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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want DH to stop sending me photos of things that displease him?

352 replies

Notasaruleno · 12/04/2024 15:03

So - interests of fairness he is a decent man generally but he has this one habit that really puts my nose out of joint.

Say I have done something minor but I appreciate annoying he sends me a photo on WhatsApp, like a top left off a bottle or if the cat has killed a mouse (he hates cats) or similar. He just sends a photo, no accompanying message. I absolutely hate it, I think it’s really passive aggressive and I never know how or if to respond.

AIBU if I tell him to stop it?

OP posts:
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24
stayathomer · 12/04/2024 18:48

I feel like some of the brightest stars of mn are on this thread and it should be one of those all star thingies😉

BoudiccaOfSuburbia · 12/04/2024 18:48

Who the hell does he think he is?

I would tell him that he is not my line manager and to stop this unpleasant passive aggressive harassment.

If he did it again I would block him.

It is horrible, manipulative controlling behaviour.

AspiringChatBot · 12/04/2024 18:45

In the examples you gave (cap off the milk bottle, dead mouse in house) - assuming the person lived with me I'd probably reply with "thanks for taking care of that!"

LyndaSnellsSniff · 12/04/2024 18:45

I'd reply with this, every single time.

To want DH to stop sending me photos of things that displease him?
NiceUnusualDifferent · 12/04/2024 18:43

BusStopNumber3 · 12/04/2024 18:30

Last page definitely needs to be a pic of the cat chewing his toothbrush.

Show quote history

😂

MaybeRevisitYourWipingT3chnique · 12/04/2024 18:42

Can you treat it like he's starting out in his new hobby of photography and just snapping everything, however mundane, for practice?

Totally ignore the item itself and critique the lighting, angle, backdrop, shadows, sharpness of focus etc.?

zeibesaffron · 12/04/2024 18:40

I agree with others I wouldn’t put up with this passive aggressive shit!! Tell him to stop/ fuck off (delete as appropriate) and I love the idea of sending pictures of random nonsense back if he does it again!

Wornoutlady · 12/04/2024 18:39

@diddl because he won't notice it - and doesn't ever clean it up. And in the warmer months, we get ants in the house with that kind of sticky mess. Maybe you could talk to him? 😍

GreenHome · 12/04/2024 18:37

block him

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 12/04/2024 18:34

I'd have to pass-agg back, with a message going on for pages (cut and paste) saying something like 'waaaaaaahhhh!!! I am so bad! So evil! I am chastising myself right now for my inconsiderate ways! I may flagelate later (undecided), but will definitely punish myself...' and go on and on and on and on.

Or just shove the picture under his nose when you get home and hiss 'ever do this again, you prick, and you are OUT, and the cat agrees with me.'

SnapdragonToadflax · 12/04/2024 18:34

I would definitely just send back a photo of something random - whatever you're looking at at the time. It's a game, right?

Also a big fan of this gif, which I use frequently. I feel it conveys so much.

Steve Coogan Shrug GIF
diddl · 12/04/2024 18:32

Wornoutlady · 12/04/2024 18:27

I feel terrible now. I do this ALL the time. My DH leaves marmite on the kitchen counter every single morning and I end up scrubbing it off. So now I just photograph it and text.

Why don't you leave it for him to clean?

diddl · 12/04/2024 18:31

Say I have done something minor but I appreciate annoying he sends me a photo on WhatsApp,

I think he's a twat for doing that-but how often are you doing stuff that you agree is annoying?

BusStopNumber3 · 12/04/2024 18:30

NiceUnusualDifferent · 12/04/2024 18:17

Have them.made into a photo book and ask for a divorce on the last page!

Last page definitely needs to be a pic of the cat chewing his toothbrush.

BusStopNumber3 · 12/04/2024 18:29

If you want to go retro, there’s some great Brookside patio gifs online.

Wornoutlady · 12/04/2024 18:27

I feel terrible now. I do this ALL the time. My DH leaves marmite on the kitchen counter every single morning and I end up scrubbing it off. So now I just photograph it and text.

Barney16 · 12/04/2024 18:25

Is this the cup stacking bloke? Send him a picture back of some random object, slightly out of focus.

dreadisabaddog · 12/04/2024 18:25

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 12/04/2024 15:05

Can you reply with a picture of his face?

😂 I love you

cerisepanther73 · 12/04/2024 18:25

@@Notasaruleno 🥱💩🤓👽

BrainWontWorkAnymore · 12/04/2024 18:22

I'd send the same photo back or a version of it.

teatimeplease · 12/04/2024 18:22

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 12/04/2024 15:05

Can you reply with a picture of his face?

😂😂😂

Applesandpears23 · 12/04/2024 18:22

gemsgv · 12/04/2024 15:17

I hate when people send screenshots (and some photos) when a few words would have done. My whatsapp folder auto backs up to google photos (which for the most part is useful) and then if I don't keep deleting the photo and then the backup, I end up with loads of useless crap

Edited

You can switch off auto backup for whatsapp photos either all together or chat by chat.

Blogswife · 12/04/2024 18:21

Send him a random photo back each time e.g a waste paper bin or a pic of your coffee cup . Pretend you think it’s a game .

0sm0nthus · 12/04/2024 18:19

fantastic solutions on here, please report back OP!

NiceUnusualDifferent · 12/04/2024 18:17

Have them.made into a photo book and ask for a divorce on the last page!