Wedding rings and DD/DSD

Usually, the estimate is for replacement value, as for insurance purposes. Resale value is a lot, lot less.

@beanii it's not about terrible relationships. It's about sentimental value. And there's very little in something your parent gave to someone else.

Her Mum could buy another ring that would some day go to her DD. I have wedding rings too and in reality, a different style of ring would actually get worn by my DD and DGD when passed on to them. Not sure if they would wear wedding rings from me, grandma and great-grandma.

They are your rings, to do with as you choose. The three are basically a set, so I can understand your reasoning. I would give all three to DD and maybe buy a ring to be able to leave one to DSD. It doesn't have to cost thousands, just something decent.

What are you basing ‘the mother doesn’t have anything to give’ on?

Op isn’t denying her a gift from her father, she said herself there’s a watch he could leave her as a sentimental item. What Op doesn’t see is the need for the eldest to be compensated because she isn’t going to get OP’s belongings. The DH is splitting his assets to his children equally, so again, why does the eldest need something extra from him? Hardly fair to the youngest, is it?

I have 2 rings ( Mum gave to me ) and I am safeguarding her wedding and engagement rings

The wedding ring is a heavy solid piece over 60 years old .
Doesn't fit me so I might pass this to my DD ( I don't think anyone else will mind ). Engagemt ring needs a repair ,
The others are over 100yo so irreplaceable but two of the ugliest rings I;ve clapped eyes on.

So your DSD might want one of them.
But what would she do with it ?

@Mumofferal3 her mum might not have wedding rings but surely, she will have something else to leave. Either something she inherited herself or bought. She can also get things of sentimental value passed down from her father.

What "misses" out on is an object of sentimental value from OP/the step mum.

What young lady is likely to wear her dads watch? Seems unfair that she gets an heirloom that gets to sit in a box whilst DD gets to parade around in gems worth a lot more and that she can use.

I have been in this predicament and I felt awful for my DB as he had nothing of my mums to wear daily of sentimental value. Not saying that the OPs DD is going to feel sympathy but DSD shouldn't be left out altogether. Getting her something of her own wouldn't hurt OP or her DD really?!

Rings that you sell back to a jeweller are worth the gold weight and nothing else. The insurance value is so you can replace if stolen or broken. My marriage ended in divorce. I sold my wedding ring in 1997 ( 24 carat gold) for £12.00. My engagement was 24 carat gold and had 7 small diamonds. It sold for a few pounds. The retail price your husband paid will be nowhere near what anyone ( DSD) who sold them would get.

I got that, thanks for the comment.

The likelihood is that DSD mum doesn't have anythig to give and her DF wants her to have something. I think it is petty to deny DSD any sort of gift from her father. The wedding rings in effect were a gift to the OP who will gift them to her DD so why can't DF buy something for his little girl without it being a petty competition?!

Blows my mind, such a first world problem. God knows how people like this would respond to a real problem.

So about 25% of that if they were to be sold?

In reality it will depend who dies first unless it is in a will. If you die 1st then he can do what he wants with the rings and the house.

I’m going to leave all mine to my daughter in laws. If I was you I’d share.

Initially, I felt a bit sorry for the OP due to her 'D'H's obnoxious 'he paid for them he should get to decide where they go after' remark.

Now I'm beginning to see that OP and he are well-matched.

No, I don't think you should share the rings.
I don't see a reason.
🙂

My mum left all her jewellery to me, as her sole DD. (I have DBs but no DSis.) She did ask that I give something to my nieces, which I did. Perhaps you could do something like that, OP? But I don’t think there’s anything hurtful or unusual in wanting to leave your wedding and engagement rings to your DD.

I'm afraid if my DH told me who I should leave my rings to, I'd be throwing them at him. What a bloody cheek! Is he going to want to dictate where all the other gifts he's given you over the years go, or just the valuable ones? This would have made me REALLY cross!

No. You're right. I have a step mum and if she passed, I'd expect her rings to go to my sister . I wouldn't want her rings as they have no meaning for me. It would be different if it was my mum's rings.

Not every step family has a troubled relationship 🤷‍♀️ - plenty get along like their own children.

Clearly the dad feels she would.

What he’s asking doesn’t even make sense.your DD should inherit your jewelry, DSD will inherit her mother’s jewelry, and if their DF owns any jewelry or other valuables then that would be divided between the 2 girls.

Because it isn’t something that requires compensating for? Both daughters will inherit items from their parents, one doesn’t need something extra.

Also may I add that you would never get any where near insurance value for a ring of you sold it, my ring was worth over £4k on paper and didn’t even get offered £1k for it when I tried to sell it

Nope it’s a Mother/Daughter thing, her Mum can pass her any rings if she gets them it’s not up to you and it’s not up to your husband to decide what happens to YOUR rings

Yes that was me. It was met with mirth.

Just let them sort it out after you're gone? It's not advised to leave named items in a Will anyway.

This is but your dh is missing

you would pass to your shared DD if they were worth not a lot- it’s sentiment

your DSD would perceive them as gift from her dad of another woman’s ring. Unless you were in mothering role to her too and she was very involved in yours and dh marriage. To her it would be a value gift - to sell, even if she bought her own ring with the cash

your mistake was telling your dh the value. Or even you feeling good about value. Intrinsic value maybe high now due to price of gold or stones, but like all investments can go down. Second hand jewellery is worth little beyond intrinsic value unless it’s exceptional pieces wanted by collectors.

drop the whole value bit. Just ensure your will states ALL jewellery goes to DD for sentimental reasons.no need to specify rings at all.

your dh would likely have remained clueless on this if you’d not bragged on value. Stay quiet next time.

Actually she said DSD could/should have a watch as a sentimental item from her father.

The buying comment, I suspect it was tongue in cheek. Even though, not necessarily unreasonable as it's about buying , rather than passing down items of sentimental value.