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AIBU?

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Who is being unreasonable?

289 replies

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 09:24

My husband and I are having a debate and I would like to know who is wrong. I am posting in AIBU for traffic.

We are a family of 5.

3 working full time. 1 working part time and one at Sixth form.

How many of the following do a family like ours use.

Toilet rolls
Kitchen rolls
bottles of shower gel
Bottles of shampoo and conditioner
Fabric conditioner
Washing pods
Deodorant
Tooth paste
Gas and electric per month.

And any other items that you buy weekly/monthly.

Settle a debate and help me prove my Husband wrong.

OP posts:
TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 11:44

beetr00 · 12/04/2024 11:26

@TheSpoonyNavyReader as you can see from replies it appears your household's overall consumption is greater than the majority.

Should you wish, there are many areas which could be reduced to levels with which your husband would be more comfortable.

My husband thinks are shopping bill is too high but when we went through the receipts over half the bill per week was for Wine (I am not willing to give that up) beers, and personal items like shower gel, shampoo etc.

My girls both have very long hair, that they wash everyday.

OP posts:
TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 11:41

Spirallingdownwards · 12/04/2024 11:36

Well both are but the electric there seems to be the reason (your excessive use). The gas seems high but for no good reason when I compare to our comparable house where our gas is half to a quarter of what you pay. Hence I would get the meter checked in case there is an issue.

My electric is £170 a month, which does not seem excessive by the terms of what Ofgem says for our size of house and number of people. The meters are fine and have been checked.

How many in your house and number of rooms, how often its on and what temp is the heating set at, and do you have any other sources of heat?

OP posts:
Spirallingdownwards · 12/04/2024 11:36

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 11:29

Its my gas that is excessive not my electric bill.

Well both are but the electric there seems to be the reason (your excessive use). The gas seems high but for no good reason when I compare to our comparable house where our gas is half to a quarter of what you pay. Hence I would get the meter checked in case there is an issue.

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 11:34

BananaNutPancakes · 12/04/2024 11:30

Switch up the fragrance on your laundry products periodically. If you are using the same one for ages you've likely gone nose blind to the smell. You'll probably will be able to reduce the amount used if the only reason you are using more is for the scent.

Also, your radiators may need a flush and rebalancing. Also a pump upgrade may be in order. We live in a much older house than you do and our gas bill isn't that high.

We have had a new boiler, pump and the whole system flushed out last year, it has reduced the gas bills. We have 6 bedrooms, 4 reception rooms, Kitchen, utility and boot room, over 3 storeys so its a big house.

I agree with going nose blind, I think that has happened and I will try and reduce the fabric conditioner.

OP posts:
TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 11:31

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 12/04/2024 11:19

If your husband sweats that much just make him wear PJ’s and wash them!

seriously though OP, you’ve posted asking if it’s excessive, we’ve all said it is and then you just keep coming back arguing that’s were wrong and you’re right.

if you’re happy, then crack on. But you need to accept that you’re in the minority here.

People are only pointing out my laundry is excessive, I admit I wash things too much, but it is a habit and one that makes me feel comfortable.

My husband does not have an issue with the laundry but other things I have listed, like shower gel etc.

OP posts:
BananaNutPancakes · 12/04/2024 11:30

Switch up the fragrance on your laundry products periodically. If you are using the same one for ages you've likely gone nose blind to the smell. You'll probably will be able to reduce the amount used if the only reason you are using more is for the scent.

Also, your radiators may need a flush and rebalancing. Also a pump upgrade may be in order. We live in a much older house than you do and our gas bill isn't that high.

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 11:29

Spirallingdownwards · 12/04/2024 11:19

I still think there is an issue. We are in a similar property and our bills are a third of what you are paying.

But then again I don't do the extraordinary amount of washing you are doing to bump up the electricity element of our bill.

Its my gas that is excessive not my electric bill.

OP posts:
TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 11:28

GuttingHouse2024 · 12/04/2024 11:16

Your jumper is smelly after wearing it all day and your jeans? Tops etc I’d change every day or things that are muddy (younger children) but generally adult work clothes (office type work not outdoor building work or messy jobs) can be reworn (trousers, outer tops, etc). The towels is more of an issue / that is a LOT of towels washing every week!! Why do you feel a towel that has been used to dry your CLEAN body need washed right away rather than hung to dry and reused the next day?

The point isn’t the actual cost of the scent booster it’s the impact on the environment and you all must smell relaly chemically artificial smells. I don’t see the need but each to their own. Don’t try to pretend your EV makes up for all this excessive chemical useage though. Your soy candles aren’t that great either (so some research about soy rainforests etc) - you’d be better cracking a window open and letting some fresh air in your house. Natural you know.

Maybe I am just messy but working all day, my clothes usually have a stain on them, or the smells of cooking (cant stand the smell of grease etc).

I am clean when I get out of the shower but its touched your bits and I would hate it to be reused, do you not change your guest towels after someone has visited?

I am only washing the towels like my Mum did back in the 80's.

All windows are opened daily to let fresh air into the house.

I do not smell chemically at all, I cant be the only person that uses scent boaster as there is a full aisle in my Supermarket.

OP posts:
beetr00 · 12/04/2024 11:26

@TheSpoonyNavyReader as you can see from replies it appears your household's overall consumption is greater than the majority.

Should you wish, there are many areas which could be reduced to levels with which your husband would be more comfortable.

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 12/04/2024 11:19

If your husband sweats that much just make him wear PJ’s and wash them!

seriously though OP, you’ve posted asking if it’s excessive, we’ve all said it is and then you just keep coming back arguing that’s were wrong and you’re right.

if you’re happy, then crack on. But you need to accept that you’re in the minority here.

Spirallingdownwards · 12/04/2024 11:19

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 11:14

The gas bill is high as we live in a Victorian farmhouse, on a hill. So we have no insulation in the walls and can not put any in as its listed.

We have it ticking over in the winter at 19.5, as if we let it drop any further the whole house freezes and the heat that has built up just leaves the house.

The meters are working fine just the fabric of the house causes such high bills.

I still think there is an issue. We are in a similar property and our bills are a third of what you are paying.

But then again I don't do the extraordinary amount of washing you are doing to bump up the electricity element of our bill.

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 11:18

NoblyBobly · 12/04/2024 11:15

Your laundry is ridiculous!!!

Some clothes can be worn more than once.

You all shower twice a day and use a fresh towel each time? Why?

No I said sometimes twice a day, depending on what we have done during the day. We also shower before if we are going out in the evening.

As I said maybe I am the strange one, my parents always taught me to have a shower every morning, and before you go out with friends for dinner etc.

OP posts:
Motomum23 · 12/04/2024 11:18

Family of 6 - WFH and home Ed kids so in the house a lot. We go through 9-12 loo rolls a week. 1 bottle of shampoo/conditioner. 1 box of washing powder a fortnight (don't bother with conditioner or scent boosters). 1 can of deodorant a Fortnight although oldest ds has his own and probably gets through one a month.
Electricity just gone from £180pm to £90 and heating oil is £500 every 3 months.

GuttingHouse2024 · 12/04/2024 11:16

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 11:08

I feel that clothes that I have worn all day are not clean, my opinion yours are different.

Scent boaster only cost £5 a week so not excessive, if I was spending £100 a month that would be excessive.

Your jumper is smelly after wearing it all day and your jeans? Tops etc I’d change every day or things that are muddy (younger children) but generally adult work clothes (office type work not outdoor building work or messy jobs) can be reworn (trousers, outer tops, etc). The towels is more of an issue / that is a LOT of towels washing every week!! Why do you feel a towel that has been used to dry your CLEAN body need washed right away rather than hung to dry and reused the next day?

The point isn’t the actual cost of the scent booster it’s the impact on the environment and you all must smell relaly chemically artificial smells. I don’t see the need but each to their own. Don’t try to pretend your EV makes up for all this excessive chemical useage though. Your soy candles aren’t that great either (so some research about soy rainforests etc) - you’d be better cracking a window open and letting some fresh air in your house. Natural you know.

NoblyBobly · 12/04/2024 11:15

Your laundry is ridiculous!!!

Some clothes can be worn more than once.

You all shower twice a day and use a fresh towel each time? Why?

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 11:15

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 12/04/2024 11:11

I may be the one that is strange on this thread, bedding only needs to be change twice in the height of summer.

even in the height of summer, bedding does not need to be changed twice a week…

It does as my husband sweats.

OP posts:
TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 11:14

Spirallingdownwards · 12/04/2024 11:08

How are your bills so high? I would suggest getting the meters checked.

The gas bill is high as we live in a Victorian farmhouse, on a hill. So we have no insulation in the walls and can not put any in as its listed.

We have it ticking over in the winter at 19.5, as if we let it drop any further the whole house freezes and the heat that has built up just leaves the house.

The meters are working fine just the fabric of the house causes such high bills.

OP posts:
mynamechangemyrules · 12/04/2024 11:14

I'm reeling from the '1 toilet roll per person per day' 😳😳

PotteringAlonggotkickedoutandhadtoreregister · 12/04/2024 11:11

I may be the one that is strange on this thread, bedding only needs to be change twice in the height of summer.

even in the height of summer, bedding does not need to be changed twice a week…

User1979289 · 12/04/2024 11:10

fucking hell! We use 1 bottle of shampoo/conditioner/shower gel a MONTH between 4 people. How much do people use each day? You need like a penny sized dollop of shampoo/sg, well lathered and maybe 2x that conditioner - but the 2 men in our house do not use conditioner. I can't fathom these quantities!

Limer · 12/04/2024 11:09

I'm with your DH.

That's a ridiculous amount of washing, and therefore crazy spending on all the detergents etc. Towels don't need washing after every use, and neither do most clothes.

Switch to roll-on deodorants, they last much longer.

Switch to soap, lasts much longer than shower gel.

Halve the amount of fabric conditioner, bet you won't even notice the difference. Scent boosters - WTF? Stop using them altogether. Clean washing smells lovely.

Toothpaste - use a pea-sized blob, not an inch-long line all the way along the brush head.

imforeverblowingbuttons · 12/04/2024 11:08

Oh gas and electric is 175

Spirallingdownwards · 12/04/2024 11:08

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 09:58

Our electric is £170 per month that does not change throughout the year.

Our gas in the winter is £400 per month.

We are lucky that we can afford it but we were going through the household costs last night and it was eye opening, at what we spent.

How are your bills so high? I would suggest getting the meters checked.

TheSpoonyNavyReader · 12/04/2024 11:08

GuttingHouse2024 · 12/04/2024 11:05

Maybe because it’s people like you with your excessive consumption that are destroying the planet but it’s okay to put chemicals into our water systems and use excessive resources because you “have an electric car”. Owning EV isn’t a get out clause for poor environmental impact elsewhere like excessive washing (towels etc). The beds are to highlight that you must have a large enough property to accommodate 5 large beds so perhaps aren’t as aware of the excess you spend on “scent boosters” as some others would be.

ps you can wear clothes such as jumpers more than once without them being “not clean”. Think it’s you who is sheering judgement with that comment.

I feel that clothes that I have worn all day are not clean, my opinion yours are different.

Scent boaster only cost £5 a week so not excessive, if I was spending £100 a month that would be excessive.

OP posts:
imforeverblowingbuttons · 12/04/2024 11:07

We are a family of 5. 4 adults 1 child.

We use per week-

6 toilet roll
Toiletries are tricky as we all have our own
1/2 box wash powder and detergent
1/2 box dishwasher tabs
1 kitchen roll

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