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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be a bit horrified by DHs suggestion that he works from home FT?

163 replies

Thecatisannoying · 13/04/2024 13:19

I know I’ll probably get flamed but it’s awful.

You can’t just relax, constant one sided conversations, constant awareness of his presence, winding the children up by being in and out and out and in, no play dates, can’t do anything involving noise (so nothing basically)

I work three days a week. At the moment he wfh two days but five days a week no respite at all??

OP posts:
Fraaahnces · 13/04/2024 13:41

i’d end up poisoning mine… no way. Absence absolutely does make the heart grow fonder. At least 8 hrs a day is the bare minimum.

OrangeSlices998 · 13/04/2024 13:38

Does he have an office or somewhere he can work? Why is he keen to WFH, can he go to a communal workspace or something if he’s not keen to go to the office?

Original poster
Thecatisannoying · 13/04/2024 13:32

It’s me who can’t handle it. We had a play date when he was here: setting the table with mats and tablecloth like it was Christmas lunch, fussing about this and that.

I honestly think our marriage wouldn’t survive it.

OP posts:
enchantedsquirrelwood · 13/04/2024 13:32

I'm a big WFH fan but I do prefer it when my husband goes into the office. WFH full time is too much - you need a bit of time to yourself as well.

I'd suggest he goes into the office at least a day a week.

Applebyapples · 13/04/2024 13:31

I think you're prob not being reasonable, how long is his commute and what's the cost of his commute? However it is def unreasonable for him to expect silence while he works, you need to make it clear that if he works from home he is choosing to work in a family home and there will be family noise, playdates etc...whether he works there 2 days per week or 5!

Tiswa · 13/04/2024 13:30

DH works from home but he is away upstairs and the house goes ahead as nromal

I would say to him that it is his prerogative to do so but he cannot and you will not let it rule the house - noise will be made pkaydates will be had and if he can’t handle that he needs to go to the office

Original poster
Thecatisannoying · 13/04/2024 13:30

That’s awful @user12343333333334

He wouldn’t be that bad but I just find it so oppressive and invasive when he’s working at home.

@Dalesfun i get that it might seem like the answer but I can sense his presence wherever .

OP posts:
Dalesfun · 13/04/2024 13:28

YANBU. How big is your house - eg does your DH have an office far away enough from family rooms that he can be separated (noise and all)? Ideally office shed at the bottom of the garden!

user12343333333334 · 13/04/2024 13:27

It signalled the end of my marriage. Ex was a nightmare anyway. But I had no respite from him at all when he started wfh 5 days a week. Final nail.
We had to be silent. I couldn't ask him a question without him exploding at me that he was busy. Couldn't hoover or play music.
He had a study, but insisted on working at the dining table.
Demanding snacks, tea break, lunch to order. Like I was running a fucking cafe.
Sorry, I'm sure things will be fine. But you need to set your boundaries asap.

Original poster
Thecatisannoying · 13/04/2024 13:24

But it feels different. I might not be doing anything different but it feels it.

OP posts:
DeedlessIndeed · 13/04/2024 13:24

DH WFH full time, and it's not too bad, but only because he takes himself away from noise and goings on in the house. Noise cancelling headphones and an office/desk space out of the way is the only way to get through it I think.

Tarmacadamia · 13/04/2024 13:24

Oh god, the one-sided conversations! On days when DH and I both work from home I always end up wanting to kill him, he's constantly plonking himself down opposite me and yabbering on about something only he's interested in, oblivious to the fact that I'm, you know, working....(Even when I'm typing and looking at the screen and just going um hmm).

BigFatPuddingMonster · 13/04/2024 13:22

A comment I read on a thread about this resonated with me and I used it with DH when he was WFH and complaining about noise. Something along the lines of "You're working in our home. I'm not living in your workplace." He hasn't complained since and I crack on with whatever I have to do.