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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To take daughter on holiday in term time?

248 replies

ELW12 · 14/04/2024 09:12

Exactly what the title says basically.
We were looking at going on holiday during the May half term, but the prices are just so out of reach for us. Daughter is in Reception so this has been the first year of having the issue of school holiday prices, and the problem we face is having to decide on either not going on holiday at all, or taking her out for the week before May half term.
I obviously appreciate education is very important, but surely it is important to make memories as a family as well? If we could afford to take her in half term then of course we would. Is it THAT bad for us to do it during school? I was thinking of asking her teacher if we could take some work with us so she doesn’t massively miss out.
Also, is it best to be honest with the school and just accept the fine? I feel like daughter will be far to excited to not let it slip, and also don’t like the idea of asking her to lie so we can pretend she is ill!

OP posts:
PartTimeTeacher · 14/04/2024 10:39

I haven't read TFT so sorry if this is repeated but is she 5 yet? You can't be fined before their 5th birthday anyway.

In answer to your question, yes, be transparent with the school.

And don't ask the teacher for extra work - it just adds a huge amount of workload.

Mademetoxic · 14/04/2024 10:38

Kinshipug · 14/04/2024 10:37

Perhaps you should save up and take a private jet then?

I am entitled to my opinion. I find it really annoying when parents think that school rules do not apply to them and take them out constantly.

Kinshipug · 14/04/2024 10:37

Mademetoxic · 14/04/2024 10:25

I do. Yet there's still kids around on the plane. It's really annoying.

Perhaps you should save up and take a private jet then?

Bluevelvetsofa · 14/04/2024 10:36

These sort of threads always go the same way. OP feeling they have to justify their actions, posters saying it doesn’t matter, it’s primary, making memories is important, travel broadens the mind, it’s too expensive in school holiday time.

All of which are true, with the possible exception of ‘it doesn’t matter’, but, if you decide on a less expensive holiday, there’s no need to try to justify it. You e made the decision, based on what you feel is best for your family, so be confident with it.

Don't lie to the school. Don't ask for work, because it’s a pain for the teacher and you’ll be too busy having a good time to do it anyway. It isn’t the school who issues fines, it’s the local authority and it’s because there’s such a focus on attendance and educational outcomes.

Rowleywaykid · 14/04/2024 10:35

Don’t take your children on holiday in term time. It’s hard enough trying to avoid other peoples’ children without you moving the half term goal posts.

DelphiniumBlue · 14/04/2024 10:34

Realistically, if you do the holiday before half term, but she’s not back in school till after the half term, she can talk about the holiday and it won’t matter.
The staff will probably guess that the holiday was during the week she wasn’t at school, but they won’t care. With older children, the other kids alway tell us if a classmate is abroad,but most teachers would not be mentioning that to the person who deals with attendance, unless there is already a serious attendance issue.
Have the holiday.

PrincessHoneysuckle · 14/04/2024 10:34

We.did it at that age if it's less than 5 consecutive days you won't get fined.

dizzydizzydizzy · 14/04/2024 10:34

We did is all the time when our DCs were that age. The school didn't like it but the class teachers said it was fine by them and actually I think they were even in favor of it.

We didn't do it further up primary school or secondary school except once when Dc1 was in y7 and we had the opportunity for a very educational trip to China (was a business trip for DP). DC1's secondary head approved it, and DC2's primary head didn't.

ELW12 · 14/04/2024 10:33

Mademetoxic · 14/04/2024 10:31

It's just annoying when i choose to take my holidays out of school time and there are parents with families around who think the school rules do not apply to them.

@Mademetoxic for all you know some of those children could be home schooled! 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
TunaCrunchy · 14/04/2024 10:32

A few times I took mine out from Wednesday to Friday so we could go on a 10/11 day holiday at February half term when my DC we’re in primary school.

The last time I did it I took them out the Wednesday and Thursday before Good Friday and my DC was upset ther missed some Easter stuff at school. I didn’t do it after that, I did feel bad but it was so tempting as we went to Cuba and it saved £1700 (18 years ago) by flying out two days earlier.

Mademetoxic · 14/04/2024 10:31

Kinshipug · 14/04/2024 10:24

Go to an adult only resort then.

It's just annoying when i choose to take my holidays out of school time and there are parents with families around who think the school rules do not apply to them.

sugarloafislander · 14/04/2024 10:27

ELW12 · 14/04/2024 09:32

@sugarloafislander thats absolutely fine, that’s why I said I was only thinking about it as I didn’t know if it was the ‘done’ thing or not, now I know not too! Will take some of our own books and workbooks from home.

Perfect! Have a lovely time!

SD1978 · 14/04/2024 10:26

I do it, I don't have any guilt, and will continue to. I don't expect the teacher to accomodate my choices, regarding school work, it's up to us. But I will take holidays when I'm able to, and will not feel any guilt about doing so.

MariaVT65 · 14/04/2024 10:25

Djmaggie · 14/04/2024 10:24

I’ve taken DS out of school for the last couple of days of the summer term often since he was in reception. He is Yr 6 now so we haven’t this year and won’t going forward but in earlier primary school, I don’t see the issue. It can save £800-1000 for missing 2 days of colouring in. There is generally no active learning happening in the last couple of days. Go and enjoy your holiday!

This. I was taken out 2 days early at xmas in year 5. What i missed was a 1 line part in the school xmas play. I didn’t want to be an actress so it hasn’t massively impacted my life. Just do it op :)

Mademetoxic · 14/04/2024 10:25

Kinshipug · 14/04/2024 10:24

Go to an adult only resort then.

I do. Yet there's still kids around on the plane. It's really annoying.

Kinshipug · 14/04/2024 10:24

Mademetoxic · 14/04/2024 10:22

It is really annoying when i go away on holiday during term time and seeing children around when they should be at school....

Go to an adult only resort then.

Djmaggie · 14/04/2024 10:24

I’ve taken DS out of school for the last couple of days of the summer term often since he was in reception. He is Yr 6 now so we haven’t this year and won’t going forward but in earlier primary school, I don’t see the issue. It can save £800-1000 for missing 2 days of colouring in. There is generally no active learning happening in the last couple of days. Go and enjoy your holiday!

Mademetoxic · 14/04/2024 10:22

It is really annoying when i go away on holiday during term time and seeing children around when they should be at school....

ELW12 · 14/04/2024 10:22

Cocothecoconut · 14/04/2024 10:20

Be honest it’s not for an ‘educational/religious’ trip
its to lie in the sun for a week

@Cocothecoconut where did I say it was for an educational or religious trip?

OP posts:
Cocothecoconut · 14/04/2024 10:20

Be honest it’s not for an ‘educational/religious’ trip
its to lie in the sun for a week

Shinyandnew1 · 14/04/2024 10:17

I’d do it- and I did-back in the days where fines for state-school children weren’t given.

I wouldn’t ask the teacher for work, though you could find out what they are planning to do that week eg if it’s money, you could do some work on coins with her, or if it’s learning about how plants grow-take a book on that to share. Otherwise, she could keep a holiday diary and write a sentence about what you do each day and read some of her reading book. I wouldn’t worry too much though!

ReadtheReviews · 14/04/2024 10:13

I'd do it any age under year 9. Former teacher. Life experience just as important.

MariaVT65 · 14/04/2024 10:11

Honestly op, just book the holiday and don’t give it a second thought :)

ELW12 · 14/04/2024 10:11

ChaosAndCrumbs · 14/04/2024 10:09

But this is a new law in England. In the 90s and early 00s, almost everyone went on holiday in term time at some point and miraculously none of us suffered. I don’t think it’s particularly disruptive, especially in Reception.

We’re in Wales and it’s a bit more lax here. Our school tend to say yes and recognise holidays are often educational experiences in themselves.

I do think it’s unnecessary to ask for work and, although what you’re saying to them is you appreciate the importance of education, in reality it’s not needed and causes more work for the teacher.

I think the whole holiday rule is unfair and a bit silly. It’s a blanket rule when in reality the children repeatedly missing school are not going on an annual holiday, they have parents who have issues or other key reasons to miss school (like SEN/ALN). I think it’s easy to forget it’s such a new (and slightly odd) enforcement of a rule and wasn’t really an issue. I think it was Gove who introduced them in 2013? (Happy to corrected as from memory) They were based on questionable data and, really, Gove’s inability to explore and discover the complex real reasons for low attainment at school.

Currently, it’s a bizarre juxtaposition that term time holidays are an issue in England, but less so elsewhere - and that, despite this, schools still seem to be having attainment issues, complex other problems and high absences. We can’t discount COVID as a big part of that, but neither can we discount other issues that were already there before (poor access to underfunded and CAHMS, lack of access to early intervention when parents struggle, lack of support for children with SEN/ALN, poverty etc.) It is, however, a useful way to get a small amount of extra funding as most parents will pay the fine.

I agree education is important, but not to the detriment of small amounts of normal, other experiences. Holidays are often beneficial, especially with the pressures faced by school children today. They’re also educational - and, for those which aren’t that educational, have social benefits. An annual holiday will not generally disrupt a child’s education to the point they can never catch up - especially in Reception.

This message is 👏🏼

OP posts:
CelesteCunningham · 14/04/2024 10:10

Great post @ChaosAndCrumbs.