To not want to give up my day off?

I agree.

OP if you are in a good relationship then surely you want to be a partnership ? Yes this lad is primarily is your DH and his ex’s responsibility but in this instance you have been asked for help - is it the end of the world for you cancel coffee with your mate in order to help your DH?

Sometimes shit happens and it’s the decent thing to do to help people when they are in need.

I also agree with the poster who said if this was the other way round and it was OP who had asked her DH to cancel his coffee plans the posters telling her it wasn’t her problem and to go for the coffee would have something very different to say !

Fuck me, I'd do that for any child in that situation, it is only one day! One day and all you have planned is going for a coffee?

I think if it was me and it involved a vulnerable young person who I’d known and cared for 7 years that I would postpone the coffee. He sounds quite vulnerable at the moment and the con sequence of not staying with him would be horrific. Otherwise your partner is goi g to have to have a day off work to do it - which seems frustrating when he only has to go j to the office once a month and the wfh set up obviously allows him to support his son for the set of the time. At times like this everyone needs to work as a team and I’m sure you’ll ant to be part of that.

Oh I spotted that, also noticed it went from how the OP needed time to relax and recharge but then went on to discuss her dp. Who's need to relax and recharge is obviously far greater than the OP's.
I think the OP needs to go and meet up with this friend she hasn't seen for a while because this is her life too and I can imagine she is struggling also. I think her dp needs to be working very hard to try to ensure the OP doesn't feel under any pressure. That is what a loving dp would do. That's what I would do. He can at the very least arrange carers leave for his one day in the office OR swap the day. He needs to make sure the OP gets that time with her friend though.
I am really struggling to understand why so many women on here expect more from stepmothers than the child's actual parents. I will never understand why. Even if its the 'bitter ex wives club' surely they have more self respect than to expect their exes new partner to do more parenting than them?

Edited for appalling spelling

So do you have to take AL once a month now to keep an eye on your DSS for the day that DP goes in to work? He needs to have a convo with his workplace, and with CAMHS because if you have 20 days AL a year 12 days that is Not On.

Or drop DSS at his mother's where he will not be alone and can help with childcare.

@bellezarara wrong post quoted.

Alright, I’ll let you all have this one. @Lovelysausagedogscrumpy @bellezarara @SchadenfreudeIstMeinMittelname and @Iaskedyouthrice etc.

OP should just go out and enjoy her day off with her friend.

I am a step mother of many many years - I don’t come here to bash step mothers. Never ever.

I haven’t been dishonest anywhere for you to need my honestly now. I also haven’t said I don’t think the OP needs some time away from this to relax. Literally…read the first line of what you quoted back at me.

I’m not holding the SM to a higher standard. There are issues with Mum’s ability to care for her son so she doesn’t figure in the equation. Dad cannot be home because he has to go into the office one day per month and this is it. I would do this as a favour to my partner, if not for the child’s sake.

This has nothing to do with my thoughts on step parents generally.

I wondered this too. If op and her dp were both working, what happens then? And that has probably happened before on his office day.

@justbecool25 please could you clarify what would happen? Because I’m sure he’s got a solution, so why can’t he use that same solution when you’re off but busy?

@justbecool25 could your friend come to you for coffee? Just explain you need to be at home.

I don't think it's your responsibility but I do think it's pretty cold to refuse to help out in the circumstances.

YABU

I also recommend that you contact his care team ASAP. Like PP have said, he may benefit from closer supervision and maybe a change in the treatment he is receiving.

Unbelievable!! No you trot on and have a lovely coffee and a good old gossip with your friend and a good old rummage round the shops.

I mean what could possibly go wrong !!

Blimey OP, what a nightmare you are living in. I can well imagine you need a couple of hours with a friend over coffee for support. You are not a mental health professional, I actually am and I wouldn't be happy taking sole responsibility for a suicidal teenager either.
Does your partner's work have an option for carers leave? That would be my first line of approach for tomorrow. Then get your partner to campaign to whoever will listen re the deterioration in DSS mental health.

It’s one day. It’s not every week. I’d do that for a kid I didn’t know ffs.

The football season is August to May.

More laughing emojis. I don't get it. What's funny on this thread about a suicidal teenage boy? Are you less concerned about that and more concerned with trying to one up another poster?

@SchadenfreudeIstMeinMittelname

Your reply to @JustEatTheOneInTheBallPit is quite shocking and shows literally zero empathy for the OP's SS.

Can't your friend come to you for coffee so you can still have a catch up?

Why should she? It’s his child. Why does he get to enjoy his leisure tIme and stick to his plans while OP doesn’t ?

Given that it's her house and she is accommodating the full-time presence of a gloomy teenager, I think she's already cutting him an impressive amount of slack.

But it’s fine for poster’s in support of her having the day off to tell her what she needs to do? Got it.

It’s almost as if people are less likely to mince their words when the life of a child is the topic of discussion …

Why?
A laughing face on a thread about a teenager wanting to commit suicide is not good. Makes me think you don't actually care about that and just want to bash a stepmother.

😂😂😂

He’s not going through so much that it stops him going to football every week while OP watches his son. But she can’t go for a coffee with a friend on her day off because DP doesn’t want to ask his ex - the childs’ actual mother to help ? What would he have done if OP had been working ? Should she have to take time off work to look after his child ?