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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Strange Grandmother Name claim

65 replies

lulufar · 14/04/2024 21:01

More of a WWYD. I have changed names. We have a large blended family. My niece is about to have a baby. My neice's step-mother has just stated that her grandmother name is going to be "Charlie" as her middle name is Sharlene. The issue is my daughter aged 13 has always been called "Charlie" as her name is Charlise. My daughter is naturally upset that her name has been claimed as a grandmother name and what grandmother has ever been called "Charlie". The stepmother claims that there is no problem as she will spell "Charlie" differently think "Charley". I just find the whole thing very odd and at the moment am waiting to see if she will realise that this is a very strange behaviour. So WWYD?

You are being unreasonable - suck it up 13 year old and change your name back to Charlise.

You are NOT being unreasonable - call stepmother Granny Charley

OP posts:
neverendingcold · 14/04/2024 21:21

Ahhh no this is ridiculous sorry op

ThePoshUns · 14/04/2024 21:20

It really has nothing to do with you, you're making a fuss about nothing.

AssassinsEyebrow · 14/04/2024 21:19

Can I choose,"yabu and keep dd name as charlie"?

Fuss over nothing.

No different to her knowing another Charlie.

Changingplace · 14/04/2024 21:17

Your daughter won’t be calling her by this name so it’s none of your business really what your neices child calls her step grandma, it sounds like you’re way too involved in each others lives tbh take a step back.

There is no issue whatsoever, you’re being silly and encouraging your daughter to be equally silly.

DietrichandDiMaggio · 14/04/2024 21:17

YABU , but your daughter can still be called Charlie and doesn't need to start using Charlise.
Is the stepmother married to your, or your husband's brother, so is now your sister in law? If not, how much would they even have to do with each other?

Gh167 · 14/04/2024 21:17

I’m not going to vote as I don’t think either of them need to be a thing, surely they can both be called Charlie if that’s what they both prefer to be called - in the nicest way possible, I don’t see how this will affect your daughter in any way at all?

DrJoanAllenby · 14/04/2024 21:16

'The issue is my daughter aged 13 has always been called "Charlie" as her name is Charlise. My daughter is naturally upset that her name has been claimed as a grandmother name'

You and your daughter need to get a grip.

What a pile of nonsense. You don't own the name.

Canyousewcushions · 14/04/2024 21:15

"Niece's stepmother" is most definitely wider family rather than immediate, so i think YABU. It would be completely different if it was your own stepmother.

Its not uncommon for names to appear more than once within a family,.so for me it's a total non-issue (I have a DBro, Uncle and FIL who all share a first name, for example).

Plus, Granny Charley won't be your daughter's granny, so just keep calling her whatever she's currently called!!

FinallyPregnant23 · 14/04/2024 21:12

This sounds like such a non issue. Do you spend a lot of time with this nieces step mother? If so isn’t she the one who will look silly all of a sudden calling herself the same name as your DD?

Meceme · 14/04/2024 21:12

My daughter had 'Flossie's nana' and 'Sandy's nana' after their dogs.
Children find their own names.

DoreenonTill8 · 14/04/2024 21:09

What's the step mother's first name?

Newname71 · 14/04/2024 21:09

PuttingDownRoots · 14/04/2024 21:06

Your niece will influence what her child calls her grandparents (including step grandparents). If she doesn't want her to call her step mum Charlie due to her cousin being Charlie... she will refer to her as something else.

Children often come up with their own descriptors anyway... mine used to call their grandfathers "Bus grandad" and "Garden Grandad," after their jobs!

Thats cute. DS2 always called his grandads shouty grandad( he was deaf) and grumpy grandad (he was grumpy tbf) 😀

PuttingDownRoots · 14/04/2024 21:06

Your niece will influence what her child calls her grandparents (including step grandparents). If she doesn't want her to call her step mum Charlie due to her cousin being Charlie... she will refer to her as something else.

Children often come up with their own descriptors anyway... mine used to call their grandfathers "Bus grandad" and "Garden Grandad," after their jobs!

PrattleTime · 14/04/2024 21:05

To me it just sounds like your niece's stepmother is trying to choose a name that isn't a traditional grandmother name and she doesn't want to just use her real name so she's cute-si-fied it to make it more special.

BreakfastAtMimis · 14/04/2024 21:03

Okaaay. This woman is not actually related to your daughter, so she can call herself what she likes.