To be a bit horrified by DHs suggestion that he works from home FT?

My DH works from home full time, he doesn't have an office to go to but I am out every morning, all morning from 8:30(school drop off) until 12 when I finish work and come home with nursery aged DD.
He works in the front room so we don't disturb him nor he us.
If he's going to be WFH full time you need to insist on him using a specific space that not in the living area or kitchen area. He obviously needs his breaks but also needs to understand that you'll be carrying on with DC as you would if he wasn't there so playdates, TV, listening to music all carry on as normal.

Ditto felt like I was running a fucking cafe.
it totally changes the dynamic. Under no circumstances change your routine

But I do feel pressured to be out of the house and to keep children quiet ish.

Is that feeling from him, or you?

Imagine being this selfish.

DH is either WFH or working overseas - it's about a 70/30 split. He does not have an office to go to, but we have allocated a room in our house to his office. I can sometimes hear him online if I'm home and he has a global role so often works until 8pm. I work full time outside the home.

I would much rather he didn't WFH (and we don't even have kids at home now) but it is what it is.

I'm feeling this too. It's not that I don't like DH being around, and there are so many advantages to his being home all the time. It's just that I'm aware that it's a workplace now, so I can't vacuum when I notice it needing done. I put a wash on and he appears in the living room to set up making a video, "as there's noise in the kitchen". He's not complaining, he wouldn't, but... it's annoying that we don't have a place to close the door on the work side. I wish we had either a separate wing for working, or if he worked somewhere a few minutes away. He's always just HERE. All the TIME.

We do have a garden office but that's filled with machinery and components. Our garden room is filled with work projects and components. Our study is filled with computers, work projects and components and I feel like I could cry, because I'm so ashamed of how messy it looks with all the components and bits. I shouldn't complain as it keeps us all, but...

Don't they have offices at home? My dh has always worked from home but had a room he stays in!

YANBU!

My DH works from home Monday to Friday and has his own office. But, just as you said, it’s his presence that makes it difficult.

I have got used to it, but sometimes I just long for a solitary day on my own…….

YANBU, it's a nightmare.

In fairness mine never complains about me doing stuff round the house (I wfh too, but P/T) but I just find the fact that he's constantly here really stifling.

If I do a couple of hours work, then do some chores but sit down with a cup of tea, I feel like I can't relax.

I'll be glad when he retires because at least he will go out some days.

You aren't unreasonable to be concerned that he has unrealistic expectations regarding the levels of noise and that day to day household tasks still need to happen. Files will be moved off the table to eat lunch, the hoover will go round as needed etc.

If you haven't already, sit down and spell out to him that house things will not be adapted around him. Stop tip-toeing around on wfh as it's setting an expectation that this how the house will function 5 days per week.

Is he in his office?

We have separate rooms for working from home, which is very convenient, except we’ve now lost the use of those rooms, so is inconvenient

Years ago, when my husband was on call, morning and night, he would work and conduct conversations in bed, with me there, rather than get up and work somewhere else.
I used to be so annoyed. I was in bed for goodness sake, it was either night or early hours of the morning. !!

I couldn’t live with someone working in the sitting room or kitchen.

I would at that point tell them to work and make space in the bedroom ( not in the middle of the night though !! 😂😂

Correct, it is their home, not her exclusive domain to dictate his access to. She's one unhappy with his working arrangements, she can remove herself.

I’m having flashbacks to lockdown. DH went from being at work 7-7 to being at home 24/7. I don’t know how our marriage survived. I remember one day when he was eating lunch and the noise 😭 I literally had to make an excuse and leave the table.

Does he have a choice? I agree that being at home can have a detrimental effect on mental health for quite a few people. For us, I ended up getting a job that was office based. It certainty saved me and my sanity! I booked the kids places in wrap around to make it work. Is that an option for you?

This is amazing! I'd be a bit more understanding if no choice but to wfh but if a choice need to understand there are kids and let them be kids and partner be as they would if you weren't there :)

Why should she?

It's their home, not his workplace

He needs to listen to you

He needs to work in his 'shed'

And if noise is ever a problem (children need their garden) then he wears noise cancelling headphones

Or he goes back to the office

Naaah. Fine if he wants to work from home but the whole house doesn’t revolve around him. My husband is so loud; l joke he has 2 settings which are loud and extra loud. He then had the cheek when l was on maternity leave to ask me to keep newborn twins quiet 🤣🤣

You can always get a job out of the home 5 days a week if you need "respite".

My husband working full time from home as a result of covid genuinely hastened the demise of our marriage. We are separated now.