For those of us with very small families...

@pasturesgreen Yes, it’s best to accept the family situation and focus on cultivating the relationships/relationships that you do have.

My DH is one of four, but his family is very scattered so we have to make a big effort in order to see his siblings. They couldn’t (and if I’m honest, wouldn’t) provide any support to us anyway, and we’ve accepted that.

@PauliesWalnuts It’s weird when you realize that you’re close to the age that your parent (and/or sibling died), isn’t it? My Mum’s health was already deteriorating at 49, my current age, and I’m very aware of how lucky I am not to be battling a chronic illness as she did.

I’m on my own, almost completely. Parents, grandparents died in my 20’s, aunts and uncles followed, sibling died 3 years ago. I have no kids and my closest blood relatives are four cousins who I am no longer in touch with - we drifted apart as we grew up and I don’t even know their addresses. I am not married and am childless by circumstance.

It scares me when I think about getting old - after my sibling and my uncle died suddenly I realised I didn’t actually have a next of kin in case I ended up on a machine in hospital.

So, I’ve asked my best mate to be my executor and she also has Power of Attorney. I have made peace with spending time on my own and practice by going on solo holidays and doing sports and pastimes on my own (as well as with my friends!). Weirdly after a decade of being single I met a guy four years ago - we will probably not get married or join assets as he has kids and I have godchildren but I see him a couple of days a week. He said he liked my independence.

It still bothers me that I am alone - I miss my nuclear family dreadfully. But, I am a year away from the age my mum died (52) and 5 years older than my sibling ever got to be. I can’t let this tie me up in knots - I have to enjoy life because they didn’t get to do that.

Very similar to you, OP, in thst I'm also single with no children. An only child, my parents had siblings but sadly they died young, so no aunts and uncles or cousins either. I try and take the approach that it is what it is and no point dwelling on what could have been.

I have some very good friends who are a great support network. My parents are still alive, although getting on a bit now. They're my only family, so I do sometimes wonder what Christmas, or life in general, will be like once they pass, but again, it's my life and I can't change it, might as well make the most of what I have.

I’m glad that you’re having therapy @Strawberriesandpears , because feeling this way isn’t a healthy way to live your life.

Im also an only, Mum died when I was on my 20’s, Dad now in his 80’s with health problems. I’ve accepted and am at peace with the fact that ultimately, we’re all alone in this life and one day I could easily find myself alone. I have a DH and children, but both kids seem adventurous types and unlikely to live close by. I’m prepared for them to live on different continents, tbh!

I hope that therapy enables you to make peace with your situation. 💐

I am an only child. My parents are alive still and I have a lovely partner, but I often feel sick to my core when I think about how small my support network is and how I could end up alone - especially in old age. It has taken over my life to be honest, and I worry about it from the moment I wake up until I go to sleep again at night (and even in my sleep I sometimes have nightmares related to my situation). It's a horrible place to be in and is ruining my life.

I am currently having therapy and trying to make some new friends.

I know I don't speak for everyone, but I do think that being an only child is very tough. I see people on Mumsnet saying their only child will be fine as they'll have 'play dates etc' but it's the longer term which needs consideration. Obviously not everyone has a good relationship with their siblings and extended family, but if there is none, you guarantee there will be no relationship.

I actually wish my parents had not had me at all. I used to quite enjoy life, but now I have had this massive realisation about how alone I am / might be in the future, the extreme anxiety I have takes away any enjoyment of life. I am honestly very mentally unwell with it all.

Lost my sister and mum in last few years, dad died 35 years ago. It's tough. It kills me that my dd11 doesn't have grandparents when other kids her age do.

@VestibuleVirgin my husband is not merely a bonus, he is my best friend and meeting him is the best thing that ever happened to me.

Friends have come and gone as we have we moved around the world.

A partner is merely a bonus in life. Friends, strangers and colleagues enrich ones life. Fleeting interactions, or strong friendships are our rocks (or pebbles) and fun.
Go to afternoon/evening lectures on topics you know noyjing about. Explore quirky, off the beaten track, museums. Go to a live sports event.
You have some much opportunity to fill your life. Don't pine for the unnecessary! 😊

@crochetmonkey74

Yes get where you are coming from. Orginally came from a larger family but due to circumstances around severe mental health relating to birth mother,
that side of my family become severally fractured too,
Hence being adopted by lovely family ,
for a few or several years normality in regards of family life,

then my mother who adopted became seriously ill with breast cancer subsequently died cause life can be a Bastard 💩 at times.

You have now Sparkly, unfortunately. Dysfunctional parents and supporting sibling here so I'm not in contact with them. They live abroad, hours and hours away.

On the plus side I'm not likely to bump into them 😁

Small family but see much more of them than DH sees of his which is a huge family so quality over quantity in our case.
But l would love to have a bigger family.

I'm an only child, just mum around now. I do have cousins but they are all men who are 15-20 years older and live far away.
I know people with very big families but as they say, you can pick your friends...

I'm an only child . Both my parents have now passed. I have two cousins ( who are married with grown up dc ) but they don't live local to me. We don't have much in common apart from sharing a set of grandparents.

I don't get on with my pil and my bil has no children. There are cousins and aunts/ uncles on their side , but we don't see them .

My small family was part of my decision to have 3 dc. I am quite conscious of it, and sometimes it makes me sad . Inevitably, I compare myself to people with close family.

I don't have any close friends either.

Just me and my two children. I do have three siblings-haven't seen any of them in 5/10years I get the annual happy birthday message if I'm lucky. DH lied and cheated and he was the only person I actually thought I could rely on 😞 parents both passed, dad when I was 7 mother when I was 30 after years of cancer and she was a functioning alcoholic for all of my childhood. Pretty fucked up.. it hurts, I hide it well and hold it together for my children. Typing this out makes me feel incredibly sad, I keep a tight lid on these feelings most of the time. Sad to see others also so alone. x

I have a very small family, just my husband, 2 children and mum. 2 cousins, one of whom loves in New zealand so hardly ever see them! I had a sister who died when she was 4. I think this makes the wanting a bigger family worse as I think of what could have been. When I hear about others big family or having really close siblings etc gatherings it does upset me. I would have loved a big family.

I am single, I have a 21-year-old DD who hopes to have three children (!) my mum is 90 and needs a lot of support that I don't have the capacity to give her, and my brother is useless and I barely speak to him, everything is been dumped on me with no support. I have a cousin in America and I do have lots of friends but it's not quite the same, I feel bad when DD goes to her boyfriend's or friends' families and there's lots of them (although to be fair some of them are quite dysfunctional and that makes me feel not too bad!) and at home for her it's only me. I was quite ill a couple of years ago as well and having nobody around to support me other than asking favours from friends who have their own priorities was really hard. I do really make the effort to link up with more distant family and friends, but I feel as though it's a lot of me making the effort rather than other people making it.

I have 1 sibling and 3 cousins who live 300 miles away. My adult dc live 250 miles away.
I have a great dh and we are always out and about...he has 3 siblings who live 10 minutes away who he never sees as they are flaky.
You don't need a big family. Friends are much more important IMO.

Different!😂

Small pair of steps in rhe kitchen is a definite help, other than that we're quite happy.

I have a dad who needs support and a sister who lives the opposite end of the country who I don't really get along with. I have aunts and uncles but we never saw them growing up and I never speak to them now other than at weddings/funerals.

We have dh parents and sister who I get on fine with but they are not close by. We see them every month or so.

I consider my family to be me dh and our 3 kids. Plus the older two have partners now who are fab. Hopefully my three will be close when they are older.

Another only child with no children. I have my husband and an Uncle who is 95. Not overly concerned but I did feel quite alone when sorting my Mum's funeral, clearing and selling her home last year. That was tough.

My parents are dead and I don't see my brother. Aunts, uncles and cousins live all over the country and never see them. There is no member of my family now I ever see anymore.
Do have a lovely DH and two DC.

I have no partner, no children and no parents. One sister who I love, but we are not close (in any sense - she lives abroad). I regard my close friends as family.

I no longer have anything to do with my remaining parent or my sibling. Took a conscious decision to remove them from my life a few years ago, and I'm much happier for it. I don't understand why people force themselves to entertain people they wouldn't choose as friends just because they are related.

Just me on my own, occasionally have my partner over, and meet up with friends once in a while. I wouldn't have it any other way. Life is nice, quiet, and tranquil and I don't feel any need to keep the company of people I'm totally ambivalent about just for the sake of company.

Surely it depends how small it is and if you are happy with it? If I hadn’t got my DH and DCs my family would pretty much just be me.