AIBU to feel irritated by DH asking me to cover up when I don't want sex?

”If the tracker doesn't update properly then he calls me or texts me to check I’m OK where I am”

corrected that for you OP 😱

This really went from 0-100 in about 3 seconds, so I’m hoping that it’s a troll thread and NOT serious, because if this is real then this man is TERRIFYING.

Frightening how anyone can type all that out and still believe it is “love” as opposed to abuse!

Jesus fucking christ

I hope you can get the strength to leave one day OP

Exactly! He let's her work part-time, he tracks her wherever she goes because he loves her so much.... none of this feels wrong to OP because she is so worn down and controlled by this "wonderful" man.
From the outside we can see how wrong, and abusive, this all is - unfortunately the OP has lived with this so long she doesn't see it & even worse, she doesn't want to be told.
I really hope OP has someone in real life that she can talk to (purposely not tagging OP in case he is also checking her emails, which is not beyond the realms of possibility).

That's exactly how someone in this position will see it. She won't have mentioned it initially because it won't seem significant to her.

It’s more the way she later dropped in he lets me work, if it’s real it is very chilling

Even if it is a wind up (I don't think it is), it's still a very accurate impression of a long term, subtly coercive and controlling relationship that appears to be fine because there's no violence or infidelity. And there are lots of those.

I don't believe it's a wind up.

I do believe it's one of the most chilling examples of a woman who is so enmeshed in a coercive controlling, abusive relationship for the past 25 years that she can't see the danger she's in.

I know OP has left the thread, but I do hope she gets the strength to post again... and maybe little by little she'll see the light.

The door into an oubliette, ideally.

Because she told everyone!

How on earth did your ex know the details of the coercive sex life of the daughter of one of his neighbours???

My ex told me about the daughter of one of his neighbours. She was married to a terrible man. He used to come home from work and demand sex every lunchtime. She put up with it because of the footballers' wife lifestyle (he wasn't actually a footballer, but she lived the Real housewives life). She said he used to demand it even when she was having her period and she couldn't say no. These animals need to be shown the door.

So this poor lady has been conditioned to accept rape throughout her married life and genuinely doesn't understand that unwanted sex, even in marriage is rape.

And that her husband cannot pick up on her social ques and body language and is very happy to use his wife's body for his own gratification. He is a rapist.

OP, the price for a nice life and a nice home is not and never ever should be unwanted sex.

I hope find some peace and I hope you find courage. I hope you don't expect your daughters to live like this too.

The same poster is on another thread and couldn't even get the sex of the child correct, even though it's mentioned multiple times and also has very lame-azzed pontificating, disguised as "advice".

I think they enjoy reading their posts out loud to themselves.

So if you're hot and bothered and on the blob you have to cover yourself up because at best he'll have a full on mantrum about it?

What happens when you're not on the blob, does he just pester you until you give in for a quiet life? Does he monitor your periods as I'm guessing that's the only time he'll pretend he respects your wishes not to have sex?

He isn't a nice man. Being sexually frustrated doesnt give him the right to act like this. You don't owe him sex as some kind of payment for him occasionally acting like a decent human being.

If you believe hes a wonderful husband phone woman’s aid and ask them cos they’ll tell you he’s been abusing you for the last 25 years

coercive
emotional
sexual

they are all abusive behaviours and against the law

I’m hoping you’ll see this for what it is.

you've been the boiled frog analogy sadly

please be very careful and get help.

Yes, there’s always that. Or a patriarchal AI. The ‘intelligence’ it’s mimicking is that of Geoff, 60, golfer and Mason, UKIP councillor, liable to quips about ‘lady golfers” and ‘the lady of the house’. Wears slacks.

Oh, right.

I don't know, it could be. An pompous, patronising, superior tone over a load of old abuse-excusing bollocks is very much par for the course for many of the dudes we have on here these days, though.

Sorry, I meant what you were responding to. Which does sound pure AI.

Check my username. I'm not really here.

@FrederickaDaniels

A solution would be for her to be free of this controlling, sexually abusive abhorrent excuse of a man.

That sounds pure AI.

Such posts may be intended as intelligent, reasoned and rational. But, it's important to understand that they're pompous twaddle attempting to excuse sinister control tactics and make them the victim's responsibility to manage.

Did you read her updates or just the OP?
He may be experiencing difficult emotions of his own, but that doesn't excuse his abusive behaviour

Such actions may be perceived as controlling and limiting your freedom. But, it's important to understand that your partner may be experiencing difficult emotions of their own, and talking openly about this between you can help find a solution that you both feel comfortable with.