Wedding rings and DD/DSD

Jeez. Chill out. I was actually on your side (until you got mardy). If you knew it was irrelevant information, why bother to share it in the first place. Anyway, good luck with your DH. He sounds like a peach.

You are related by blood to all of them...

I don't disagree leaving the DSD something, but not the rings of the marriage

Why?

They're the rings of the marriage.

DH should leave something to both his daughters if he can

Does he have a wedding ring as well as a watch, OP?

No.

If you have another, maybe sentimental thing your DSD would like to remember you by then fair enough

But those rings go to the child/children of the marriage

I have a step mum (I’m 34 and she joined the family when I was 17/18).
I love her just as much as my mum. No, she’s not my mother but she’s family and is the most amazing grandma to my children. For reference I also think of her mum as family, because why would I not?

I find your barrier between your daughter and your step daughter unsettling. Sure, they are different and I’m sure you have different dynamics with both, but they’re both still your family.

If my step mum thought of me as lesser family because she didn’t give birth to me I’d feel so sad (not because I want her jewellery). The fact you just assume she’d want to flog sentimental, but valuable items you give her is also really sad. Why do you think this? Is there precedent?

How old are you SD and D?

I can’t imagine dsd would want a ring that’s not from her parents marriage.
Do you have a necklace, chain, bracelet , earrings you can leave her that have no sentimental value?

( and you’ve helped me decide OP, I’m going to sell any jewellery I have, no sentimental value whatsoever and I can’t imagine DDs or dgds will want any of it)

He’s a piss taker to say he paid so he should have a say. No no he really doesn’t. They were a gift. Idiot.

They are YOUR rings, your DH should wind his neck in about what you want to do with your own jewellery. In what crazy world does he get a vote about your personal effects?

Each child will inherit from their own mother and father. DSD's mother will not leave something to your child (her own daughter's half sister), will she?

Your DH is mistaking 'paying for your rings' for 'still partly owning them'. He doesn't.

As a symbol of his love for a woman who is not her mother, I can't see why the DSD would want them anyway.

An Insurance valuation and what anyone could actually sell them for would be less that 50% buy him a £3.5k watch for him to leave your darling step daughter - all sorted and not an issue.

You say you have a son as well as a daughter. Why does the daughter get everything and nothing for you son. Maybe he'd like one of your rings for his future partner.

My mom has a number of rings and there's the potential that they will all come to me as the only daughter. But one of my brothers has asked if his son could have one - not as it is now but to be remade into something his son would like. I think it's a nice idea, particularly as there are more males in the family than females.

Agree with this. And your replies to people (sorry, 'arsey' is the only word I can think of for their tone) don't exactly make my impression of you any better.

You seem not to have disclosed your dsd's age because you know how much worse it would make your 'she'd just sell it' comment sound than it already does.

But it is ok for one to be treated better by the mother?!

Their own mother? Of course it is.

Should DSD's mum consider OP's DD when she considers what she buys/leaves her daughter?

They are yours you decide who you vice then to.
Generally it's customary to give them to your daughter/daughters but that's irrelevant, it's up to you. Write a codecil to your will detailing your wishes.
Why doesn't he give his ring to his daughter?

Insurance valuation, and the amount you'd actually sell them for are vastly different. In reality they are probably worth not that much in re sale terms but a lot sentimentality

Understand what? That sister’s a charity case?

They have different mothers. So yes, it is indeed okay for each to be considered ‘more important’ to their respective mothers.

It matters a lot. Someone I know recently tried to sell her diamond engagement ring. It was bought for £15k, valued for insurance purposes (replacement value) at £16.5k. She contacted about 20 jewellers (including those in Hatton Garden as well as the north of England) and the highest price anyone would offer was £6.5. You’d be lucky to get 50% of the value when selling engagement/wedding rings. So if you give DSD the cash equivalent of the replacement value, she’ll be much better off than your DD.

But it is ok for one to be treated better by the mother?!

Not many people would wear a casio unless they liked it.

This is getting daft now. My opinion won't change that if the father can afford to get something for her, he should. The other daughter will understand.

YANBU. The rings are yours to leave to whomever you wish. You may later have granddaughters and wish to leave one or more rings to them.

DH can leave his wedding ring to his DD for her to have melted down and refashioned to her taste so that she can wear it.

This..honestly you are over thinking this and it's just not worth arguing over. The rings are not worth much really and this could be years away..Still think it would be nice to include DSD..this is what this is really about.

Not having her own wedding ring to leave doesn’t mean she has nothing to leave. For all we know she’s got her own mother’s wedding ring. That said, what’s wrong with an Casio if the value is sentimental?

Each girl will inherit from their mother - that is fair. It isn’t ‘fair’ that one gets special treatment from their father.

That's naive of you to say. Not everyone in this world has things they can pass on. Her DF is in a position to give her something and that should be able to be done without his schemey wife wanting in for her and the pirncess DD.

The OP comes across as she hates her DSD and doesn' t want her to gain anything from her father. She doesn't seem to like her very much by saying she will probably sell them. The comment might have been tongue in cheek, but the OP comes across as her daughter is far more important.

No she doesn't. You're just making stuff up to suit your narrative. You're seeing what you want to see. That's a you problem.

The fact she has no wedding ring etc to give which is in the thread.

If the youngest gets 3 rings to wear based on that they belong to her DM and the eldest gets a mans watch to wear, how is that fair?! For all we know her dad could wear a plastic casio watch. Now that would hardly be fair.

I don't see the harm in getting something wearable that the eldest can keep in memory of her father. If they can afford to get the items appraised, they can afford a small trinket for the eldest.

The OP comes across as she hates her DSD and doesn' t want her to gain anything from her father. She doesn't seem to like her very much by saying she will probably sell them. The comment might have been tongue in cheek, but the OP comes across as her daughter is far more important.