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Original poster

Would you raise an eyebrow? Can’t work as teenager sick

82 replies

Asprogata · 14/04/2024 21:36

Lovely sunny day (destined to be busy) at a visitor attraction and a key team member (head chef) phoned to say they couldn’t come in as their child had a migraine (16 in a couple of months).

Child is not neuro diverse and no other issues raised about their physical/mental health (which appears otherwise good).

Would you raise an eyebrow?

OP posts:
user1745 · 14/04/2024 22:15

I would personally give the benefit of the doubt and assume the teenager was genuinely ill enough to need looking after.

Unless the staff member in question was known for regularly giving flimsy excuses.

DoreenonTill8 · 14/04/2024 22:14

BabaBarrio · 14/04/2024 22:06

The SM activity is alleged. It’s not fact.

Precisely, and seems to be via the same people complaint about the person being off!

sleekcat · 14/04/2024 22:14

My child has had a migraine so bad that he was screaming and vomited. He was a bit younger than 16 but I would have been too worried to go to work and wouldn’t have been able to do anything without a constant need to check on him. I think it is different when it is your child suffering and not yourself.

MsFaversham · 14/04/2024 22:11

I can’t believe you are questioning a parent who is looking after her sick child. Why are you discussing the reasons with other members of staff, especially about the alleged social media activity? It is not their business. How you, or anyone else, has ever felt with a migraine has got nothing do with anything, neither has other staff member’s family circumstances. I think you need to be a bit more professional in your role as manager as your workplace sounds toxic to me.

PinkFrogss · 14/04/2024 22:08

This is identifiable to the team member involved and their colleagues, which could really damage your working relationship with them.

If you need support with issues like this your line manager or HR team are the appropriate people to discuss with.

If you had, say, a day off for menopause symptoms would you like seeing a post from your line manager seemingly moaning about your absence and talking about how team members and their children are discussing it too?

BabaBarrio · 14/04/2024 22:06

The SM activity is alleged. It’s not fact.

pizzaHeart · 14/04/2024 22:05

I think the fact that they’ve been on SM goes a bit against the parent but are you sure they were posting actively from the morning? Maybe they just posted somewhere later 1 or 2 sentences. Or they could have asked Mum to read and then post something depending on the topic.

Original poster
Asprogata · 14/04/2024 22:04

fieldsofbutterflies · 14/04/2024 22:02

This thread is completely inappropriate and incredibly identifying to any of the staff involved.

It it not identifying as I have changed many of the key details

OP posts:
Baileyqueen · 14/04/2024 22:04

MrsPerfect12 · 14/04/2024 22:01

The child is on social media. They do not have a debilitating migraine. No the employee should not be off.

I agree with this, wouldn’t be able to even think about looking at a screen with a migraine!

fieldsofbutterflies · 14/04/2024 22:02

This thread is completely inappropriate and incredibly identifying to any of the staff involved.

mollyfolk · 14/04/2024 22:02

Is it an ongoing issue ? Because I’d it’s not a regular occurrence I would give them the benefit of the doubt. I wouldn’t leave my child alone in the house if I was worried about them. So if they were having a horrific migraine and literally couldn’t get out of bed I probably wouldn’t leave them.

Tahinii · 14/04/2024 22:01

HummingbirdChandelier · 14/04/2024 21:59

16 is an adult in Scotland.

Well, legally and morally, there are employers who value their employees and would facilitate the occasional day off if an adult child was extremely unwell.

Predictablenamechange1 · 14/04/2024 22:01

ToxicChristmas · 14/04/2024 21:47

Totally depends how debilitating the migraine is. I've also hallucinated while having them and it's absolutely terrifying. I've had one so bad I couldn't walk to the loo unaided.

I've had serious migraines and my husband literally needed to carry me in for a wee. Then clean my teeth for me and put me to bed. I was staggering all over the place and begging for help in intense pain.

Not my greatest moment but I would have not coped being alone!

BabaBarrio · 14/04/2024 22:01

HummingbirdChandelier · 14/04/2024 21:59

16 is an adult in Scotland.

Wiki says that was raised to 18 in 1991?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_Legal_Capacity_(Scotland)_Act_1991

RickyGervaislovesdogs · 14/04/2024 22:01

You have reason to suspect they were not telling the truth because the child was on social media throughout the day?
I wouldn’t have thought you’d be able to be updating your socials when you have a migraine. So I can see your point!

MrsPerfect12 · 14/04/2024 22:01

The child is on social media. They do not have a debilitating migraine. No the employee should not be off.

Tahinii · 14/04/2024 22:01

Asprogata · 14/04/2024 21:58

I haven’t posted anything anything identifying and am looking for advice. This is allowed.

I suffered crippling migraines during an extremely abusive childhood and I struggle to sometimes understand what the accepted position on this sort of stuff is. Largely the responses support the employee. I will take this advice on.

I’ve had people griping at me that it is unfair and have sought a more rounded view here.

So what is your particular problem?

Show quote history

My advice would be to tell the whinging employees that other people’s personal life is none of their business. They have no right to question why another person is off unless they’re the manager.

darkchocolatecoffee · 14/04/2024 22:00

I wouldn’t raise an eyebrow as I’ve witnessed how bad they can be in person. My cousin has them and loses her vision which sounds very scary!

HummingbirdChandelier · 14/04/2024 21:59

16 is an adult in Scotland.

Tahinii · 14/04/2024 21:59

HummingbirdChandelier · 14/04/2024 21:57

You really can’t be off work because your adult child is unwell

I mean, you absolutely can if you have a supportive employer. I manage people and have had people rush off to check on unwell partners and older teens. It’s give and take. If they’re otherwise a good employee, I won’t penalise them for the occasional incident.

goldenretrievermum5 · 14/04/2024 21:59

HummingbirdChandelier · 14/04/2024 21:57

You really can’t be off work because your adult child is unwell

You are incredibly naive and fortunate to be able to hold this opinion

BabaBarrio · 14/04/2024 21:58

HummingbirdChandelier · 14/04/2024 21:57

You really can’t be off work because your adult child is unwell

16 is an adult? And yes you can when it is a legally recognised disability. You can be the carer of a disabled person of any age- adulthood is irrelevant.

goldenretrievermum5 · 14/04/2024 21:58

HummingbirdChandelier · 14/04/2024 21:55

That's bonkers. My child gets migraines so I know the horror of them, but I’d never dream of being off my work

They come in different severities. DD gets some milder ones where she’s absolutely fine to be left alone and sleep it off but there are also times where she literally couldn’t even get out of bed if she wanted/needed to in order to get water, medication etc. The hallucinations especially can be very severe, I wouldn’t dream of leaving her alone like that

Original poster
Asprogata · 14/04/2024 21:58

PinkFrogss · 14/04/2024 21:53

If you’re the manager do you really think this is an appropriate thing to post?

If people agree it’s an issue and you did decide to bring it up with your team member how would you feel if they showed you a screenshot of this post and said they believe you’ve handled it inappropriately?

I haven’t posted anything anything identifying and am looking for advice. This is allowed.

I suffered crippling migraines during an extremely abusive childhood and I struggle to sometimes understand what the accepted position on this sort of stuff is. Largely the responses support the employee. I will take this advice on.

I’ve had people griping at me that it is unfair and have sought a more rounded view here.

So what is your particular problem?

OP posts:
HummingbirdChandelier · 14/04/2024 21:57

You really can’t be off work because your adult child is unwell