To think sex is a misogynistic concept?

I have two really bright friends who talk about having to have sex with their husbands when they don't want to because the make their lives miserable if they don't.
Ick! Awful

Yeah, same 👍

That has been disproved in many, many studies.
Also it's been used historically in a "You obviously could not have been raped because you are pregnant"

Woah woah woah. You know that only women have an organ purely evolved for pleasure and nothing else, right?

Place marking xx

"I thought the female orgasm made it easier for the sperm to get to the spot."

Isn't one theory that the female orgasm /contractions push the sperm upwards towards the womb? It was believed in the Tudor era that women needed to have an orgasm to conceive.

I thought the female orgasm made it easier for the sperm to get to the spot.

Parts of it are, but the vast majority of animals have the female animal completely in charge of any sexual activity. Rape only tends to happen in domestic/intensive farmed animals and human animals.
Also If that was entirely true gay women would never have sex.
There is obviously a big history in FM of women so they don't enjoy sex.
Absolutely nothing wrong with abstaining from sex for whatever reason.
It's not something that's important to me at all.

If you don't want to have sex - fine.

Your "reasoning" however, (and I use the word in the loosest sense) is utterly bizzare.

In fact often women were sent to physicians for a 'special massage' so that their firey lusts could be tamed.

Was that not because women with good reason to be generally pissed off were diagnosed with hysteria, also known as the wandering womb, and it was 'tamed' by a lucrative income stream for doctors of the wealthy in this manner?

It wasn't that long ago that sex was purely seen as pleasurable for men and something a woman should just have to endure to please them.

From my reading and studies there was a comparatively short period when this view was held by some men in UK society - in the 19th century. It hasn't been the view for most of human history.

Certainly before then female pleasure in sex was thought to promote pregnancy, and it is known to be beneficial now.

women not enjoying sex, or being interested in sex, is a pretty modern, western concept.
Indeed in the middle ages it was considered that women were the ones with the voracious sexual appetites, and if men didnt service them correctly, they were likley to have it away with any passing stable boy who could satisfy their urges. In fact often women were sent to physicians for a 'special massage' so that their firey lusts could be tamed.
Right up until Georgian times women again were considered the bawdy lustful ones - a man was required to have hold and control of his passions - even if only for show.
Alot of what is thought of now - that it is men who need sex, and women who are not interested, come from a mix of puritan attitudes and Victorian England.

I believe that Islam considers that desire was made in 10 parts, and 9 parts were given to women - thats an excuse as to why they may be considered so 'dangerous' - although a man is supposed to sexually satisfy his wife - one Egyptian friend told me that it was a reason that can be given for a woman to request a divorce, but I would need more than that single anecdote to say thats the truth.

The concept of women enjoying sex isn't new at all. It's only in the last few centuries that it kinda fell out of fashion for women to enjoy it. We didn't invent the female orgasm, we only re-discovered it.

Yes, this!

What a fucking awful, smug post!

I agree with this.

I agree with this. Sex is often seen as phallo-centric. “Real” sex starts with penetration and ends with ejaculation for many people, not just obviously sexist men. Anything before is “just” foreplay.

Ah I see, yes I agree with you on that point

I’d say your sexual trauma is skewing your view a lot.

It would be very sad if your abuser takes away any chance you ever have of enjoying healthy sex.

If you want to become celibate then that’s up to you, but it won’t ‘free you from toxic patriarchy’. Instead it will deny you the possibility of bonding and enjoyment within a loving respectful relationship.

I would check you’re taking this view because you really believe in it rather than using it as a way to avoid something that understandably scares you.

Women “weaponise” sex too and seek to use it as a means of control and influence. It’s not a one way street.

Of course, men have tended to be more violent in how they have done so.

It’s not a stereotype, women were put in institutions for enjoying sex or ‘claiming’ to have had an orgasm. It was men controlling women, they didn’t want us to enjoy sex, because then we might cheat, we see exactly the same behaviour from men in many cultures, look at FGM for example.

You must have misunderstood my post. I was saying that the idea that the typical woman tolerates sex but doesn't enjoy it is a stereotype. And it is. Some women enjoy sex and some don't. That has no doubt always been the case. I mentioned in that same post the shaming of women for liking sex, so I'm also not sure why you think I need that pointing out.

Why on earth do you think that (some) men didn’t commonly think sex was over after his orgasm in pre-modern times?

You can’t seriously think that men were all selfless lovers before the year 2000?!

@belfastjun Hi OP, I recently listened to a talk about this which I thought maybe you'd like too, it's more or less about women choosing abstinence/celibacy. You can find it on YouTube by Women's Declaration International (WDI), it's called "RFP Neither ‘incel’ nor ‘volcel’: Relational accounts of UK women's sexual abstinence by K. Cuthbert"

Exactly this.