Prostitute checked into our hotel!

Yes, I imagine that if I was being pimped out or trying to retain some dignity while having to give smelly men blow jobs in cars in order to pay the rent, I would prefer to call myself a sex worker in order to protect my dignity and try to pretend that my situation wasn't as dangerous and horrible as it actually is.

I've nothing but sympathy and concern for women involved in prostitution. Having been involved in local groups trying to support women to escape from the cycle of deprivation, addiction and control that so many are caught in, I'm not going to dignify what they experience as 'sex work' and make it seem as acceptable as being an admin assistant at the council. It's not.

Just saw this come up on Twitter: The UN has issued this call for prostitution to be recognised as systematic violence against women and girls:

www.ohchr.org/en/press-releases/2024/06/special-rapporteur-urges-global-action-recognise-and-combat-prostitution

Exactly, Sharon. Calling it sex work and make it sound just like any other work means that people can turn a blind eye to the dreadful damage it does to the women involved. I think the term 'sex work' was originally developed in order to make the a very sordid, damaging, violent, exploitative, dangerous activity seem more dignified and to offer prostituted women some dignity. The dignity is fake, but it enables the cool girls of Mumsnet to talk about sex work as if it's something they'd be happy to encourage their daughters into.

All the women I know involved in helping women escape prostitution call it prostitution & refer to the women involved as prostituted women. There is a reason the want to escape & why escape is hard.

Apart from the sex workers themselves, that is. I have yet to meet a sex worker (and I have met an awful lot) who uses the term 'prostituted women', and most find the assumption they have no agency and can't make decisions for themselves offensive.

What would they know about it all, though?

Here is a conclusion.
Please feel free to jump to it

No, no one who knows anything about this subject calls prostituted women sex workers any more.

No mother, looking at her child, hopes that when she grows up she'll make a career of having sex with strangers for money. Resorting to prostitution, or being trafficked or forced into it, is not something that anyone would want for anyone they love.

I don't think you were unreasonable, OP, and if it was a large chain you were staying at I don't imagine management would be impressed with staff accepting cash payments to rent a room for an hour or two. I'd contact head office and tell them exactly what happened: there will be CCTV.

I also refuse to accept the concept of 'sex work.' I think it's a whitewashing phrase designed to make the whole business of prostitution, sex trafficking and the suffering of millions of women worldwide look respectable. I see prostitution as part of the systematic oppression and degradation mainly of women.

OP I know what you mean as it's happened to me.
I stayed at a hotel on the North Circular and there was no receptionist after 10 and prostitutes came in to the hotel and 'worked' in the room next to me.
There were also women in cars outside the hotel and in cars, it was a horrible atmosphere and although nothing happened to me I felt a bit unsafe as it's a dreadful trade and ran by violent men.

I'm just popping back to link to Reem Alsalem's recent report on prostitution and violence against women and girls for all the 'sex work is work' lot

https://documents.un.org/doc/undoc/gen/g24/078/81/pdf/g2407881.pdf?token=c5UHKjx2GM3LfmSdFD&fe=true

Just the terminology section is rather damning:

The term “prostitution” itself is not defined in international law. 3 The concept of prostitution, and the associated terminology, are contentious and polarizing. Confused translations, lack of clear definitions and euphemisms have added a layer of complications. The terminology used in the present report is based on the understanding of prostitution as a system of violence, 4 which reduces women and girls to commodities. It is a system of inequality and discrimination based on sex and other intersecting grounds, which affects a woman’s ability to achieve equality. Three groups of actors take part in this system: individuals – usually men and boys – who buy sexual acts; individuals – usually women and girls – who are bought to satisfy these sexual acts; and third parties who organize, or profit or benefit from prostituting the latter group. The term “prostitution system” reflects the Special Rapporteur’s findings that prostitution is intrinsically linked to different forms of violence against women and girls and constitutes a form of violence in and of itself. Pornography is understood to be filmed prostitution, 5 and is also covered in the present report

This 😂

And had red handbags. And my mum (in her late 70s) is sure that anyone who wears nail polish on their toenails is a bit sleezy..

I do not call anybody a prostitute. Streetworkers are the most likely to be addicted to drugs. One up from homeless. Then it is brothel staff. Again possibly substance misuse. A bit more organised possibly. Though still managed by pimps. Then it is independent escorts most of whom are on adultwork.

I do not call any woman a sexworker as to me it still sounds degrading.

There are still some on adultwork who are trafficked coerced pimped. It is run by AI bots these days so some will get their profile deactivated but many others not.

By far the majority of women on adultwork decide to do the escorting of their own free will. It simply isn't how society perceives it. Quite a few will still have alcohol and cocaine issues but plenty do not. I think a lot depends on upbringing education and employment background plus strength of character.

Yes I think that is a fair summary. I lived in an area of Birmingham which was significantly impacted by prostitution. I and many women were regularly approached and it made our environment unsafe and frankly our lives very difficult. The police did take some action but needed to have very direct evidence of kerb crawling/ soliciting taking place which often they did not.

IME most of the women and girls involved in prostitution were addicted to hard drugs, in serious debt or forced into it by partners. It is a horribly oppressive thing for women.

One piece of research I recall from the time was that undertaken from the University of Birmingham which suggested that one in eight men (12.5%) regularly used prostitutes. So there are men we know who are regularly involved in this trade. It is certainly a sobering thought.

Not that simple. The selling of sex in a public place is illegal. So a prostitute on the street can be arrested for soliciting, and prosecuted repeatedly for the same type of offence. This can result in a criminal record which stays on file and can cause problems with future employment, renting accommodation, etc. Whereas the buying of sex is not illegal. Kerb crawling is only a summary offence carrying a fine. No worse than a parking ticket. So men call the shots in both the buying and selling of womens’ bodies. Women get the criminal record, men get off with a slap on the wrist.

Just for clarity in the UK it is not illegal to sell sex. It is however illegal to run a brothel. A sole worker advertising via a website is not breaking the law, though there are complications with the use of premises.

Kerb crawling is illegal but not the purchase of sex.

😂😂😂💦

@KreedKafer ahhh you are absolutely right. We have all done the walk of shame! Well most of us. Doesn't mean we are a prozzi gosh! It's nothing to do with OP.

Lots of hotels will allow early check-in if they have a room ready, and it's reasonable to pay a deposit in cash.

What the woman was wearing, and what she does in her hotel room and with whom, is absolutely none of your business.

Hotel rooms often get booked at a day rate for photoshoots as well.

She might be a sex worker. She might be a glamour model. She might be someone checking in for a saucy time with her boyfriend. She might have been out all night clubbing and hadn't yet been to bed. She might have been none of those things. Either way, she isn't obliged to dress in a wholesome manner just because you had your child with you. It's a city hotel, not a Disney resort.

One of my old mental health clients has several issues and would probably easily be judged as ‘looking like a prostitute’ .. she messaged the service the other day stating she was booking into a hotel so that she could shower and sleep and her flat had a serious mould issue and her landlords were failing to deal with it, so she claimed her shower was unusable and she couldn’t sleep in her flat for various other reasons…. So she spent a couple of nights in a hotel …. Turned out she was suffering from a MH relapse and was paranoid about her neighbours ‘watching her’…. The woman you saw could have been there for a multitude of reasons….. if she was a sex worker I’d have felt sorry for her being exploited and moved on!…. The hotle can’t refuse her a room unless they have some sort of proof….
imagine accusing a person of that and then it turning out to be some woman booking a room for her and her husband to act out some sort of sexual fantasy to spice up their sex life!

Sounds like your fantasy is showing. And surely 10.30am is early for a client.

She might have just been hooking up with someone for the day. Is that not allowed either? Maybe you should create a leaflet to hand out explaining what's acceptable behaviour in a hotel room!

If yo read back through the thread you’ll seed why. Has been discussed extensively.

It’s really not. Either is acceptable.

What I don't understand is why everyone is still using the old, positively Victorian and judgmental term "prostitution". I think "sex worker" is the modern term.