Wedding rings and DD/DSD

Trouble is the OP doesn't want the DSD to have anything. Someone suggested gettig DSD somethinnof her own and she said not unless her and her DD were getting something.

She sounds odious.

You definitely view both girls in totally different lights. Your rings are yours to do as you please but I think your attitude about the DSD not having anything is very unforgiving, doesn't paint you in a very good light.

If your daughter will have the world that you are leaving her, then why deny his daughter something to remember her father by. Saying she has a watch from her father is very different, she isn't likely to wear it.

I lost my mum and feel terribly guilty that my DB has very little to cherish from my DM as an heirloom. You are bordering spiteful IMO.

Do you really think DSD wants a memento of her father's love and commitment to a woman who is NOT her mother?

If HE bought them for you then I do feel it a little unfair to not think of your step-daughter 🤷‍♀️

If they were yours before you met then fair enough.

Depends how close the two of you are - your rings your choice but obviously if you see her like a daughter then you may consider it.. I dunno it’s a tough one.. it was easy for us as me and my sister had different dads and our mam married both of them so we both got a set of rings when she died

I’d be inclined to leave a different piece of jewellery to your DSD rather than the rings, they’re more of a reminder that things didn’t work out with his ex!

If you die first he is so giving a ring to the your step child so get a will written now as you never know what can happen

My husband and my daughter will get my wedding rings and jewellery he’s bought for me my older daughter will get the equivalent jewellery I had before marriage what’s left they can share between themselves it’s hardly a ding dong matter your husband doesn’t over ride your will so have one drawn up and left with someone you trust

It depends on the relationship with DSD.

If you saw her as your own then I’m sure you would do.

But just because you have a step child does not mean you’ll naturally have the strong bond and you’d want to gift her anything.

MIL has left all her jewelry to her DD but we have DD and her DS and I always felt she should have left DDs a little token but hadn’t it her will.

I have a stepmother and much as I love her, I would feel awkward if she left me an engagement/wedding ring and wouldn’t know what to do with it. I certainly wouldn’t wear it out of loyalty to my mum. It’s a very personal thing, and I’d far rather she gave them to my half-sibling. Is your DH actually thinking about how your DSS (and her mum) would feel about it?

Don’t see why OPs husband can’t just go and buy her a ring? OP if your son is inheriting his dad’s ring and your daughter is inheriting your 3 rings.. why would you object to your husband buying his daughter a ring?

I agree with a previous poster that the ring situation is not the actual issue here, he clearly feels that you treat his daughter differently and coming from the posts you have put on here all it seems to be is negatively towards her.. your instant assumption to make is that she would sell the ring.. your daughter could possibly do the same..

either way clearly this from your husbands point of view is what is to be left to the children.. how he feels fair to do so. He clearly feels it’s unfair to leave two of his children something meaningful and not one of his children, which is completely understandable.. could he not speak to her mum and your husband and her mum come up with the arrangement to both put money towards buying her a new ring? Then they keep it tucked away until she may need it etc.

seems more optional for him to buy her a ring and keep it for her to pass it down..

You followed a question with a statement. You guessed he cares about financial value. I countered with a guess that it’s more about how he values the children.

Is your DH aware that the resale of the rings would be so poor? Perhaps he is putting up a stink because he thinks it’s significant inheritance value when it’s not.

But my post was a question to OP as to why he may have reacted the way he has. You can’t refute it with a pure guess (and you can’t refute a question anyway).

Everyone is guessing what’s on his mind as OP doesn’t seem to have asked or is unwilling to share why he felt the way he did.

That’s your guess. Not what her DH actually thinks. He has only demanded she leave DSD a wedding ring.

I can’t speak for MN, but I most definitely love it when people respect the rights of others to make decisions over their own belonging, yes.

Winding his neck in. MN love a man under the thumb.

They are both part of the family. Not considering her stepdaughter to be her daughter does not mean she isn’t a family member, as you well know. That’s like saying you have to consider your mother in law to be your mother or else it’s a rejection. Similarly, I’ve got family members that aren’t in my will, as I’m not in the wills of some family members. Still family though.

It seems the situation is resolved, with the husband winding his neck in regarding what OP does with her assets.

Dad feels the same about both daughters and wants both daughter to be part of the family. Nothing says you’re not my family more than leaving a supposed member of the family out of a will. OP hasn’t suggested that Dad thinks the sisters would get a 50/50 financial split, just that he assumed both his daughters would receive something.

The whole situation could have been easily resolved if OP had reassured DH that she loved his daughter. “I’d like to leave my rings to DD due to sentimental value. I was thinking about leaving my diamond necklace to DSD as a token of my affection”.

If this isn’t the case and OP doesn’t want to leave a token to her DSD who she helped raise from childhood, then DH will feel his daughter is being rejected.

Not every blended family will feel this way but DH obviously thinks the family is more blended than the OP does.

How do you know that?

DSD and I have a nice relationship, her parents were quite clear from the start how they wanted it to be and nobody is getting stressed out as everyone knows who their mums/dads/children are and set their expectations of those people accordingly.

I think you'll find I never once said I didn't care about my DSD. I care about her very much. More than any other child in the world, actually, apart from my own.

No ponies are being damaged in the making of this family. Nor are the ponies rampaging around and causing damage.

I am also with OP
Blood ties only.

How many people actually want a memento of their father's love/marriage/relationship with a woman that is not their mother? What sentimental value is there?

She values her own daughter above anyone else’s, regardless of whether they’re also family members. That is entirely normal.

It’s about the value of the children, not the value of the rings.