Strange Grandmother Name claim

I really can’t imagine situations where they would be mixed up.

Yeah, I agree that this doesn't matter. Of course your daughter shouldn't change what people call her. Personally, I think it's a bit silly when grandparents try to avoid being called one of the traditional names (Granny, Nanna, etc.), but it won't matter in the long run. Maybe your daughter can come up with a cute nickname for just the baby to call her, if she'd like, but it's not necessary.

I had a great aunt who had two daughters who both ended up married to men called Bob. They were just referred to as “(daughter’s name’s) Bob” and it didn’t really cause any issues so I’m sure this can be lived with!

so true!!! My husband, my father, my granddad, his grandad, his uncle, his cousin are all called John. We made it work 😂😂😂

What a non issue, ffs.

Does your daughter even see your niece’s stepmother? It seems a really distant relationship. She’s your daughter’s aunty by marriage, is that right? And the only one who would call her that name anyway is your daughter’s half-cousin. Realistically how often are they likely to even be in the same room?

1. The grandma is being weird. Never heard something so batshit before.
2. The baby will call her whatever she wants anyway. It will probably be grandma Charlie or sth like that and ther will not be any confusion.
3. She's actually extended family, it really doesn't matter if there are 2 Charlie's in the family and you should calmly explain this to your daughter so she doesn't make this a big deal. No reason to be upset.

My DH’s stepmum is known as ‘Nanna Angela’ to my kids. A nice balance.

So this is about your daughter's first cousin once removed calling her step grandmother a name that sounds quite like your daughter's name.

How does this matter at all? Yeah if you are a big family that gets together a lot there may be a bit of "are you yelling for Charlie or Sharlie" eventually - probably around the time your daughter stops going to big family events - but really how likely is that.

Leave them at it. your daughter doesn't need to use her full name (you were joking when you said that OP - right?) This is a non event.

I find it seriously odd when grandparents declare “I will be called so and so” especially when it’s a non-grandparent name!
Kids end up calling their grandparents either

1. Whatever older cousins call them
2. Whatever they are able to pronounce when they start to speak

Declaring a child not yet born will call you X is on the controlling side.

Yeah but it’s not her name, it’s her middle name. It’s a bizarre idea. In future, when the baby is a young child, will people refer to step-grandma as “Charlie” or whatever her actual name is ? That’ll be so confusing for the child.

Charley isn't short for sharlene though is it? Sharley could be.

Or is Charlene?

At the end of the day, how much contact will your daughter have with your niece's step grandmother?

Shes a step grandmother and lots of people think they shouldn't be refereed to as gran/Nanna/grandma. And one of her names is sharlene so Charlie is a shortened version of that.

This is a bit of a non-issue. How often will they actually be in the same room for it to make any difference? There are plenty of families where two or more people share the same name. Yabu to make a big deal of it, they can both be Charlie.

Hmm 2 people having the same name is not very strange behaviour 🙄

@TomWambsgansSwanscross posted with you. I don’t understand the relationship either, but assume niece’s step-mother must be Op’s ex-brother-in-law’s new wife. I can’t see how it’s a problem for such a distant relationship. The niece will have to call her step-mother and her cousin by the same name, but that could have happened anyway. The issue is just the supposed ‘grannyfying’ of Op’s daughter’s name but it isn’t, is it.

If step-mother’s name was Rose Charley Surname, then Niece’s baby could be told to call them ‘Grandpa and Rose’ because she’s not the actual grandma, niece’s mother is. So ‘Grandpa and Charley’ is basically the same. It doesn’t make ‘Charley’ a granny name, it’s just a name.

Unless you’ve changed so many details to make this absolutely not identifying, it doesn’t really make sense.
Why would your daughter care about her cousin’s step-mother? How often will she have to hear about the other Charley? The relationship isn’t close enough to worry about it.

@lulufar I don't understand the relationship here. Surely your niece's stepmother is your sister-in-law?

Does your brother/your husband have any thoughts? If so they can say anything needed, but tbh Charlie is such a popular name that your DD will not be the only Charlie in their cousin's baby's life.

Some of our (massive) family have two or three cousins either with the same name (eg named after a shared grandad) or because they only really see each other at family parties. I can see your DD might be upset but she needs to accept it, unusual as it is for the stepmother to just make a name up. Ime most children end up being the ones to choose the grandparent's names not the other way around.

Has your niece got anyone else that the baby is going to be calling grandma or similar? Perhaps the stepmother is trying to not be called grandma because she's a stepmother.

It's totally fine for two people to have the same name.

A bit weird the step mother is using her middle name as a title, but each to their own.

What I don’t really understand is why your DD feels that this will affect her in the slightest, or why she would need to change her name back to Charlise. Why does she think that there can only be one Charlie? Does she understand that as she gets older and meets more people, she’s going to come across a few Charlies. It’s not that unusual a name. Is she going to get possessive about them too?

I wonder whether it’s a case of a teenager enjoying a bit of melodrama? If so, I think you’d be doing her a favour by telling her that she’s being silly and that an infant is not going to have any difficulties distinguishing between Nanny Charley and Cousin Charlie.

You’re making a mountain out of an (non-existent) molehill.

Your daughter’s name is Charley. That won’t change.

Nueve’s granny’s going to also be called Charley. So what? How often will you see nieces child and grandmother.

Is no one else in the world allowed to be called Charlie?

It is fine for your neices step mother to call herself Charlie. Nothing to do with you. What you think of it is of no relevance. She can call herself whatever she wants

I've never heard of anyone making up a new name for being a grandmother but at 13 your child is old enough to know that she doesn't have sole ownership of a name

I’m confused why you are both bothered. Continue calling your daughter Charlie and let the extended family crack on

I think it's a bit shit to make up a grandmother name, either use her first name or a traditional one (foreign is fine)

But even with that in mind, how often will your DD be around your niece's step mother??