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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I have expected my wife to answer?

164 replies

Reddca · 13/04/2024 10:41

Getting ready to take DS out; I am down stairs getting ready and wife is in the kitchen, we are in separate but adjoining rooms. DS, who is up stairs, calls as he needs help with something.

I ask my wife if she can go upstairs and help DS but she doesn’t answer. I wait and then ask again and still no answer. I go upstairs and help DS.
Then I have a moan at DW for not answering my question. She claims that I should have know that she was busy and shouldn’t have asked.

I said, I didn’t know how long she was going to be and a simple yes or no would have been enough.

instead of descalating the situation, I continued to moan at her for not answering, and she went back to bed upset at me and left the house angry at her.

we were meant to see a house today but she doesn’t want to go.
its not the first time she has ignored a question when she thinks i should know the answer.
was I being reason?

OP posts:
theduchessofspork · 13/04/2024 10:51

If you want to talk to someone, go and talk to them - don’t call out from another room - especially if you want to negotiate for her to do something. She’s not a dog.

HTH

neverknowinglyunreasonable · 13/04/2024 10:51

I am also not going to provide you with an answer out of solidarity.

countrygirl99 · 13/04/2024 10:50

No excuse for not answering regardless how much effort is to say " can't right now"

Bigearringsbigsmile · 13/04/2024 10:50

She was rude- that would do my head in

SevenSeasOfRhye · 13/04/2024 10:49

Is this a reverse, OP? If not, you sound completely unreasonable - in the time it took you to ask your wife, wait, then ask again, you could have gone up and helped your son yourself. If you feel she isn't doing her share of these ad hoc parenting tasks, talk to her about it like an adult.

FictionalCharacter · 13/04/2024 10:49

If you called out to her from another room telling her to go upstairs and help ds, and there was no good reason for you not to do it, yabvvu.

Dery · 13/04/2024 10:49

“Why didn’t you just respond to your child’s request for help in the first place? Why was your first reaction to shout for your wife? Was what you were doing more important?”

This. Why was it your wife’s job to attend to your shared child? Why didn’t you just go to help your child when they called?

Hoplittlebunnyhophophopandstop · 13/04/2024 10:48

Hmm. I’m guessing you’re suppose to be looking after DS this morning but you’re expecting your wife to look after your child when it’s your turn?

allthemiddlechildrenoftheworld · 13/04/2024 10:48

@Reddca why could you not have just gone up to help your son? you dont need your wife to do all the running about after your child!

CommentNow · 13/04/2024 10:47

Had she prioritised getting herself ready whilst you had recreational time and had she been primary carer already?

SwingTheMonkey · 13/04/2024 10:46

Why didn’t you just respond to your child’s request for help in the first place? Why was your first reaction to shout for your wife? Was what you were doing more important?

dudsville · 13/04/2024 10:45

It doesn't sound like you were asking, more like delegating - that might be alright or not, depends on your relationship. And both of you were occupied. But my main gripe about the post is that I hate it when my DH attempts to speak to me from another room. Unless it's an emergency then come to me if you wish to speak to me, but don't keep on shouting from another room.

Scarletttulips · 13/04/2024 10:45

You sound like a barrel of laughs.

Nocturna · 13/04/2024 10:44

Sounds like she's fed up of being the one expected to always drop what she's doing, and being berated if she doesn't comply

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