To not want to give up my day off?

I think you know YABU. However I also recognise how much stress and upset this must be causing for all of you, and a day off to meet with a friend for coffee and possibly vent to someone not emotionally involved about the situation was probably a much needed and looked forward to escape for you.

It does sound to me like more should be being done for this child if the school are being allowed to pressurise them and he needs 24/7 suicide watch. Do the actual parents have any kind of plan? What are they doing? How long is the 24/7 watch supposed to go on for? If it were me, I'd be asking those kind of questions and requiring the child's parents to sort out what will be happening for the future because this is not a long term tenable situation. I'd probably give up this day off for him but make clear that this is going to be an agreement for this day only and you won't commit for the future. I'd also be asking why his own mother isn't doing it.

And just out of interest, how does anyone actually stop a person committing suicide?

Exactly. And yet DP seems quite happy to allow OP to shoulder that responsibility alone on a regular basis.

They’re not married. And if the DP leaves OP because OP wants to go to her pre-arranged plans on her annual leave after facilitating her DP to play football every Saturday by taking care of his son, then I think OP is better off without him.

You have very strong opinions on this.

And you have anti-step-mum opinions on every DSC related thread.

But you don’t know how OP feels about the Saturdays. She brought it up to display evidence to another poster that she does care about her stepson, so why is it forming part of the argument? Posters are inferring meaning from it when she hasn’t given any.

A red line in what way ? OP watches son regularly while DP goes to football. But she’s expected to give up her plans on her one day off. The childs’ parents should be sorting out care for this very vulnerable and troubled child, not passing him around like an inconvenient package.

OP your best bet is to make a formal declaration that you can't cope with all this, it seems to have worked for SS's mum. And just out of interest, how does anyone actually stop a person committing suicide?

And there’s plenty of people supporting her initial preference to go out too. ‘Randoms’ on an internet forum will likely disagree with each other, and it’s in the very fabric of an internet forum to direct OP’s what to do. OP, I’m sure, is well aware of this.

I would. I’d also lock away or hide any paraphanlia that DSS could use (knives, medicines, ropes, car keys and whatever else) and keep my phone on me ready to call 999 in an instant.

You have a very bizarre definition of lying. OP clearly says that the stepson’s acute suicide ideation, requiring him to be with someone at all times, started a few nights ago. So what has been occurring on Saturdays, with or without football, over time does not have anything to do with this particular issue. Nor do you know how OP feels about that as a separate subject.

I think OP watches son while DP goes to football.

You have very strong opinions on this. Would you be willing to end your marriage over it?

This would be a red line for me.

Have you asked yourself why his mother isn’t expected to step in, but OP is ? This isn’t about ‘coffee’. It’s about expecting your partner to cope alone with your own suicidal child - and all the possible ramifications of that. And it seems that OP already steps up plenty. A child with mental health problems so serious that he needs constant supervision because of suicide risk shouldn’t be passed around like a parcel. It’s up to his actual parents to make sure he’s properly supported.

This for me - it's one day and your partner sounds like he could really do with the support. Invite friends over - if she's a good friend she would understand - bring coffees/takeaway whatever

'Needs to go into the office'. If that is true, and his employer would not make one exception, then that is a very cruel boss. However good the relationship is between the OP and the DS, would be better if the DP was at home. Regardless of whether the OP goes out for a coffee.

What do you think about her dp going to football every Saturday leaving the OP to watch her stepson? Why do you expect more from the OP than the child's parents?
I hope, for once, that I get an honest answer.

I'm aghast at some commenters on this thread.

How utterly sad that a step parent is more concerned with a coffee date with a friend than if her step son kills himself. And commenters agreeing.

Seriously?

I’m at a loss to understand why her partner would put OP in this position. And why she’s coming in for so much flak here. This is not her child, it’s her partners’. And by the sound of it he has serious mental health problems. Has her partner even asked OP if she feels equipped to deal with the situation alone ? What if something happens on her watch ? This isn’t just a case of a SM being asked to supervise a child - he’s a suicidal child. The situation could unexpectedly escalate, and the OP could very well find herself involved in traumatising events, or possibly even held responsible as he’s a minor.

The boy’s own mother has seemingly been allowed to dump him because she can’t cope. But OP is expected to ? MNs hatred of step parents has reached dizzying new heights here.

He'd be daft to dump her wouldn't he? She's the reason he still gets to go to football every Saturday. Tell me, what does the OP supporting her stepson every Saturday while her dp skips off to football, show about her character?

A couple of people have mentioned dad taking the son to football.

Why can’t the mum do it. I’m sorry but saying she ‘cant cope with it’ is not on. She clearly doesn’t care as much as you guys do. He been out of his own mums sight for a month! She can spend a few hours with him surely

Where have I told OP what to do?

Yet, you are also telling the OP what to do.

I would give up my day for a stranger in this situation. Let alone a child that I knew. You’re massively unreasonable and, dare I say, not showing a very nice side of your character. If I was your partner and knew about your hesitation, I’d be dumping you in seconds.