AIBU to feel irritated by DH asking me to cover up when I don't want sex?

The real test of a person is how they deal with things why you say 'no'.

This really isn't good, is it ?

This is one of the most shocking posts I've ever read on here. I am genuinely worried for you. Please get some help 💐

I half hope the dirty fucker is reading this because he's not normal, not nice in any way.

Only half because I'm worried for you if he does read it. Please call women's aid

It’s really sad to read your update just to see how warped your perspective of a healthy, loving relationship is.

Tracking you, not wanting you to be alone anywhere, “letting” you work, masturbating over you sleeping, being “weird” when you don’t have sex with him, covering you up, the fact you don’t even enjoy sex with him. I’m sure the list is endless. None of this is ok.

I don't expect you will read this OP but I cannot, in good conscience, read this and not comment. None of this behaviour is normal, NONE. This isn't love in any description, its control and none of this is him caring about your wellbeing, its all that he doesn't want anyone else to play with his things. You're a belonging to him, that's all. You probably don't see it because you've been so conditioned into it for so long but good lord, this is nowhere near normal.

Because the urge to punch it might be too much for your self control…

I'm concerned that the 'I'm so scared of losing you' is a cover for 'I need to know your every move' in a more controlling way. If it really is about anxiety about losing you this severely, he needs professional help.

Fuck me, your update makes this 1,000x worse.

In fact he idolises me. He is so scared of losing me it torments him, he has nightmares where I've cheated on him or been raped and then he's off-colour for days as it makes him so anxious.

If the tracker doesn't update properly then he calls me or texts me to check I'm okay. He drives me everywhere as he doesn't want me to be anywhere on my own in case I get attacked.

This. Is. Not. Normal. Or healthy. None of it. It's fucking terrifying.

Our children are grown up and out of the home now but he lets me work part-time so I can look after the house and our pets, and look after my parents

He let's you work?!
That's good of him. 🙄

None of you know him so I totally understand why you don't believe me when I say in every other way he's a wonderful husband

Sorry but that comment and then this totally contradicts each other
in fact he idolises me. He is so scared of losing me it torments him, he has nightmares where I've cheated on him or been raped and then he's off-colour for days as it makes him so anxious
if the tracker doesn't update properly then he calls me or texts me to check I'm okay. He drives me everywhere as he doesn't want me to be anywhere on my own in case I get attacked

That is not healthy behaviour, I couldn't live with that behaviour if DH was like that with me, tracking my every move and not even letting me go anywhere by myself.
Seriously not normal, sorry

He has done a total number on you, so much so you think he is right and you're wrong!

The tracking etc is not about care, it's about control, don't let him convince you otherwise.

Does he not know how to deal with an unwanted erection?

find a website that sells burkas and ask him to pick out 2 for you. To and then wear them - all the time in the house.

He’s being a cock and he needs to learn self control.

horny? He needs to slap his own cock with a spikey stick every time he thinks your clothing is the reason he can’t act like an adult and behave himself.

Gay men manage to control their horniness in changing rooms up and down the country when straight attractive men are in their presence.

Again @RaspberryRippleDuvet he isn’t a really lovely husband tracking you and recording you and accusing you of cheating if you don’t give him sex and you have to sleep in separate beds!

I have my DH and each other on tracking, but that’s purely to see if they’re stuck at work when they can’t access their phones for tea etc. Not to track each others movement, the difference is there is trust and no other huge waving red flags.

Why on earth are you telling her to give him a chance? The behaviour that he is showing is absolutely disgusting, their children will have to witness all this which is very unhealthy. Also if the husband knows she was abused in the past by a family member that makes it a million times worst. Are you here partner?

You're still being abused but it's become your normal. Please go and speak to an professional.

This makes me wonder if he is looking at other women flashing their ankles and if he's a sex addict tbh

If you don't mind answering, how often are you having sex?

Absolutely this op @RaspberryRippleDuvet

OP

When you posted here. What guidance was you hoping for and what do you think you was going to do?

As there are many posts almost all siding with you, what is your plan of action?

"Before u leave him u need to chat with him seriously.give him a chance"

Another "Man here 👋🏼"

Seriously pal, give it a rest.

A chance? After years of sexual assaults and accusations? I think he's had his chances.

No. Why should she give her abuser another chance? Did you not read her update?

To my surprise ( I like words) , I can’t find enough ways to say YUCK.
How does this dude walk down a street? Does he start humping lamp posts? Throw random blankets over passing women?

He’s slavered and drooled himself into another galaxy because YUCK.
I’m sorry OP, but this ( to me ) sounds like a form of sexual coercion.