Wedding rings and DD/DSD

I agree. But, that also means OP’s relationship with stepdaughter is not close enough for her to want to bequest one of her rings. And as they are her rings, she should get to decide whom to leave them to, without pressure and guilting.

What a strange comment.

Daughter might get how own step mum one day. Then she’ll inherit from two women too. Look on the bright side…she’s not destined to be disadvantaged by a stable family.

That’s fine when talking about inheritance of assets but wedding rings are left for sentimental reasons rather than financial so I don’t agree with this

Maybe DH should stop buying OP any more jewellery and treat his DD to some instead

Yes it does! Stepdaughter has a mother who can leave her stuff. Why is stepdaughter entitled to inherit from her mother AND stepmother, while OP’s daughter only inherits from her mum?

Seems like you’ve agreed on something between you.

It seems a shame to me, you say numerous times ‘he gave me the rings’ - which is true, but he gave you them as a symbol of your relationship and combing families is clearly part of this. Hope she doesn’t feel too left out.

I think it depends on how close you are to DSD and how long you’ve been married, how old she was at that time etc. if you’re not close and don’t see her much then fair enough.

If you spend a lot of time with her, I really think it’s a shame you haven’t developed the relationship to the point of wanting to leave her something this symbolic.

i think it depends on your relationship with DSD. Step children as treated as equals by all the family in our family. They are a grandchild/niece etc and are written into wills etc. but if you are not close then you are not being unreasonable

They’re your rings give them to who you want, he may have bought them but they were given as a gift to you, I would expect her mother to pass things to her own daughter.

It’s also about the relationship between mother and daughter, which is naturally more meaningful and important to OP than the one she has with her stepdaughter. Fairness also matters, and there’s no reason for OP to provide an inheritance to her stepdaughter, reducing the one for her daughter, when she has her own mother to inherit from.

Not leaving someone an inheritance doesn’t mean you don’t like someone, or that you think little of them. That’s quite the leap to make.

She has her own mum to pass on sentimental value items. Married or not.

I would do the same OP. Although I would feel like I am technically being unfair.. but I guess it depends on how long DSD has been in your life, did you help raise her when young? Or was she older (late teens+) when you and DH met/married.

As if she were young she may wonder why she’s been treated differently. But if she was older she likely understands your point of view anyway.

I have a step mother and I wouldn’t expect her to pass down her jewellery to me.

It's not about being fair - it's about the relationship between stepmother and stepdaughter.

The ex may meet someone and they'll be other step parents.

Clearly the OP doesn't think much of get SD.

This.

I bought my husband’s watch for him. He told me that he wanted it to go to his son.

After DH died, I sent it to his son.

So then it’s ’fair’ that one daughter inherits from three parents, and the other inherits from two?

Because they've nothing to do with one another - OPs daughter isn't going to have a relationship with her stepdads ex 🤦‍♀️

It wouldn’t, at this point, occur to me to leave jewellery to my step daughter. This of course may change with time.

Ultimately, your husband cannot dictate what you do with your rings and you’ve reached agreement on how jewellery will be bequeathed to the children now.

So the rings your husband bought you can only go to your daughter and not your step daughter but if he buys HIS daughter one then he has to buy YOUR daughter one too?

Is that not double standards??

I would leave one to DSD.

This seems contradictory. If the rings are mere trinkets with little sentimental value, and the OP herself is unimportant (weird leap BTW), why does it matter so much if her stepdaughter doesn’t get one?

I’d actually argue that ages do matter and the relationship dynamics is important. I was a step daughter and lived with step mother from young age full time - I was very much a second class citizen and my not so dear step mother would have had the same opinion as you in regards to this type of thing.

If you married DH with children of a young age, they are a whole package and you should be prepared to treat his child as your own. If roles were reversed and your children had a step parent, you’d want that child to be loved and treated equally in the other family.

Also, none of us plan to die soon. But we don’t get a choice in that. You and your DH need to come up with something that’s fair to all children.

So your SD inherits off her mother and you? No.
Your husband can leave what he wants to her but I’m with you. My son isn’t getting any of my jewellery. I loved the bloody bones of him - he’ll get his dads watches.

If I was close to my SD though and brought her up as my own then I think that’s different as you haven’t specified. I would potentially even give her another item of jewellery if she was close.

Honestly. I don't think either of them would be fighting over them and probably don't even want them. You're literally fighting Iver something that they probably don't even care about.

Bit weird you have 3 rings to give and won't even entertain the idea that DSD might be given one of them.

You are massively over-stating the importance you seem to be placing on these rings, they aren't terribly expensive and have no other sentimental value (eg they didn't belong to your DM for example).
You seem very immature, like marriage is some kind of achievement and these rings are a symbol of that achievement rather just token jewellery. I'm not bashing engagement rings etc, I just don't understand the reverence around them you seem to have, and the idea that they mustn't be sold after your death. Who gives a shit?

You also seem to be massively over-stating your importance in the world, your DSD is in your life as long as your DH is, and not to acknowledge that and fully embrace your children's half-sibling is very churlish.
Is it because she represents the life and love DH had before he went on to meet you and have additional children with you?

OP sorry but speaking truthfully, you don't sound very kind at all

Tell him she would have no sentimental attachment to it.
Also, once he gave you those rings, they are your property. You can't give someone a gift and then tell the receiver it's yours because you paid.