Should I have expected my wife to answer?

On the face of it she's fed up of being shouted at to do something while in the middle of another thankless boring task.

But she might just be lazy & super rude.

And you leaving the house angry might be a bit of a sulky huff, or might be storming out banging doors & raging.

So her not wanting to see the house might be because she's not sure she wants to carry on living with you, or might be a massive huffy overreaction to nothing.

Who knows?
Nobody can judge unless they were there.

It depends a lot on your relationship. For years I wouldn’t have answered because you are taking ds out- WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU NEED TO ASK ME TO HELP GET HIM READY WHEN ITS NEVER EVER CROSSED YOUR MIND TO DO ANYTHING AT ALL ALL OF THOSE MORNINGS WHEN I TOOK HIM OUT?? So just asking me would make me want to stab you with a fork and I definitely wouldn’t be talking to you. Except to remind you he’s your child too. Now, I would answer, as he does a lot more. But I might answer no you’re the parent this morning, you will just have to navigate the endless challenge of getting yourself ready and getting your child ready.on the bright side, it is so much easier for you as you don’t have to do your hair or do your makeup or put contact lenses in, so I’m sure you can handle it.

This ^^

and then to continue to moan at her after !

What stands out to me is that you were "getting yourself ready" and therefore deemed it your wives job to help your son, even though you didn't know what she was currently doing.

I never have the luxury of "getting myself ready" uninterrupted. Many mums don't.

I suspect it's this that pissed her off. Instead of delegating to her and shouting from another room for her to do it, just go and do it yourself.

Thank you for my daily reminder to be sooooooo grateful I am single and all this kind of silly passive aggressive / controlling / opty-outy behaviour is behind me forever.

But they were. You thought getting dressed was more urgent than whatever your wife was doing, which you admit you didn’t know. You could have interrupted your own activity and seen to your child.

Yes she was rude not to answer

"I hope you're not one of these parents that seems to think the home maker mother should be responsible for the kids 24/7 as you have a Big Important Job monday to Friday and that somehow means you can do nowt on evenings and weekends!? She needs time off too. You need to share the chores at those times."

Seeing as he's the one taking the kid out and ages the one ignoring her spouse and child and flouncing off to bed without a care for childcare, I doubt it

instead of descalating the situation, I continued to moan at her for not answering

Why? This sounds like a reverse

Never, ever, ever, ever ever ask someone to do something if you can do it yourself.

So what if you just got out of the shower - you had a towel didn't you?

Stop barking orders at your wife from another room and step up and parent your kid. Is it your wifes kid too?

Was the agreement that it was you in charge of your DS and she was having a morning off? Many women's complaint is that they never get to do that because the other parent can't get on with things themselves. You tried to delegate, she was having none if it. I can't help feeling that if she had said no, a strop/moan would have happened. Do you have to help your wife every morning so she can have a shower without seeing to your son?

In our house this would go "Can you sort him I'm just out of the shower"
"Ok" or "No I'm doing A, B or C" if the second "OK DS hang on a minute" from one or other of us. No drama, no taking to bed in a huff. Just a normal few minutes family interaction. If your life regularly looks like you describe, then you need to take steps to change it as it must be exhausting for you both. Not to mention upsetting for DS when he's old enough to see the fall out that a request from him leads to.

I think it's bad manners not to reply.

A quick "I'm in the middle of doing the dishes" or whatever would have been better than leaving you not knowing if she'd even heard you or not.

If she doesn't reply a lot if times is it because it becomes a tit for tat 'well I'm too busy" "no I'm the one that's busy' type thing while you try to get out of doing something and she can't be arsed helping yet again?

Perhaps the who does what and when rules need looked at again?

I hope you're not one of these parents that seems to think the home maker mother should be responsible for the kids 24/7 as you have a Big Important Job monday to Friday and that somehow means you can do nowt on evenings and weekends!? She needs time off too. You need to share the chores at those times.

Apologies if you're a good person and I'm bang out of line and it's your wife that's unhelpful.

IMO she was rude to ignore you

Okay so you’ve just got out the shower and hear your child call for help with something, you ask DW ‘X needs a hand, are you busy?’ and she doesn’t reply. You get dry, perhaps brush your teeth, and ask again if she’s busy. No reply. She can hear you but rather than say ‘no I’m unloading the dishwasher/emptying the bin/washing up’ she expects you to know she’s busy, without you seeing this or her confirming it?

Very baffled this has caused a whole argument rather than her just saying ‘I’m in the middle of X’ and you saying okay cool I’ll finish Y and go. What’s the bigger issue here?

I am the same.

Why couldn't you go and see to your child the first time?

I'm sure you could have made the quick assumption that whatever your wife was doing was equally important to her, as getting ready was to you.

Lol

The chances of it being a same sex couple with a child is ‘incredibly small’?

What century are you living in?

ETA My original point about not knowing if it was a ‘bloke’ or not, clearly illustrates that some of us are basing our responses on it being either sex.

This

Reverse @Reddca?

I can’t see where is says op is a ‘bloke’.

@Reddca so she is in the kitchen? you have had a shower in the downstairs bathroom and are now getting ready? in adjoining rooms? are you dressing in the living room?

What a pedantic response. I’ll rephrase - ‘don’t you think it’s cruel to call out to your partner, rather than address them in person in a respectful manner’.

Honestly… absolutely pathetic behaviour from all adults involved.