To think this is just being a parent - not being a martyr?

Sorry I agree about the antibiotics although ANBU about the whole eating thing. The way you say the doctor has refused on occasions to prescribe them makes me think you are asking for them. Whenever I see the GP with my little ones if they say they are unsure if it’s viral or bacterial they will say it’s up to me if I have the antibiotics. I say no most of the time unless I’m sure it really is bad. It would be very easy to say yes each time or even to ask for them and be given them without being sure it’s actually a bacterial infection. I’m not saying your DD or you or your DH have never needed them, it sounds like she has been really poorly and definitely needed them at times. But between the three of you you have taken a very very high amount of antibiotics in a very short timeframe. If you’ve each genuinely had a bacterial infection each time that didn’t clear up without them then fair enough, but I think PPs are just trying to flag that overuse of antibiotics can be very dangerous and the country is tipping towards a crisis point with it.

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/antibiotics/antibiotic-antimicrobial-resistance/

I did make it clear that none of us know the ins and outs of your child’s health. Why would you e we are strangers online reading eh brief details you have provided. However, in GENERAL we all need to watch the overuse of antibiotics and there is no harm in posters mentioning that given that’s it’s quite rare for a 15 month old to have 6 doses, her DM 4 doses and her DF 3 doses of antibiotics in under half a year. That’s a hell of a lot of antibiotics. Could be a run of very bad health luck. Could be over use of powerful drugs. None of us know which. Your DC could be suffering gut issues form the antibiotics (even if they were needed they can still be the cause of her issues in tummy now which obviously can’t be helped if the were needed in hospital). If I was you I’d be focusing more on the selfishness of your DH which is surely what you were posting about anyway rather than being combative with any posters who query the level of antibiotic use.

@Alphabetsouplover I’m sorry but your DH sounds like a selfish man. Yes people
get hungry but you need to grab something quickly before leaving inc car (banana, cereal bar from shop on way) and just get on with it. I’d be mortified if I was taking a sick child to GP and their dad didn’t come into the appointment as he was sitting eating in the waiting room after having food delivered to the GP!!! Who does that??

As for your hospital trip. Ideally you DH would have automatically thought to bring food to you knowing you waiting and couldn’t leave but you should have demanded asked him to bring you something to eat or come sit with DC for half hour so you could get food. No way should one parent be sitting 3am to 4pm the next day without anything when the other parent is around. It might be understandable if you had another child he was caring for but it doesn’t sound like you do and even then most DH would go in daytime hours with other child to ensure you ate. He’s selfish and you were being bit of a martyr (on that occasion not on the GP post holiday waiting for breakfast occasion that was normal parenting).

Also … gentle OP please do consider what some PP were trying to explain re the antibiotics and over medicating. They aren’t trying to be mean it’s a real and genuine worry for a small child be be having that many antibiotics and for them to be on stronger doses. Obviously none of us know medically if “needed” and they may well be but there can be a tendency amongst parents to need “meds” for children when they are sick rather than allowing their bodies to heal themselves. This is a general comment not your DD specifically as obviously don’t now ins and outs of her illnesses. Generally, there are parents who overmedicate eg giving calpol frequently etc. this can and does impact DC longer term health too. The fact that you and your DH have had 3/4 courses of antibiotics is also worrying. This is rare. Perhaps a run of bad luck but I’d be avoiding them as much as possible and trying built up gut health and immunity. I hope you DD gets well and you manage to give your DH a kick up the butt.

Glad your little one is doing better. Genuine question though - are all these illnesses you mention not viral? Bronchilotis, chest infections etc? And her current illness what bacteria is it that is causing it?
It seems odd to me that you are being prescribed antibiotics so much.

I’ve got 4 young adult / teen kids now who all went to nursery and I think they maybe had max 3 courses of antibiotics each over their childhoods. One has childhood asthma and one seemed to have a cough for about 2 years so not some of these “never sick” kids.

Dear god, bloody man-child. I would disown him.

Did you read the OP’s post? If so you must have comprehension issues.

My youngest son was like this as a baby/toddler. It got to the point that he was admitted to hospital 7 times in one year when he was 2. He is now 7 years old, uses an inhaler as they believe he is asthmatic (has had one for years but they're holding off with an official diagnosis) and hasn't been to the gp/hospital for probably 18 months/2 years. He still picks up coughs and colds easier than his older brother, but he fights them off himself (sometimes needing a few days off school) and they are becoming less frequent as his immune system continues to strengthen. Sending you love as I know going through this is very difficult.

@Alphabetsouplover YANBU about your DH.

I thought I’d just post some words of encouragement. My DS was a healthy baby until about this age and then suffered with endless chest issues which may have been asthma or not. We ended up back and forth to the doctor so many times it was all completely exhausting.

He grew out of it. He was a rather clingy, sensitive toddler and younger child but grew into a happy confident and extremely healthy lad and young man.

I would never have believed it when we were at your stage. Hang in there.

@Alphabetsouplover that poster is doing you a favour by telling you to slow down on the interventions. You can insult her all you like but ultimately if the antibiotics cause long term damage to your child then it is them you will have to answer to as an adult. They wont blame the doctor. they'll blame you.

If you take a sick child to a GP with a risk of infection its very difficult for the GP to refuse to treat them because they could be sued if something goes wrong. Then when you take into account that any negative side effects from antibiotics cant be held against them you'll see how they end up oversubscribing them - it's just the incentive structure at work. they'll also look at each visit individually on its own merits, and most likely wont take into account the combined downside of multiple rounds of antibiotics. As a parent you need to be able to see the big picture of her long term health and not just blindly follow their advice every time.

Even despite the aforementioned incentive structure it sounds like the doctors are pushing back because you're there too much. that is quite a strong indication that you are overdoing it.

BTW dairy can cause constipation sometimes. You could try removing that for a few days to see if it helps.

So he didn't go in to see the doctor until he had eaten or did he not go into see them at all?

Honestly I believe you've messed with your child's immune system too much with all the medication and antibiotics. I've seen this happen with friends. Ironically I've noticed the more people intervene with their kids health the sicker their kids are. I'd give all the treatments a rest unless absolutely necessary and do some research about nutrition and gut bacteria replacement.

If you do end up in a similar hospital situation again I’d be asking my Dh when he is going to turn up with food and to take a shift? Or is it fine if you’re going hungry and totally unacceptable if he is because he’s special? Seriously he needs to do more active parenting here.

I agree about using a childminder. Mine did and were very rarely unwell.

Do you have any family who can help out between now & September? Maybe reduce nursery to fewer days? DD must be worn out from catching everything going.

It sounds like he might not think it is quite as serious as you do, but doesn’t have the courage to say so.

I said this in a pp but have you considered a childminder or nanny share? Less kids to mix with so she'll hopefully get less sick. Nursery does lead to the most sickness in young kids

YANBU.

A grown adult can forgo breakfast (and many other meals). Nearly all of us eat too much (me included) and have plenty in reserve!!!

Why are men so pathetic?! I would have left him to find his own way home...