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AIBU?

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Original poster

You should tell your family before announcing a birth on Facebook?

37 replies

ShropshireSam · 13/04/2024 22:06

My SIL announced the birth of my niece on Facebook but my DB hasn’t been in touch to let me know the baby has arrived.
AIBU to feel a bit sad about this?

I know Facebook is an easy way to announce this to everyone, but would have expected a quick message to let me know, especially as I don’t really use Facebook. It’s not as though he has many people to tell either.

Im sure my SIL’s brother will have been told before the FB announcement. And why the rush to get it on FB anyway.

YANBU - It is not appropriate to post about a birth on Facebook before telling your close family

YABU - it’s not necessary to inform close family before announcing a birth on facebook

OP posts:
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ShadesofPoachedSmoke · 14/04/2024 00:18

Copperoliverbear · 13/04/2024 23:39

I'd comment on FB how lovely i have a niece, it would have been nice to be told personally rather than find out on social media.

Nooooooooooo

Do NOT do this!

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 14/04/2024 00:14

ElloiseMcTavish · 14/04/2024 00:12

👍🏻

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😘

ElloiseMcTavish · 14/04/2024 00:12

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 14/04/2024 00:11

You're the one who keeps quoting me.

Seems you're pretty invested in my twee little comment yourself.

My first post wasn't PA at all. You're posts on the other hand....

Show quote history

👍🏻

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 14/04/2024 00:11

ElloiseMcTavish · 14/04/2024 00:08

You’re very invested in what you typed on an anon forum aren't you? Off you pop with your twee slightly passive aggressive comments made to another poster and undermining a post made asking for advice.

Show quote history

You're the one who keeps quoting me.

Seems you're pretty invested in my twee little comment yourself.

My first post wasn't PA at all. You're posts on the other hand....

ElloiseMcTavish · 14/04/2024 00:08

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 14/04/2024 00:05

I wrote it on a public website, not in invisible ink in a locked diary, so I imagine it was noticed. That's kind of the point really 😊

Show quote history

You’re very invested in what you typed on an anon forum aren't you? Off you pop with your twee slightly passive aggressive comments made to another poster and undermining a post made asking for advice.

TheFairyCaravan · 14/04/2024 00:05

When my Niece gave birth I found out via her friend congratulating her on Facebook. I was pissed off so I asked my mum why I’d not been told and she said “it wasn’t her news to share”.

The next day my niece text me to apologise that it’d found out via social media saying she’d hoped someone, like my sister or mother, would have told me. Neither of us understood why they hadn’t done it. It was just a breakdown in communication on a busy day. There was no hard feelings about it in the end.

Just speak to your brother about it.

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 14/04/2024 00:05

ElloiseMcTavish · 14/04/2024 00:02

Your twee little “baby snuggles” comments didn’t go un-noticed. HTH

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I wrote it on a public website, not in invisible ink in a locked diary, so I imagine it was noticed. That's kind of the point really 😊

ElloiseMcTavish · 14/04/2024 00:02

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 13/04/2024 23:59

Well the op wasn't told so 🤷‍♀️

She can either get on with life and enjoy being an auntie, or hold onto a grudge because she wasn't paid the proper amount of attention right after someone else gave birth.

I also never suggested that the baby was passed around, just had a cuddle with her aunt, but you go read what you want rather than what I wrote if it makes you feel better, HTH.

Show quote history

Your twee little “baby snuggles” comments didn’t go un-noticed. HTH

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 13/04/2024 23:59

ElloiseMcTavish · 13/04/2024 23:53

Maybe the OP and wider family should have been told first? Perhaps some aren’t on FB? Some of us don’t share everything on FB for goodness sake.

Not everyone enjoys baby snuggles and not every parent wants to pass their newborn around like a pass the parcel game. HTH 🙄

Edited
Show quote history

Well the op wasn't told so 🤷‍♀️

She can either get on with life and enjoy being an auntie, or hold onto a grudge because she wasn't paid the proper amount of attention right after someone else gave birth.

I also never suggested that the baby was passed around, just had a cuddle with her aunt, but you go read what you want rather than what I wrote if it makes you feel better, HTH.

ElloiseMcTavish · 13/04/2024 23:56

Copperoliverbear · 13/04/2024 23:39

I'd comment on FB how lovely i have a niece, it would have been nice to be told personally rather than find out on social media.

That’s just nasty.

ElloiseMcTavish · 13/04/2024 23:53

InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 13/04/2024 22:49

Maybe you need a newborn baby snuggle, if that sentence makes you so grumpy ☺️

Show quote history

Maybe the OP and wider family should have been told first? Perhaps some aren’t on FB? Some of us don’t share everything on FB for goodness sake.

Not everyone enjoys baby snuggles and not every parent wants to pass their newborn around like a pass the parcel game. HTH 🙄

Iscreamtea · 13/04/2024 23:50

Copperoliverbear · 13/04/2024 23:39

I'd comment on FB how lovely i have a niece, it would have been nice to be told personally rather than find out on social media.

Don't do that! Completely unnecessary to make them feel bad on a special day. Save it for a quiet conversation later if you really must say anything.

Iscreamtea · 13/04/2024 23:48

Are you sure they hadn't attempted to contact you first? It can be difficult if people are asking for news but you can't answer because family don't know yet.

Copperoliverbear · 13/04/2024 23:39

I'd comment on FB how lovely i have a niece, it would have been nice to be told personally rather than find out on social media.

supersonicginandtonic · 13/04/2024 23:09

I announced my baby's birth on Facebook. I have 6 siblings, partner has 5. That's a lot of phone calls.
After our parents that was the easiest way to let everybody know she'd been born.

heavencakes · 13/04/2024 23:03

If you have an issue it should be with your DB rather than SIL unless she posted to FB minutes after the birth giving him no chance to tell family.

How soon after birth did she post to FB?

MissTrip82 · 13/04/2024 23:01

Bit odd not to use the family what’s app group and presumably you’d been checking in to see how they were going so close to the end of pregnancy. I imagine SIL assumed your brother had told you.

Get rid of the bitterness now though - don’t let it spoil things.

chillidoritto · 13/04/2024 22:56

Baby snuggles my arse!

I think the OP has every reason to be a bit peeved!

Scarletttulips · 13/04/2024 22:55

I loved calling close relatives to let them know - used a phone box at the hospital!

It’s one of my greatest memories!!

Why would they want to miss out on that? Be sad for them.

Allthegoodnamesaregone1 · 13/04/2024 22:55

ShropshireSam · 13/04/2024 22:53

Close enough to be told personally yes

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Then I would absolutly bring it up to him when you see him.

Original poster
ShropshireSam · 13/04/2024 22:53

Allthegoodnamesaregone1 · 13/04/2024 22:46

How close are you to your brother?

To me you're either lose enough to tell him that upset you.

Or you're not close enough to actually be told personally.

Close enough to be told personally yes

OP posts:
InTheShallowTheShalalalalalalalow · 13/04/2024 22:49

saraclara · 13/04/2024 22:33

how can you be upset when you're going to get all those baby snuggles

🙄

Maybe you need a newborn baby snuggle, if that sentence makes you so grumpy ☺️

Allthegoodnamesaregone1 · 13/04/2024 22:46

How close are you to your brother?

To me you're either lose enough to tell him that upset you.

Or you're not close enough to actually be told personally.

TTPD · 13/04/2024 22:42

When did the baby arrive? Maybe SIL just assumed your brother will have told you already, and doesn't realise he hasn't got sorted enough to send a quick text.
Or maybe there's been some crossed wires and he's told your parents and think they will tell you, but they think he's telling you.

ScentlessAprentice · 13/04/2024 22:41

"Im sure my SIL’s brother will have been told before the FB announcement". Is it a competition as to who gets told first? Surely your SIL can tell whomever she wants, whenever she wants.

"Of course it’s a busy time, but not so busy that you don’t have time to be editing photos to post on FB apparently". Now you just sound bitter.

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