To think sex is a misogynistic concept?

Nobody has said that.

If you'd said 'AIBU not to have sex because I've been traumatised by it in the past?' nobody would have said anything about 'fun'. But you didn't say that. You said 'AIBU to think sex is misogynistic?' and then talked about that for several paragraphs before only mentioning very briefly that you'd been sexually traumatised and only said that 'might' be a factor.

If you don’t want to have sex, you don’t have to, regardless of the reason. It’s not an obligation.

I'm sure it doesn't. I do the VoiceOfCommonSense makes a reasonable point though which is that once you've decided that all sex is tainted by misogyny then the logical conclusion is that women who enjoy sex have been duped, suffering from a false consciousness or something similarly maladaptive. The idea that a woman who enjoys sex should be treated with suspicion and concern would bring us back to an old and worrisome narrative.

YANBU not to to have sex if you don't want to.

However, YABU to claim that sex is a misogynistic concept,. You're implying that every woman who enjoys sex is some kind of brainwashed victim of predatory men who actually hate them, and that's just nonsense I'm afraid. You are not somehow more enlightened than the millions of women who have a happy sex life, and have seen some kind of light that the rest of us haven't.

You mention that you have some sexual trauma in your past and I sympathise with you for that, but you are projecting your own issues on to other people here. I suspect that, for whatever reason, you don't want to have sex with men, but rather than just owning that saying 'You know what? I've had traumatic time with sex in the past and I'm just not into it, so I'm not going to put myself through it any more' you are trying to validate that by making into a blanket feminist statement.

Honestly, you don't need to dress it up as anything. You are totally entitled not to have sex and there is nothing wrong with that choice. You don't need to justify it in any way and you don't need to attach any ideology to it.

It wasn't that long ago that sex was purely seen as pleasurable for men and something a woman should just have to endure to please them.

You are perpetuating that idea, though. By saying 'It's fundamentally misogynist to have sex' you are, yourself, denying women the agency of making their own sexual choices and positioning all women as victims, which is in itself misogyny.

No not for me
What would the purpose of it be in same sex relationships be?

For me it's like cooking

100% cooking can be seen as women's work, as something that's a woman's duty to provide with a long history of sex based assumptions

Currently I enjoy cooking, I like creating new dishes nourishing both myself and my partner. I feel I need to eat home cooked stuff to thrive, mostly we sharing cooking food for the both of us, sometimes it's a meal for the both of us and sometimes it's a meal that one person enjoys more than the other or a meal just for one person. It's feels like a big part of our relationship

I'd feel very differently if I was expected to cook every night, if duties weren't shared, if I was be asked to cook and eat food that I did not like repeatedly.

It’s not a stereotype, women were put in institutions for enjoying sex or ‘claiming’ to have had an orgasm. It was men controlling women, they didn’t want us to enjoy sex, because then we might cheat, we see exactly the same behaviour from men in many cultures, look at FGM for example.

Sex is obviously not a misogynistic concept, it’s not even a human concept, it’s a biological function, it’s how life has evolved. However, how men have weaponised sex and tried to control women around it, sure is.

It wasn't that long ago that sex was purely seen as pleasurable for men and something a woman should just have to endure to please them.

That is a stereotype though. There have always been plenty of women who enjoyed sex. Arguably, what's misogynistic is that since time immemorial, women who admit to liking sex have been shamed as sluts and women who don't want to have sex have been shamed as being frigid.

Obviously rape is the depressing - go to - tool of misogyny. Whether that's on a grand scale - rape in war to terrorise a nation, or in the domestic setting to terrorise an individual.

For women without trauma, sex is a pleasure, it isn't an act that is harmful or necessitates a loss of autonomy or power.

Obviously, it's fine to sign out from sex. I don't think it helps to declare that all sex that all women have with men is a toxic, self sabotaging act of deference to the patriarchy.

Some truth in this, although I agree, OP, with possibly seeking help for your trauma.
However, when I hit 42, something clicked, unexpected, unplanned, and I cannot imagine having sex ever again. Just.. no. The train doesn't ride over this. And happy with that choice. 🙂

Sex can be different things to different people - undoubtedly there are some people who treat other people like objects when it comes to sex (I'd guess more men toward women in this regard, but I have no stats, so it is only a guess), however there's much more to it than that. Sex shouldn't even be weaponised either though.

Sex is no different to the Internet really.
Whether its positive or negative depends on how it's used.

Your body your choice though.

I think the people most in need of help here are the nasty few who have laughed and been rude. I see mean girls never grow up.

As a female, I’ve always actually enjoyed sex. Mind you, I’ve always picked the right partners. Perhaps that’s the key? 😗

Jesus, you sound like fun love..

Yes, that’s why men invented it.

Lots of animal societies are highly patriarchal…

i’d say both YANBU and YABU on this one OP.

Having sex does not need to involve a man at all.

You can decide not to have sex for any reason, and you can revisit that decision if and when you like.

Just to say I started dating again in my mid 40s and was shocked by the number of men (all but one) I had sex with, who had been sexually active their whole lives, so not inexperienced men, who had no idea, and little or no interest, in how to sexually pleasure a woman.

So yeah, misogyny in sexual activity right there.

You’re talking about abuse of power not sex. You are, of course, entitled to eschew sex bit that’s a very sweeping statement. At its best it’s an expression of love or an opportunity for pleasure. I’d be sad to be without it.

It’s an interesting topic. While I don’t think the act itself is misogynistic, and I believe it can be a very important part of a relationship and important for women, I do think the way society talks, engages and presents it is very misogynistic and detrimental to both boys and girls. Even in a relationship two people can have a very healthy sex life based on trust and respect but outside of that society’s attitude to sex can be damaging or dangerous to that, so it is a factor.

I disagree with your point, but I think the trauma is probably driving it rather than logic and reasoning.
In our house it's a very balanced 'activity' with no bias one way or the other.

Only one sex has an organ specifically for sexual pleasure, and it isn't men. Just saying.