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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be woken up to clean?

233 replies

tammym07 · 14/04/2024 01:40

I bring you this post after getting woken up at 1:15 am to go and clean up the dogs sick!

My OH is up, awake sitting in the living room, having a beer and watching TV. Just half an hour ago he comes upstairs and wakes me up to tell me the dog has been sick on the living room floor, it stinks and there is no way he will clean it up.

I gets out of bed, goes down, cleans up the sick. I don't speak, as the dogs already too excited to see me, I'm not impressed with getting woken up and I haven't got the energy for a conversation.

OH then proceeds to say 'I don't know how you can clean that up' I grunt something about having no choice, he then complains that there's no need for me to be an a*se about it. (I will note there wasn't much sick, the dog wasn't feeling ill in anyway and didn't need my attention.)

AIBU to feel it's rude to wake someone up just because you don't want to clean it up yourself? I don't enjoy cleaning it up any more than he would. He also knows I've not been well and really in need of some rest.

Now here I am unable to sleep cause I'm too annoyed. He Never hesitates to wake me up over absolutely anything. He however, goes in a bad mood if he gets woken up when having a nap in the middle of the day on the sofa and one of the children make a noise! Angry

OP posts:
imforeverblowingbuttons · 14/04/2024 08:51

That's an awful thing to do. So basically he's too important to clean dog sick but you are not.

I would wake him anytime he naps and say 'don't be an arse about it!'

Or get rid

everythinglooksbetterpaintedblack · 14/04/2024 08:49

He has shown you who he is.

Pipsquiggle · 14/04/2024 08:48

This just has grim all over it.

Does he do anything for you?

Do you have DC together? I am assuming you aren't married

Do you think this man is a good role model to your DC?

Please reread your post as if it was happening to a friend. What would you say to her?

There are so many unpleasant insinuations in your relationship.

Grar · 14/04/2024 08:47

death by a thousand cuts

DoYouSmokePaul · 14/04/2024 08:45

I can’t believe you did it! I would have laughed in DH’s face and gone back to sleep. Literally what the fuck?! What if you were away for a few days, would he just leave the sick there to fester? What an absolute baby.

LaWench · 14/04/2024 08:45

How the fuck are women accepting this type of shit from their men?

Nesbi · 14/04/2024 08:44

i found this genuinely shocking to read.

the only time either of us have woken the other in vaguely similar circumstances is when one of the kids has been sick on themselves/in their bed and we’ve both had to both get involved so that one can deal with the child while the other sorts out the bedding.

The idea of waking someone up to clean up dog sick so you can sit back down and just ..watch them (!) is just absolutely unthinkable. I’m so sorry you are living with someone like that. How could you ever look at them and feel anything other than contempt.

InTheUpsideDownToday · 14/04/2024 08:42

JurassicFantastic · 14/04/2024 03:59

I would honestly leave him and I don't say that lightly.

Even if I had a live in housekeeper I wouldn't wake them in the night to deal with a job I could do myself - that would be really disrespectful. This man sees you not just as his servant but as a servant who doesn't deserve respect.

Why didn't you say no when he woke you and tell him to do it himself? If one of my teenagers had woken me for that I'd have refused to get up, pointed out I wasn't their maid and told them to clean it themselves. If I could do that with a (teenage) child, I can only imagine that the reason you didn't with your DH is that there would be some level of repercussions if you did - which is controlling and abusive.

There are massive red flags all over this post. I seriously wouldn't be going back to sleep - I'd be packing his or my bags.

Agree completely.

You are worth so much more than he thinks of you.
Start the process to get out of this relationship.

unsync · 14/04/2024 08:39

Keep the dog, bin the husband.

pootlin · 14/04/2024 08:37

This man needs divorcing,

paulwellerisinthebuilding · 14/04/2024 08:35

Whytoodee · 14/04/2024 01:53

Out of order. If there was lots of sick and he'd already attempted to clean it and failed and woke you to help him, I'd understand. But this is lazy. No way I'd have done it.

Edited

Failed? Do you mean fuck it up?

WoodBurningStov · 14/04/2024 08:31

I'd have cleaned up the sick and dumped it in his lap ( well maybe not), but I sure as hell wouldn't have cleaned it up in the first place.

Have a long hard think about how little this man gives a shit about your well being! What a complete arse/

Angelsrose · 14/04/2024 08:28

That would be the end of the relationship for me. Why do you think you should put up with it? There are so many men out there getting away with so much! It is really very startling. There is no reason why you should clean up rather than your partner, he sounds worryingly entitled.

tellmewhenthespaceshiplandscoz · 14/04/2024 08:26

cariadlet · 14/04/2024 01:42

What a lazy, entitled, controlling pig.

Is there anything positive about living with this man child? Any good reasons not to kick him out?

As ever, first post nails it.

I'm sorry you like with such a horrible man, OP Sad

pinkfondu · 14/04/2024 08:24

Is this the straw op?

cariadlet · 14/04/2024 08:23

I really wish posters would stop giving the op ideas for taking revenge when they have no idea what his reaction would be.

You could be encouraging her to do something which could put her at risk.

Much better for the OP to contact Women's Aid for some sensible advice.

Tangelablue · 14/04/2024 08:21

Gingernaut · 14/04/2024 01:54

I would get rid of the dog

He has abdicated all responsibility for it to you and was happy to leave you to do something he wouldn't

Secondly, I would seriously consider separation/divorce

This selfish arse just woke you up in the middle of the night to do something

WTAF????

Start preparing to leave

Getting rid of the dog was my first thought. Can't believe he was annoyed at you for not being over joyed at being woken up to do something he wouldn't do himself. I'm guessing he sees himself as much more important than everyone else in the house

Anon9898 · 14/04/2024 08:20

It happens to me to. If we have people coming I'm am frequently woken up at 6am even earlier to make sure the house is tidy enough.

CommentNow · 14/04/2024 08:17

Am I right to think that he also makes you make all the big decisions and organising of the kids and pet welfare...vaccinations, check ups etc? Does he also drink regularly?

Most men I knowndont staybup til gone 1 in the morning drinking alone. Will he also sleep in and leave the morning dog walk and childcare to you?

ISpyNoPlumPie · 14/04/2024 08:13

I can’t begin to imagine how I would respond if my DH did this to me because it would never happen - it has never happened, not the exact scenario but also not anything similar. The fact he asked and the fact you did it suggests this isn’t a healthy, loving, or even a particularly safe relationship.

I’m only chiming in to add to the voices saying it’s not normal, most relationships aren’t like this and you shouldn’t have to put up with it. I can’t say what you should do about it because that depends on your circumstances. If you couldn’t say no to him (or in fact be very angry with him for having the audacity to wake you), what are you in a position to do?

Sharptonguedwoman · 14/04/2024 08:10

Send the children in to wake him up in the morning. Ans what is a fully grown man doing having naps in the middle of the day?

Seriously, when you've calmed down. I think you need a chat about reasonable behaviour.

Catopia · 14/04/2024 07:58

What he did was completely unacceptable, and you need to tell him that. I think my response would be karma. If you are awake and he is not, I suggest that you hide the remote, any remaining beer, and his car keys in the back of your car. Wake him up and give him a list of chores that you do not want to do. I would start with the tasks that he has been avoiding for at least 6 months - putting up that shelf? Jet washing the patio? The more disgusting the better though. If he complains, tell him that if he thought 1am to do cleaning was a reasonable request, 8am to do what you are asking straightaway shouldn't even be questioned. Don't give the stuff back until he's done them.

WickedSerious · 14/04/2024 07:51

No more lie ins for him until 2034.

CaptainMyCaptain · 14/04/2024 07:50

I would get rid of the dog

Keep the dog get rid of the man.

Justcallmebebes · 14/04/2024 07:49

Fuck that

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