For those of us with very small families...

We both have siblings but as adults they have not enhanced our lives at all so be careful whatt you wish for.

Focus on what what you have, not what you haven't

This is such a cute idea. If you do start a thread, please tag me. I'm Northampton based.

I just have my mum , sibling is estranged and feel very uncomfortable when I'll be left alone . I have friends but not the connection of family .

It's hard, I'm not sure people with a DH and kids are in the same situation. I have my mother and two siblings left but I don't speak to one sibling. None of us have kids. There's 3 of us at Christmas, one sibling doesn't join us and I put up with the other one for mum's sake. Once my mum is gone I expect to be alone in the world completely (doubt I'll have any sort of relationship with siblings after that) it's scary if I think about it too much. Don't expect to have a DH or kids at this point.

Dosent .mean the family relations are happy.
There's loads of threads also at Xmas about people having to see family they don't want too.

Exactly. Coping tips makes it sounds like an illness too.

@SpikeGilesSandwich I agree, Christmas really highlights the lack of family. I wish it didn't have to come round every year. My plan for the future (when I am truly on my own) is to tire myself out the day before and go to bed very late so that I can just sleep through most of the day itself.

It's just DH, DS and I. It does make me sad when I see family relationships and I'd love to have grandparents or aunts and uncles in DS's life. I'd have loved more children but sadly not to be so I worry what will happen to him when we go.

Christmas is the worst, endless mentions of "the family" coming over for celebrations, nope, it's just us three as usual.

There's just my 2 DC and me.
I DO have a sister, but don't even see one another annually. I have zero clue about her life and vice versa.
I used to feel sad/lonely about it, but I really don't anymore.
Or maybe I do, but any sadness is buried so deep, I can no longer access it.

Hi @crochetmonkey74 I hope you don't mind me resurrecting your thread. I just wanted to say that I am in very similar circumstances and share your worries and fears.

Would it maybe help if you could meet friends (both online and in 'real life') who are in the same position? I have a real life friend like this. Our friendship definitely makes me feel less alone. I am hoping I can bring together some more people like us and form a 'family' that way.

I just don't know how to find people though. Maybe we could start a thread asking for people in these exact circumstances and take it from there?

I wish I had a big family. I don't speak to my sister so it's really only me parents, husband and children. It's a shame for them. I wish they had cousins to play with.

@crochetmonkey74

Thank you for setting up this mumsnet thread..😊
Good idea

I just read a few threads on here about family arguments over holidays/Christmas/inheritance/parents visiting too often or not enough...
and feel thankful I don't have any of that.

Oh I appreciate that there's no guarantee. However when you have no siblings there is unfortunately a guarantee that it is never going to happen.

I have friends who have young children and have had them around the same time as their siblings have. They are all now growing up in a lovely family unit together.

@Strawberriesandpears Having siblings is no guarantee of nieces/nephews/cousins for your own children though. My DH has three siblings and they’ve all chosen to be childfree!

I just assumed that my children would have a few cousins on DH’s side, but nope! Instead, some of my first cousins happened to have children close in age to my own so they’ve got some second cousins!

It's taken a while but I've accepted that my lot in life is to have no extended family. I had a collection of my own kids and just focus on them and my husband. I regret that my children don't have the extended family I'd wish for them either, but that is a result of my parents' choices which I'm stuck with.

💐

Aww good luck to you all. This is one of the reasons I feel I can't have a child - because I can't give them any extended family and I feel I would live with constant anxiety about leaving them alone in the world. It's another of the major drawbacks of being an only child, I feel.

I have friends who have young children and have had them around the same time as their siblings have. They are all now growing up in a lovely family unit together. I so wish that could be my life.

I'm an only, my DH is an only and we have 1 child. I would have liked more but it just wasn't meant to be. I feel sad my son doesn't have any aunts/uncles/cousins and his remaining grandparents are in their 80s.
I try my best to help him be a confident child to make friendships and have a wide circle. Hopefully one day he'll settle down with a partner. I worry about the future when me and my DH have gone. I hope thats many years away but it's still on my mind.

It sometimes takes my breath away that other people have children, siblings AND nieces and nephews and I have none of those. Not sure what I did to deserve this loneliness. I have kind of given up on life almost - what's the point without family. It's so fundamental.

And I hate that there's nothing I can do to 'fix' my problem. I am just railroading into a sad and lonely future followed by dying alone.

I am even going to have to at some point face arranging my own funeral as I have nobody else to do it. I am going for a direct cremation though as there will be nobody to attend. I can't believe how insignificant my life is compared to others. I am just nothing. Not a mother, never a grandmother, not an aunty, not a sister, not a sister-in-law. Just so insignificant and pointless.

I have my widowed mum, bro and sis in law, we have two DC each. So 9 of us now. Sorry one more, an aunt in Spain who is very unwell. Not tiny but certainly not large. In the last 6 years I have lost a parent, 3 aunts and 2 uncles. I fear remaining aunt may not be far off.

Sadly aunts and uncles were either child free or estranged from their DC so I don't know my cousins.

I do feel sad about it. I'd love my DC to have more people around them who love them. I had lots of aunts and uncles growing up, some great, some not so much but I felt part of something bigger I suppose.

Big families aren't all that. Whilst I am an only child(you will find out why soon). Mum was one of 11 dad one of 10. They are both long dead, before I was 25. I am 55.
I have 46 first cousins that I know of. Perhaps more. God knows how many second.

Mum was the oldest of her dad's kids, nan had two prior to meeting him. Not sure if she was married to her first husband or not!

Dad was sick as a child so wasn't sent to school!

So they basically help raise their younger siblings...often dad would earn good money and mum.would help her almost totally workshy family out. When dad wasn't earning, which was the case permanently from the time I was 11, most were conspicuous by their absence..especially when mum got cancer.
Dads mother...well she was only happy when her family were fighting, literally physically at times. So they are completely dysfunctional.

I could go on. One member of my very large family has contacted me since Christmas. Via Facebook. For years I was told "we don't see enough of you" I was expected to do all the work, go and see them...often finding it was an inconvenience that I had visited.
So 5 years ago I stopped. No one really noticed. I keep them at arms length, Facebook keeps me informed.
Do I miss them, no, they were never really there.

This is me . Once mum goes I will be alone . I have good friends but not the ' connections' family gives .

@BruFord its very strange, and one I unhealthily obsess over I think. On the day I am older than she ever was I plan to go and stay at Gravety Manor, tour their kitchen garden and then eat there. I think she would have loved that. Then I really need to draw a line under it.

@BruFord Thank you. It is difficult being an only child, isn't it? Wishing you all the best for whatever happens in your future too.