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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be woken up to clean?

233 replies

tammym07 · 14/04/2024 01:40

I bring you this post after getting woken up at 1:15 am to go and clean up the dogs sick!

My OH is up, awake sitting in the living room, having a beer and watching TV. Just half an hour ago he comes upstairs and wakes me up to tell me the dog has been sick on the living room floor, it stinks and there is no way he will clean it up.

I gets out of bed, goes down, cleans up the sick. I don't speak, as the dogs already too excited to see me, I'm not impressed with getting woken up and I haven't got the energy for a conversation.

OH then proceeds to say 'I don't know how you can clean that up' I grunt something about having no choice, he then complains that there's no need for me to be an a*se about it. (I will note there wasn't much sick, the dog wasn't feeling ill in anyway and didn't need my attention.)

AIBU to feel it's rude to wake someone up just because you don't want to clean it up yourself? I don't enjoy cleaning it up any more than he would. He also knows I've not been well and really in need of some rest.

Now here I am unable to sleep cause I'm too annoyed. He Never hesitates to wake me up over absolutely anything. He however, goes in a bad mood if he gets woken up when having a nap in the middle of the day on the sofa and one of the children make a noise! Angry

OP posts:
Apolloneuro · 14/04/2024 05:26

I’m unable to deal with sick (can deal with poo no problem).

However, I’d never wake my husband up in this situation. I’ve got to admit I couldn’t clean it up. I’d chuck loads of kitchen paper on it, put an upside down washing up bowl over and go to bed.

grinandslothit · 14/04/2024 04:15

He thinks you're staff. Do you really want to put up with that?

AssassinsEyebrow · 14/04/2024 04:14

LTB.

Seriously

JustBrowsingTheWeb · 14/04/2024 04:13

Leave him.

LynetteScavo · 14/04/2024 04:10

Under the circumstances you were not arsey.- I would have been arsey and told him to fuck off and not got out of bed.

Even if he really couldn't deal with it he could have gone to bed and asked you in the morning very, very nicely if you could please, please clean it up. And then thanked you profusely.

salsmum · 14/04/2024 04:02

I take it you haven't got kids??? I doubt he'd ever deal with baby puke or nappy changes.

justanotherrandomperson · 14/04/2024 04:02

What? Why does he treat you this way? Why does he feel that he doesn't need to respect you at a bare minimum or even cherish you as his life partner?

I'm sorry, but this would genuinely make me question whether I wanted to spend the rest of my life with such a selfish buffoon. No-one likes cleaning up vomit, but even if he were physically incapable of cleaning it himself, he could have left it until the morning rather than disturbing your sleep. Decent people don't behave this way; your OH sounds pathetic and unworthy of you.

dapsnotplimsolls · 14/04/2024 03:59

Twat.

JurassicFantastic · 14/04/2024 03:59

I would honestly leave him and I don't say that lightly.

Even if I had a live in housekeeper I wouldn't wake them in the night to deal with a job I could do myself - that would be really disrespectful. This man sees you not just as his servant but as a servant who doesn't deserve respect.

Why didn't you say no when he woke you and tell him to do it himself? If one of my teenagers had woken me for that I'd have refused to get up, pointed out I wasn't their maid and told them to clean it themselves. If I could do that with a (teenage) child, I can only imagine that the reason you didn't with your DH is that there would be some level of repercussions if you did - which is controlling and abusive.

There are massive red flags all over this post. I seriously wouldn't be going back to sleep - I'd be packing his or my bags.

betterangels · 14/04/2024 03:58

What an absolute bastard of a man. Is this the first time ge has shown you who he is and how much contempt he has for you?

Listen and act accordingly.

Every time I think I've read about the worst in men, MN proves me wrong.

GrumpyPanda · 14/04/2024 03:56

There's something very badly wrong in your relationship if your first instinct on being woken up for this ludicrous demand was to go along with it. What would have happened if you'd told him to fuck off and rolled over?

SnapdragonToadflax · 14/04/2024 03:48

Why didn't you just say no? What would have happened?

MrsTerryPratchett · 14/04/2024 03:45

You're unreasonable to clean up, take his shit and not immediately initiate divorce proceedings.

Delphina17 · 14/04/2024 03:40

That's completely unacceptable, even if the dog was yours!! It's only a bit of sick... why couldn't he clean it up himself????!!

Does he have an illness that makes him especially nauseous?

Please wake him up early and tell him since you're sleep deprived because he woke you up in the middle of the night, you don't feel well as a result and need a lie in. If he makes a fuss about it he's a selfish pig.

MonsieurSpade · 14/04/2024 02:55

That’s just awful OP.
He sees you as staff!

TotHappy · 14/04/2024 02:42

Fucking , that is BEYOND selfish! How can he possibly justify it to himself! What. The. Actual. Fuck.

Justanything86 · 14/04/2024 02:22

I'm actually a bit worried you felt you had to get up and do it op. What would have happened if you didn't? I think it's actually quite abusive and suggests he doesn't really see you as a real person, you're just his servant aren't you?

OhYoko · 14/04/2024 02:18

Fuck. That.

Justanything86 · 14/04/2024 02:14

Thursa · 14/04/2024 01:48

I would spitefully enjoy ruining every one of his naps I could.

This

Luckycloverz · 14/04/2024 02:12

That's annoying then, I'm guessing he'll try sleeping late in the morning if he's still up watching TV.

Make sure you wake him up extra early just to let him know the dog hasn't been sick again and seems to be feeling better now 😌

therealcookiemonster · 14/04/2024 02:11

I would be waking him up with a klaxon at 5am this morning and from every nap he has from now until the time when your divorce is finalised.

what a twat

Wallywobbles · 14/04/2024 02:10

Why the fuck don't you rip the entitled wanker a new one. Explain in any way this hard of thinking boy child will understand if he ever wakes you up again, except to save your life, he will regret it in every imaginable way.

tammym07 · 14/04/2024 02:06

And no missing information, not just my dog. We all wanted a dog, in fact he chose the dog. I am happy to take care of the dog but in no way has it ever been a case of it's just my dog and my responsibility.

OP posts:
tammym07 · 14/04/2024 02:04

I am furious about it. I could understand if he was concerned that dog was ill or something, which was my thought as I was going downstairs that he must be worried about the dog. That was absolutely not the case, he just didn't want to clean it up.

I can't switch off from it now!

OP posts:
Luckycloverz · 14/04/2024 01:59

Is there any missing info here like they're your dogs or you were the one who wanted to get them so do the daily care etc?

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