‘Mean girl’

I think you addressed it well with your DS- that sometimes you have to work with people who are less motivated etc. I suspect he has learnt more from this experience than he would have done if his team had won. The behaviour of the gurus was clearly annoying.

However I think you were wrong to bring this up with the other parent. Just bite your tongue, praise your DS and move on. Ultimately you weren't there so no idea what was said between the teams.

Harsh but honest!

What lesson have those girls learned?

Basically that sabotaging something and being unkind gets you what you want.

I'd be complaining to the leader about their behaviour - who do they think they are throwing things at other participants?

The way you have phrased it is such that overwhelming people will agree with you. It would be interesting to hear the other sides and also the reason behind why the parent did not expect her daughter to finish (and whether she has actually said that to her child or not). Not all disabilities are visible so there could have been reasons that most people would agree with it being unlikely for a child to finish but you aren’t taken those into account in your post.

The issue is a lot if people/kids don't take things seriously enough, as in.. at all.

Making allowances for people who are doing their very best, but struggling - of course. Making allowances for people who are deliberately sabotaging an otherwise enjoyable team activity (sitting down within reach of the finish line? Ffs) - absolutely not. I’d have been livid on behalf of my dc, too, op.

Do you have kids @Poostickers?

Turning out 'to watch a bunch of kids doing something so boring' is pretty much parenting. Swimming lessons, music recitals, the interminable dance shows, cross country... Most kids quite like seeing their parents cheering them on, though, (plus they need a lift!) so we do it.

TBH, I think you took the whole thing a bit too seriously.
After all, by the sounds of it, it was just a "for fun" kids speed-hiking event. It's not the olympics or even any sort of vaguely serious "sport".

That being said, it sounds like the girls were a bunch of silly little bitches. But really, girls of 12/13 are just "like that". They are very much "Team Girl" at that age, and certainly not going to be cajoled/bullied along by a pair of random boys. They probably did a sit-in because they were fed up of being chivvied by two lads they don't even know.

From your DSs POV, I can see it would be very annoying. But honestly, the world is full of annoying people, and people you just can't get along with. And the quicker you learn that lesson, the happier you'll be. I'd encourage him (and you) to just shrug it off.
And if this is a sport your DS wants to do seriously, find a club for it.

Yeah there’s definitely more to this story and you come across as insufferable tbh.

What about the girl's mum?

God, I don't think I can think of anything worse than having to turn out to watch a bunch of kids doing something so boring, I certainly can't imagine caring to this extent. I hope the OP has younger children or is planning to get a job soon because that teenage boy is going to soon find this type of smothering hideously embarrassing and there will be a huge hole in mums life. I'm cringing just reading all this wholesome jolly mum stuff. This is exactly why I always put career first, ultimately you can't live your life through a 12 year old boy unless you are a 12 year old boy.

Was this run by Scouts, Cadets or something like that?

My child did something similar - just five hours though - when they were 9, when a team needed someone to make up numbers. They weren't super-fit, or a great orienteer, so were under strict instructions (from me) to be enthusiastic and do no complaining.

They came home muddy and happy with a medal. A long walk shouldn't be that big a deal for generally healthy young people. There is too much encouragement of being very sedentary, so the comment was just giving a bit of counterbalance. The wall of encouragement to be immobile is itself toxic and bad for us all.

But what about the enjoyment of the kids who want to at least try and give it a good go. Not necessarily win, or even place.

But it's not a bit of fun if they are deliberately spoiling things for someone else

Those girls clearly didn't want to be with the boys , they wanted a day out with their friends

I think it's hard for a lot of people to imagine that kind of behaviour. I've witnessed it from boys and girls, so it's not a sex thing, it's a mentality thing.

Anyway, it’s certainly a bit of a conundrum. It would seem there is a branch of MNer who thinks sport and competitive events should be ‘just a bit of fun’ and those who don’t really want to to it should be humoured and accommodated at the expense of those who do

At the age of 12 it’s far more important that they have a good time than they win. In competitive sports humility and enjoyment are absolutely essential, any successful sportsperson would tell you that

I understand competitive sport and have 2 girls the compete in multiple sports.
The most important thing is still it's meant to be fun, inclusive and give opportunities to all.
Any event that takes place once a year and the organisers create teams of kids that haven't "learnt or practiced" is entry level at best.
If your son is more competitive than that you need to enter your own team

From the OP: “The mother who thought her daughter wouldn’t finish was delighted with her DD’s performance, and was amazed she had finished at all. Happily telling anyone in earshot that just finishing was more than she had hoped for and that her DD normally refuses to finish any physical activity and has never walked more than a couple of miles before.”

That’s not the attitude to enter a physical competition. The OP also mentioned that the other parent had said herself that she had hoped her daughter would be encouraged by the stronger team members. That’s fine for a regular activity but not for an event which is timed and effectively a race. It’s a very selfish attitude.

I’d also die before I berated the organisers who are likely volunteers and have 400 over bearing parents to please

Actually thinking about it I know an adult who quit doing those challenges because of the over-competitiveness. He told me that people want to carry as little weight as possible and will resort to even cutting out tags in their clothing! And that he was sick of arguing that they needed sustenance as camping was involved when his team mates said that bringing food was something unnecessary to carry. For a 2 day challenge!

I completely disagree that only children desperate to win should have taken part. What an awful attitude. Everyone would have had their own reasons for partaking

Also it sounds like one of those challenges where kids are sent off with a map and it’s something of a ‘treasure hunt’ to find clues to cross the finish line. So food would have been perfectly acceptable as they last several hours and breaks are encouraged. People can run OR walk but those things are very much meant to be about fun. I know adults who do them!

What this thread does show is a lack of understanding of those who are working well within their capacity for those who are stretching themselves. And this is where my P.E. trauma came from - you give it your all, people still expect more and sometimes you have nothing left to physically give but they still keep acting like yelling "come on! Try!" Is going to magically make you ten per cent more fit.

Agreed.

The girls didn't sit down to have a rest, or through laziness. They were very close to the finish line - they felt there was bullying and made a protest. Yes it was a power play, but with a reason.

I'd be looking more closely at the alleged bullying and lack of team spirit of the boys than making scathing personal comments about the girls.

The first May be don't leave people

second rule is you make sure don't go with people who are selfish and immature , moaners, faffers, and those just not up to the walk no matter how nasty sone people say you are being to achieve that goal - you don't allow anyone to ruin your day by their ( poor) behaviour and if they say that makes you nasty they are clearly warped

It was a daft event if you have no control over your team and there is no vetting of who takes part

An old club I was once part of we would sometimes have little controls over who came along so would look for brave volunteers to take the wasters

You were being unreasonable not because of a competitive nature but because the first rule of outdoor sports is you don't leave anyone behind and you go at the pace of your weakest member. You never leave someone on the hillside nor push past physical limits as that's generally when things happen when people are out of their depths.

Agree the girls shouldn't of been throwing food but if he enjoys hiking and mountaineering then he really needs to learn how you motivate others to ensure everyone gets back and not into situations

It sounds shit for everyone involved tbh. Participation/team sorting should be better organised.