In terms of birthdays? Background: child in early 20’s left home 2+ years ago. Relationship is good and they live reasonably close. I’ve always made sure my children’s birthdays are celebrated, bought a cake, bespoke cake on special birthdays, blown up balloons, put up banners, parties, given presents and offered a family meal, day out or takeaway on their birthday. Since eldest left home I’ve made sure they and their partner both receive their card before their birthday so that they can open it on their birthday. I’ve modelled this practise of ensuring cards / gifts aren’t late regardless of how busy life is to my children for all occasions and all family / friends really because to me it shows that you care and can put the effort in for someone special to you.
However, since the eldest left they haven’t really done the same for me. I had a birthday a week ago and didn’t receive a card or gift despite seeing my child a few days before hand so some small forward planning on their part would have solved the problem. I received a happy birthday text on the day so they didn’t forget. Money isn’t an issue (100% confident on this) and they celebrate birthdays vigorously between themselves - surprises, gifts weekends away etc so I’m fairly certain it’s nothing to do with them not wanting to make a big deal about birthdays etc as they’ve gotten older. I feel pretty hurt to be honest, it’s not the 1st time I haven’t received anything on the day but it is the 1st time days have passed without a ‘I’ll bring your present next week’ etc.
My question is: is this normal now? Do adult children just not really put any importance on your birthday? Would you say something about being hurt or just let it go and accept it as what it is? For the record I won’t fall out with my child, I never have and never will.