To think dd aged 16 is too young to go away on holiday independently

I have not voted. I did it at 16. But a lot of water has gone under the bridge since then and I’m now in my 40s.

l think it very much depends not on how old your daughter is, but how mature she actually is.

Hmmm...possibly not.
It's funny cos I didn't jump to the 'they'll have sex regardless ' worry!
Or the hypocritical you did it comment! And actually it's probably safer as technology will allow her to contact you very easily, if needed, compared to 43 yrs ago!
My worry is how long she, andd you, have known her friends. If these were kids you had all known for a few years, you knew their families from school etc then I would probably say yes. Only knowing them for around 6mths I'd definitely be more wary.
Maybe if plans show thought etc I might consider it.

Yes, she's 16 and could chose to go, my friends ds left home the day he turned 16 and there was nothing they could do (no issues st home and he did it to protect/support his girlfriend who didn't have such a good family life).

Also they are in Scotland not El Salvador. If they were dappy and missed a train or something what’s the worst that would happen? If they are sensible teens who stay together, an adult has sense checked the plan and you are adamant no sex / single sex sleeping then I think definitely yes.

I only went with dds group because it was in another country.

Just make damn sure she knows how to stop herself from getting pregnant, just in case she does end up having sex.

@Glitterbaby17 what's the point?if they're going to have sex, what accommodation they've booked means nothing.

@Manthide unless they're staying with one of the groups family/friends I can't see how they're going to be able to book anywhere at 16 ?? Mm

what specifically are you worried about?

because yes, my initial thought was no bloody way, but thinking about it I did the same at her age & what is the actual problem?

Personally I wouldn't let my DD go away without an adult but can see I'm in the minority here! But I'm pretty sure mine wouldn't want to. She's only been up for going into town with friends for about a year. Covid got in the way of that part of her development I guess.

I left home at 17 but I do think things are different now.
The people calling you a hypocrite maybe don't get how different things are. I don't think you're a hypocrite- just a caring mum. Stick to your guns if that's your instinct. You know how mature or not your child is.

How would saying flat no play out? Does she then get to sit at home angry and resentful towards you while her pals go off on a fun bonding trip they will remember their whole lives? That would be a pretty hard core parenting decision. Not sure I would have the stomach for that scenario.

Dd very young for her year in age but sensible. Her (all female and also sensible) gang wanted to go abroad post gcse and planned it etc. As a parent group some of us were fine with it others not. In the end I went too but stayed 5 mins walk away. Dropped in on them once. They were fine but actually was lucky I was there as there were transport strikes in France on the day we came home which weren’t reported and I only knew about because of my lovely Airbnb lady. So they would have missed their flight home.

I guess it depends on how grown up she is. I went to work in France on my own for a month when I was 16. In a little hotel/restaurant. Found the job myself. Took the hovercraft to France solo, got on a train to Paris on my own, crossed Paris, got on another train.

But if she’s a young or irresponsible 16 then even just going with friends may be too much.

It would be a no from me.

I think it's too young!

I would let her, provided she and her friends shared their plan including providing evidence of some sort of accommodation would be happy to take a mixed group of 15 and 16 year olds. I know Scotland has a different education system but I'm not sure what the school leaving age is there. It may be that the presence of a Year 10 student is a stumbling block for places that would be happy to accept 16 year olds.

When DC1 finished GCSEs a couple of years ago, they went camping with three friends and had a great time, including repitching their tent in the middle of the night because of a storm. The campsite owners were happy to accommodate them but it had to be booked by a parent and contact details for all parents provided. The same group of friends - plus a couple of others - also stayed in an AirBnB that summer. One of the group booked it after contacting the owner and asking if they'd be willing to have a single set group of 16 year olds. The owner wanted contact with one of the parents but was happy to rent it to the group.

Being able to do those trips was a really positive experience for them. At 17, DC1 went to Europe with a friend and after A-levels the group that had stayed in an AirBnB at 16 went travelling in Europe.

I went to Spain with my boyfriend when I was 16 and lived to tell the tale. I think you're being very unreasonable to not let your daughter go to Scotland.

Whilst it is common for a lot of young people to get away with friends post GCSE, I'm not sure that I would have been happy with the situation you are describing TBH OP. Firstly that Scotland is a long way from where you live and also that you don't really know the friends that she is planning to go away with.

From what I recall my DS and a few of his friends went camping for a few days but they were long term friends and less than an hour from home. They built up to more ambitious trips after that . To add to what people are saying about hotels - DS certainly went to Travel Lodges aged 17 - when asked if they had any ID, they just said no and it was fine. This was in Belfast and London when going to concerts .

I think I would also be more apprehensive about a teenage girl than a boy . And given that I have a son, I feel bad saying that. Just feel that girls are more vulnerable .

I would not let her OP. Although, I am south Asian and not even sleepovers as children are allowed.

I would not let her until 18.

I think that's a bit harsh . There were a lot of things that a lot of us did growing up either as children or as young adults that we wouldn't want for our own children . Different times.

They can get around this by asking an 18 + year old friend to come by and check in for them. My daughter’s 17 year old friend who was not allowed to go away with her same aged friends lied that she was on an sleepover but really they had booked into a hotel and that’s how they did it. My daughter wasn’t there (thank goodness - it was awful) but was told the details by the friend.
Or they just get a more relaxed parent in the friendship group to do the check in.

She's old enough.

I went away at 16.

No. They are still very young. When I was at school we had three teen pregnancies as a result of two un supervised camping trips. I know as I went on one ( I grew up without caring parents and mainly in care ) I was with my boyfriend ( still my DH) and I know a few of my friends at the time said they felt pressured to do things they really didn’t want to to look cool. Not saying your DC will be like this but I would be careful

@Girliefriendlikespuppies my dc are now in their 20s but DS2 went on holiday with his mates when he was 16. He also went to Reading after GCSE results.

Mn is weird, I wonder how many of the responders saying yes I'd be completely fine with that plan have a 16yo...

16yo definitely can't check into hotels, my friends dd went to London with her bf when she was 17 and he was 18 and they wouldn't let her check in.

Op it's fine to say no if it doesn't feel right.

Probably different people responding.
Also, things do change in 12 months, there are places that 16 year olds can go unaccompanied (festivals, some hostels) that 15 year olds can't.
I don't think anyone here is saying they would allow a 16 year old jet across the world.

Is she hill smart, by which does she have the right kit, can she use a map and compass, does she know when to turn back? Does she know to leave her walking route with someone and to check in with them when she’s back? Hiking in Scotland can be quite hard core, the weather turns quickly and even experience walkers can find themselves in trouble.

I wouldn’t necessarily be worried about her going with friends, but I wouldn’t be so sure about her hill walking in Scotland without an experienced adult.