to not want to subsidise my mum's furniture?

If you wanted to be treated as an adult then you should have coughed up your share of expenses, not offer for your mum to turn down. Give her a fair rent and don't think you have any say in what she spends it on. You may not want to subsidise her expensive taste in furniture, but she shouldn't be subsidising a grown adults living costs.

She can't afford the furniture because she's paying for your food and electricity!

If you pay her £200 a month towards your costs then that'll free up £200 of her own money to spend on furniture. You're not "buying her furniture", you're contributing towards your own costs like an adult.

You're going to get one hell of a shock when you move out if you're not paying anything towards bills, food or rent at the moment!

Add up the five years' of market rent, gas, electricity, food, council tax, water use and sewerage charge plus standing charge, ground rent/service charge, insurance, maintenance, servicing of boilers, purchasing of bed linen, carpets, curtains, crockery, appliances, lightbulbs, cleaning and cooking costs if you had moved into an unfurnished flat of your own/rental.

That's how much she's given you in your adult life so far. Bet it's far more than the cost of a posh sideboard.

You are being massively unreasonable. She has spent money on you when you are earning as an adult. Kindly managed when she could. Now she needs a contribution you are determining what she spends it on. If she hadn’t housed, fed you etc all these extra years she would have been able to afford her furniture. It’s her money. Leave her alone to do what she wants with it. Just pay what you owe her for rent/bills/food.

Because her expenses changed. It's irrelevant why.

OP is already viewing and putting offers in. Starting to pay keep now won't actually tip the balance into her not being able to move out, and if it does, that means she can't actually afford to.

I have to say I think people are being a bit hard on the OP. On paper, I can see that OP might seem a bit of a CF, but actually I don't think she is. Why is the mother choosing now to suddenly ask for expenses? OP is actually about to move out, and has been offering for years to pay, which the mother refused. Buying a house is an expensive business, with extra costs attached, and the mother almost seems to be sabotaging her daughter. I wonder if this is a way for the mother to stop the OP from moving out.

You're not subsiding your Mum's furniture, you're paying rent like a normal adult would. She can spend all the money on gin if she wants to.

Surprised at your entitlement. Give your mum money and she can spend it as she likes

Agree a rent and pay it. You've saved a fortune and it is immaterial if your mother puts the money you actually give her on a horse or piles it up in the street and sets light to it, as she'll still be buying your food/paying utilities (etc, etc)

Jesus Christ!

Of course you are being unreasonable!

If she wasn't subsidising you, she'd have money to spend on furniture.

Pay your way for gods sake, or move out.

Pay her rent and what she spends it on is up to her.

No sign of the OP. They really don't like being told they are unreasonable do they?

You're extremely unreasonable.
She originally said no to you paying her money, but her circumstances have changed so she's now said yes... As you said you'll be moving out soon it won't be for long so you should be grateful you've not paid up until now!
It's her choice to spend whatever she likes on whatever she wishes, how dare you say she should have spent less on a house!

Your mum has kindly subsidised you living at home for sone time, she now wants a bit more disposable cash so is asking for a contribution. Just agree a fair rent.

You're overthinking it saying you'll only buy groceries, that frees up cash in her bank which she can rightly spend on whatever she likes.

I actually think you're being very disrespectful saying she should only be buying basic furniture that is essential so you can live rent free.

Must have done then hun 🤣🤣🤣

Unbelievable that you refer to is as subsidising her furniture when at 25 you’ve never actually contributed to your own living costs. She is subsidising you and if you have saved a deposit, she is also subsidising your future house by not charging you rent. Many parents do not do this for their adult children.

Start buying your own food and pay your fair share of the bills.

So you are still living at home at 25, earning a wage, rent free, eating her food, not paying towards house bills or contributing to the wear and tear on her furniture and other household items and now complain about her asking you to contribute ? What she needs the money for is totally beside the point.

If you don't like it, move out and see how much rent disappears from your bank account then.

YAB massivelyU

What a surprise. An inflammatory post that the OP doesn’t come back to.

YABU. She doesn't have enough money for the furniture she wants because she's been subsidising you. I'm not suggesting you're obligated to make back payments as she did offer to have you free of charge, but you should agree something appropriate going forwards. It might be nice to offer something upfront too considering how much you will have cost her, it must be thousands of pounds if she's been feeding you as well as paying all bills.

You should be paying your way.
Your share of food and bills probably comes to something like £500 pm, so stop expecting your Mum to sub you now that you are a working adult.
I was quite shocked to read that you have lived rent and bill free for all this time, that you don't even pay for groceries, yet begrudge paying towards your mothers furniture when she requests it.
It doesn't matter what she would use your payments for, that's her business. If you were to give her a lump sum of say, £6000,that would still only allow her to break even in having you there for the last year. How much is she actually asking for?

YABU. You need to pay for rent and utilities.

Sounds like your mum is struggling with upkeep and trying to save face by blaming the furniture costs.

Do the right thing and pay at least £100 per week.

You’ve lived off her for long enough, time to pay her back for her generosity.

Pay your mum some rent and stop sponging off her. You're lucky you got away with her not charging you until now.

"I am more than happy to contribute towards the extra costs she experiences because I am living in her house,"

Great - and she can spend this extra money on furniture if she so chooses given that when you make payment it will be her money to do with as she pleases.

Yabu to dictate what your "keep" should be spent on by your mum. As others have said agree a fair amount you can pay monthly and then she is free to spend that as she pleases just like any other landlord would.

You've just been very lucky that she's been willing to let you continue living there for free for this long and now her circumstances have changed that also needs to change. Just like any other landlord needing to increase rent to cover increasing costs.

YABU. You need to pay her for your board and lodgings, you should have insisted previously rather than leaching off her. It’s none of your business how she spends it.

You need to pay housekeeping. What your mother spends the money on is up to her

Of course you are being unreasonable. You are an adult and would be paying your way for board and lodgings, not ‘subsidising furniture’. Your mum would then be spending her own money on what she ants to spend it on, rather than keeping her adult child.