I was sat in my allotment, minding my own business, having just potted some beansprouts and some mad couple come bowling over to me demanding I move my chair and leave their allotment!
I'd only just settled in with my voddy & orange in a Stanley Cup and a copy of Take A Break.
Weather was 19° and not muddy at all.
They said its their land! I said it bloody ruddy is not, I've been here 10 years and I put this bloody ruddy shed here myself. It cost me £89 from B&Q. And I had to pay someone from the face book £40 to put it up too. In cash!
AIBU to think finders keepers, losers weepers?? If they wanted the land they shouldn't have waited 3 months to come visit, even if it had been pissing it down for months and who in their right mind would bother with checking an allotment in a pissy February right after moving and being ill too?
I'm currently going through my paper bin to find some cardboard to make some signs saying 'Big Barbara's Beansprouts, keep away'
And tonight I'm going hedgehog hunting so I can strategically place the prickly bastards on leads around the perimeter of MY land.
The cheek of some people!
(Dear MNHQ this is satire and for a laugh. For legal reasons I am not in fact Big Barb and have no intentions of tethering hedgehogs. Please don't call the RSPCA)