Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be woken up to clean?

233 replies

tammym07 · 14/04/2024 01:40

I bring you this post after getting woken up at 1:15 am to go and clean up the dogs sick!

My OH is up, awake sitting in the living room, having a beer and watching TV. Just half an hour ago he comes upstairs and wakes me up to tell me the dog has been sick on the living room floor, it stinks and there is no way he will clean it up.

I gets out of bed, goes down, cleans up the sick. I don't speak, as the dogs already too excited to see me, I'm not impressed with getting woken up and I haven't got the energy for a conversation.

OH then proceeds to say 'I don't know how you can clean that up' I grunt something about having no choice, he then complains that there's no need for me to be an a*se about it. (I will note there wasn't much sick, the dog wasn't feeling ill in anyway and didn't need my attention.)

AIBU to feel it's rude to wake someone up just because you don't want to clean it up yourself? I don't enjoy cleaning it up any more than he would. He also knows I've not been well and really in need of some rest.

Now here I am unable to sleep cause I'm too annoyed. He Never hesitates to wake me up over absolutely anything. He however, goes in a bad mood if he gets woken up when having a nap in the middle of the day on the sofa and one of the children make a noise! Angry

OP posts:
BooBooDoodle · 15/04/2024 18:24

He’s a pig. I would have shoved the kitchen roll or whatever you used to clean up the sick under his bloody pillow. Next time he falls asleep rattle a wooden spoon in a pan next to his head and see how he likes it. Disrespectful.

AllyArty · 15/04/2024 18:22

What a jerk. You deserve to be treated better.

BlueFlowers5 · 15/04/2024 18:18

What are you OP, a maid? Lazy DP.

azlazee1 · 15/04/2024 17:57

I would just say no - I'm sleeping, leave me alone.You give in to these things and they'll just keep happening.

DragItBack · 15/04/2024 17:52

The guy obviously has shown what he thinks of you and your worth. Tell him to go find somewhere dog free to live

Spoonthief · 15/04/2024 14:11

cariadlet · 15/04/2024 05:29

Because they don't show what pigs they are at first, otherwise none of them would have wives or girlfriends.

They start off by being charming and once they have caught a woman, they gradually erode her confidence and feelings of self worth.

It's only when people on the outside catch a glimpse of her life and say that it's wrong, that women start to realise that they're in an abusive relationship.

I can't believe how many posters on this thread don't seem to understand the dynamics when they're so well know. There's also been some unhelpful victim blaming. Only those women who have been in abusive relationships themselves seem to understand that saying no isn't always an option.

OP, I hope that you have RL family or friends to talk to you and that you start thinking about how you can leave this piece of shit.

Show quote history

Exactly this.
Most people don’t understand the dynamics of abuse.
More often that not, the woman can’t “ just leave” and it’s unsafe to say “no”.

cariadlet · 15/04/2024 05:29

Concannon88 · 14/04/2024 23:18

Why are so many women married to pigs like this?

Because they don't show what pigs they are at first, otherwise none of them would have wives or girlfriends.

They start off by being charming and once they have caught a woman, they gradually erode her confidence and feelings of self worth.

It's only when people on the outside catch a glimpse of her life and say that it's wrong, that women start to realise that they're in an abusive relationship.

I can't believe how many posters on this thread don't seem to understand the dynamics when they're so well know. There's also been some unhelpful victim blaming. Only those women who have been in abusive relationships themselves seem to understand that saying no isn't always an option.

OP, I hope that you have RL family or friends to talk to you and that you start thinking about how you can leave this piece of shit.

Concannon88 · 14/04/2024 23:18

Why are so many women married to pigs like this?

Catsmere · 14/04/2024 22:38

Glad to hear you’re getting away from him, OP.

poetryandwine · 14/04/2024 21:19

Get strong and stay strong, OP. It sounds like you have taken some important first steps. Those are the hardest.

Keep coming back here if you need support, because you deserve better

ohthejoys21 · 14/04/2024 20:14

Waking you up to clean the dog sick I would class as abusive. I don't think you could do much worse than him.

JollyHolly30 · 14/04/2024 19:55

You're allowing him to treat you like an absolute mug. Have more respect for yourself.

Original poster
tammym07 · 14/04/2024 19:52

I mean it is by far from being the only issue.

OP posts:
Original poster
tammym07 · 14/04/2024 19:51

@RedHelenB I am in the process of planning and I am already getting help professionally as this is by far the only issue.

OP posts:
RedHelenB · 14/04/2024 19:46

tammym07 · 14/04/2024 19:39

For those asking why I cleaned it, in all honesty, I got up and cleaned it simply because I knew that would be the easiest option for me.

Those who predicted he would spend today sleeping, are also correct.

So what are your plans going forward? Carry on as things are or leaving your "dp"?

Original poster
tammym07 · 14/04/2024 19:39

For those asking why I cleaned it, in all honesty, I got up and cleaned it simply because I knew that would be the easiest option for me.

Those who predicted he would spend today sleeping, are also correct.

OP posts:
ChocolatePodge · 14/04/2024 19:23

If he tried that again he'd find that sick in his bed😂

CammyChameleon · 14/04/2024 19:19

That's nasty, he treated you like a skivvy.

If it was a case of a really sick pet or child covering themselves and a large area in sick/poo, and the awake partner woke the sleeping partner so that one could clean the carpet/furniture/bedding while the other bathed the pet/child, I think that's ok as it's teaming up to sort the grossness out as quickly as possible.

Gingernaut · 14/04/2024 17:43

Again, if the OP could rehome the dog safely, she has more options when she leaves

As the husband/partner is an abusive piece of shit, the dog will suffer at his hands in his efforts to make the OP stay

TheYoungestSibling · 14/04/2024 17:38

@tammym07 what would have happened if you had refused to get out of bed at that time?

If he would have got angry, and you're even a bit scared of him, that would be a cause for concern.

If he would harrumph about it then but be ok the following day it's different.

Only you know if this is a pattern of behaviour. Please take any steps necessary to keep you safe.

QueenBitch666 · 14/04/2024 17:00

It never ceases to amaze me that some women put up with vile useless men
Your bar must be in the gutter

QueenBitch666 · 14/04/2024 16:57

Gettingbysomehow · 14/04/2024 07:30

Sorry I wouldn't live with that. He sounds like a pig.

Less of the animal slurs
Pigs don't behave like abusive pieces of shit

qotsa · 14/04/2024 14:37

Gingernaut · 14/04/2024 01:54

I would get rid of the dog

He has abdicated all responsibility for it to you and was happy to leave you to do something he wouldn't

Secondly, I would seriously consider separation/divorce

This selfish arse just woke you up in the middle of the night to do something

WTAF????

Start preparing to leave

Why does the dog have to be punished for the lazy arse husband 😯

ontheflighttosingapore · 14/04/2024 14:24

Gingernaut · 14/04/2024 01:54

I would get rid of the dog

He has abdicated all responsibility for it to you and was happy to leave you to do something he wouldn't

Secondly, I would seriously consider separation/divorce

This selfish arse just woke you up in the middle of the night to do something

WTAF????

Start preparing to leave

That would be really nice for the dog would t it wtf ?

ontheflighttosingapore · 14/04/2024 14:23

Your husband is an arsehole. What would have happened if you said no ?

Swipe left for the next trending thread