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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have called the parents for this behaviour?

29 replies

ShyPearlMoose · 12/04/2024 23:28

Short version: would you want your babysitter to contact you on a date night if they were struggling with your child's behaviour?

I'm babysitting tonight for a 10 year old boy with autism and ADHD and an 8 year old girl. I've babysat for them for about a year with little problems and I also tutor them weekly, they're lovely kids and we have a good relationship. I'm 26, a student teacher and used to clean for the family before I started studying so that's how I know them.

Mum and dad went out for dinner tonight and as they were leaving confirmed that the kids both only had an hour of iPad time left which they both agreed to. The girl is fine coming off but I usually struggle for about 10 minutes to get the boy to come off before he listens. The iPads have a screen time setting on them so he knows he'll get caught out by his parents if he goes over, reminding him of this is what usually gets him off.

We did some painting together then the kids both had their iPad time from 7:30-8:30pm. I was giving them both 30, 15 minute and 5 minute warnings to make it easier for them to come off. Girl came off straight away but the boy wouldn't come off for about 10 minutes as usual then skulked off upstairs. He then came down with a different type of tablet in his hands (I think it was his parents') and started begging his sister for the code to get in. She said no as they weren't allowed. He started having a complete meltdown, crying, kicking her, throwing things, shouting and screaming. He grabbed his own iPad back and was giving me ultimatums. 'Either you get her to give me the code or I'll just play on this one.' It was nearing bed time at this point and I didn't know what to do as he was so irate so I text his mum saying I was struggling to get him to come off the iPad and if she knew something I could do. I knew if I left him to it he'd be on it until they got home which would look so bad on me and he wouldn't get enough sleep. She rang me straight away and asked to speak to him which just made things worse, he locked himself in the bathroom with his iPad and started banging on the door and shouting about how I was a traitor for telling on him.
Mum and dad were fine with me when they got home but I'm just concerned I ruined their night. They were just having dessert when she rang me.
Should I have waited until they got back to say something? Does this look bad on me?

OP posts:
fibrecruncher · 12/04/2024 23:32

Wavywoo · 12/04/2024 23:30

You did the right thing, I would rather you phoned in this situation.

Agreed.

ShyPearlMoose · 12/04/2024 23:31

Just to add: following the phone call he calmed down, took himself to bed and seemed ok

OP posts:
Scarletttulips · 12/04/2024 23:31

There’s nothing wrong in asking for help - you’ll learn this as a teacher. Parents know their child best and have a few tricks up their sleeve.

You won’t have spoilt their night as a parent it’s nice not to have to worry about the kids for a couple of hours but you are ultimately always on duty.

Wavywoo · 12/04/2024 23:30

You did the right thing, I would rather you phoned in this situation.