To think dd aged 16 is too young to go away on holiday independently

I was in a foster home with extreme restrictions on what I could and couldn't do as a teenager, I even needed to obtain prior permission from a senior member of staff to have my 13 year old brother enter the building. And despite this, when I wanted to stay at a hotel with my boyfriend, and at his parent's house, between the ages of 16 and 17, the answer was always, no you're not allowed to do that, but there isn't anything we can do to stop you legally. I even contacted the police to confirm that they would never become involved in a situation where a parent was aware of the location of a 16 year old but didn't agree that they should be there, unless there was any cause for concern. She is a child, but practically, unless she is prepared to physically restrain her, there isn't anything she can do.

Remember marriage is legal at 16 in Scotland without parental consent....😁

I went camping with a group of friends in Scotland when I was 16. Good times, then the tent flooded in the torrential Scottish rain and we spent the night shivering in a bus shelter.
I’d let her go, especially if they’re all in the cadets - they should be fine.

I lived on my own at 16...

For me it depends on the 16 year old. Are they sensible? Would they know what to do in any kind of emergency? Are they generally good at keeping in touch?
DS1 is 24 now but there’s no way I’d have let him go on holiday with his mates. He was a nightmare. I never knew where he was, he would never answer his phone, he was always out way past curfew. His mates were knobheads. I just didn’t trust any of them. DS2 is 16, totally different. Much more thoughtful. Always is where he said he’d be. Always answers his phone, lets me know if he’s going to be late home etc. His mates are far more sensible. So I have let him go off for a night or 2 with them.

We did Reading festival. A few kids went abroad my parents said no way until I was 18.

so I guess Scotland isn’t that different to Reading!

I think it’s totally normal to go away with friends at 16 - the post GCSEs friends break is quite a milestone.

Ask the friends round if you want to get to know them better. A local camping trip as a test is a good idea, as are some call in plans when they are in Scotland (I wouldn’t normally suggest thing, but with hillwalking safety checks make sense)

I am sure you are right that she isn’t terribly streetwise but in 2 years she’ll be leaving home, so she has to crack on and start building skills for that.

It’s less about stopping if she does want to have sex and more about having privacy/space if she doesn’t

There are flights and trains back to England from pretty much anywhere in Scotland so just make sure she has a bail out option if needed.

It would really depend on where they’re planning on hiking. It’s easy to find yourself somewhere pretty remote and transport links outside the central belt aren’t as straightforward as you might think.

I’d want to know where they’re planning on walking - eg the West Highland Way is popular and walkers tend to look out for each other but if they’re planning higher hills I’d be more cautious.

@Manthide

we need to let teenagers rule the world while they know it all 😂

let's face it, they couldn't do a worse job than those doing it now!!

yep academic ability does not equate with common sense!! Mind, the least academic one doesn't have any either 😂

I think you just have to think 'What can they possibly do on a few days away that they couldn't do locally? Theres really nothing. It's just a sleep over a bit further away, so a bit harder to go & pick them up. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I think I would suggest that the group have a weekend together camping/hiking together somewhere reasonably local first. If they get on and behave in a safe way and enjoy it, I would allow the trip to happen with some boundaries in place. But let them find out if they're going to want to kill each other somewhere where you can drive over and pick them up!

It's a no from me. I had quite a lot of freedom as a 16yo as our friendship group and I were very sensible. We survived, but that isn't good enough for my dc. We were in situations sometimes looking back that were dangerous and that we certainly couldn't handle - I'm obviously talking about men and booze. None of my 16yo's friendship group's parents would allow them to go on holiday together either. They camp fairly regularly, on farmland owned by one of the families, but even this is under review due to rural criminal activity there.

Went walking and youth hostelling with a bunch of friends after O levels, albeit 1974. Is the problem that these are new friends? Can you ask to meet them? Confirm sleeping arrangements-absolutely.

It's Scotland not Ayia Napa .

If you're really worried maybe you could plan a break in Scotland as well, but obviously not exactly where she is going. But honestly she sounds sensible and they will all have a lot of skills from cadets. There are flights and trains back to England from pretty much anywhere in Scotland so just make sure she has a bail out option if needed.

The hiking element is a bit unpredictable I guess. But in principle I’d be fine with it if she’s a sensible girl. Well, probably not FINE, in that I’d worry the entire time, but I’d still let her go 😂

I went abroad post GCSE myself, as did most of my friends.

My DD went abroad alone at just turned 16. Eldest DS did at 17. My younger two would have been an absolute liability at that age though.

Hi op, the thing which would worry me....as I suspect it does you too... is the hiking element. Do any of them have any experience with hill walking? First aid qualifications? Weather conditions can change so rapidly that even experience walkers can be caught out. I'd want to know more about walking routes and plans to be honest.

I think it depends on your DD. I went away age 17 with a group of girls to wales and they were more experienced than me, I found I was pressured into doing things I didn’t want to with strange boys. Because I was young and naive I couldn’t get myself out of it. I wasn't used to drinking so much, or saying no!
I wouldn’t let my children go away if they were like me and I didn’t know their friends.

I think I'd be pushing them to adapt it if possible to something closer to home where I'd have the ability to go and rescue them in a 4-6 hour time frame if necessary.

I guess I think that this sort of thing is the first step on the road to going backpacking in Australia or whatever and you need to do the simpler things first.

I think I went on my first solo trip at 17 but I'm not sure it would have been any different at 16.

I'd let her at 16.
At 17yrs I went to Turkey for a week with my friends.

Yes the recent friendship and involvement of boys gives pause for thought. In dds case it was a calm long standing all girl friendship group who had never done anything daft (that we knew of anyway)

I went away independently for the first time post-GCSE with my close female friends. We got the train to the other end of the country and camped (all did guiding/scouts/DofE). My DPs trusted me and my friends, but I don't think they would have been happy with a mixed group of boys and girls.

If you did it 43 years ago, she can manage it now with all the wonders of technology.
She's not flying to another country, so less worry about if she did need medical stuff.
Can you have a rule she checks in with you a couple times a day, once just before bed?
Would it be feasible to speak to any of her mates' parents? Just to kind of reassure yourself and have a bit of a joint plan?
If she does cadets she must know quite a few skills if they are going somewhere rural.
I honestly think it sounds like it would be good for her. I would have loved a holiday after my GCSEs. Though I was more than satisfied with Reading Festival, despite the crap lineup, lol.
It's a special time for teens, and to be given a bit of freedom to celebrate helps with independence in a controlled way. Some kids will be starting work in apprenticeships next year, so will need to act pretty mature. Let them enjoy the summer!