I agree that the poster sounds like a nutter after 3 dates being so invested and stalker like.

idontlikealdi · 16/04/2024 08:54

My laoptop often thinks I'm in SA because of the VPN routing through a server there or something.

CantBelieveNaive · 16/04/2024 08:50

blueandwhitesquares · 15/04/2024 12:59

Bunny boiler

She's purely fact checking as acting on her intuition. You can tell you're a misogynist male. 🙄

NoraBattysCurlers · 16/04/2024 08:47

More likely he is using a VPN (and good thing too!)

No1toldmeaboutit · 16/04/2024 08:47

namechangingforthis100 · 15/04/2024 14:11

I have mentioned it in the posts since because a few people mentioned that. and where did I say I have never met him???

Show quote history

I just want to add this isn't the first time he's cancelled. More like the 3rd, that's why I decided to check

this..it reads like he has cancelled on you 3 times

Gonnagetgoingreturnsagain · 16/04/2024 07:57

Online dating is a bloody nightmare and I was on a few proper dating sites for a while and met a few head fucks online and in person including one from Belgium! 🤣

I then just decided to use one called I think Thursday or something like that and Happn. I connected with a few guys on the Thursday app but got frustrated as you can only use it on Thursdays but on Happn I much more prefer it because it’s supposed to tell you where you bump into men or women. I’ve had a few dates and a relationship of a year from then.

This man isn’t for you OP but internet dating and the dating apps can send you mad. I have also met men when out in pubs and bars preferably with music or an old fashioned cheesy disco with a DJ. One friend of mine met her now DH on Plenty of Fish.

Victoriancat · 16/04/2024 07:47

Well you already sounds nuts so I'm thinking he got away good 😂

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