Wedding rings and DD/DSD

Loads of people, myself included! Vintage and antique engagement rings are very popular, as well as being more sustainable and ethical than new stones. I’ve been wearing my antique engagement ring for twenty years and don’t plan to take it off any time soon.

I didn’t actually call OP a utter bitch I said she sounded like one which is totally different

😆😆😆 Oh yeah, those two things are like night and day.

It's exactly the same sentiment and you know it. Nasty.

I didn’t actually call OP a utter bitch I said she sounded like one which is totally different you know as in the way she spoke about DSD and the way she came across in replies.

unfortunately I didn’t get a chance to see OP’s reply to me either so dunno what that was 🤷‍♀️ altho I wonder if the husband watch is valued at 8k cause I can imagine if it was she wouldn’t have been as quick to point out DSD could have that if it was

@MNHQ - are you happy to delete the OP’s posts when she sticks up for herself, but ignore people calling her an “utter bitch”? Why is that allowed to stand?

I can't believe how rude some people are being to you here! I'm glad to see you sorted it, and you're absolutely right; they were a gift to you, they're yours to do what you want with. I can't imagine that realistically a stepdaughter would want to keep her not-Mum's rings for sentimental value. People are weird. You're in the right, 100%.

Im a stepchild and adore my stepmother. She has been in our family since before I was born technically and I don't remember a time without her. I have a mother - SM isnt my mother. She is just an addition to my life. At Christmas DM&DF would put 50% in each for my main Christmas gift and I would open it at whichever house I was at Christmas morning. Each would then buy me their own stocking fillers. So technically DF would spend more on my younger siblings as the full cost of their main gift fell to him & SM. That was always fine, as I had DM for the other half. It all equalled out. Would I expect any of SMs family jewellery or wedding jewellery? No. Would I want it? No. Means nothing to me. I have my DMs wedding ring from her wedding to my DF, and its sitting in a box. I imagine one day I will sell it as it signifies nothing. My relationship with DSM has nothing to do with her marriage to my father or rings that would live in a box. No correlation at all.

i’m seeing more ‘bored of posters
wildly extrapolating, creating their own narratives, and slinging insults at her’ than I am ‘unhappy’ tbh.

Some posters appear to be quite annoyed that she isn’t sufficiently cowed by their disapproval.

You seem unhappy OP.

I have no stepchildren but if I did it would make no difference, all my jewellery will be left to my eldest daughter. Step children have their own mothers to leave them jewellery.

Well yes, he has two daughters and a son, not one daughter that requires compensation because she’s not getting an inheritance from a third parent.

OP and OP’s daughter are in line for exactly the same - inheritance from their respective mothers. Why does the stepdaughter need more from her father than her siblings?

@SemperIdem obviously not everyone agrees with my viewpoint people have different opinions and thats perfectly normal but that is mine, and according to OP’s other replies if its said in jest with a laughing face it’s obviously a joke so totally fine.

@Bluegaze people don’t all agree with your viewpoint, this is quite evident from the comments. Calling the op an “utter bitch” is ridiculously juvenile.

They're your rings to do as you please with them. Yes he paid for them but gave them to you so it's your choice who you'd like to leave them to. Why would he think you'd leave his Daughter one when they'd have no sentiment to her whatsoever? He can leave his ring to her if he has one.

Definitely.
There are places that sell second hand engagement rings...but who on earth would buy one?
I have bought second hand silver vintage jewellery before, but rings are just so personal, and really do seem to take on the vibes of the person who wore it.

If you initiate the split. An engagement ring was traditionally a contract.

Personally I would be with you OP, I would expect my partner to leave things of sentiment to his children from his previous relationship, although if in time it felt like something to consider, I would absolutely be open to it, but would probably be more comfortable for both to leave her other jewellery without the marriage connotation. From the other perspective - I do not particularly want my stepmother’s wedding jewellery or rings from my dad? And perhaps selfishly I would sell it, so she may as well leave it to someone closer to her. I also don’t particularly want my mothers engagement ring from either of her relationships. Although apparently it will be mine 🤣

to be brutally honest- you won’t be here to enforce. I think it’s not about the rings but about one child getting “nothing” and he feels like she’s not being treated equally. I hope it’s that and not I paid for them so they are mine- that would be a red flag. Don’t get hung up on rings but if he feels his daughter isn’t being treated equally you both need to address that immediately

Once you have passed on rings and things, it's up to the recipient what they do with it. I will sell the jewellery my mother plans to leave me, unless it means something to my own daughters. I'm not big on jewellery.

I wouldn't want a random woman having my very personal things. They are for my daughters who I trust to keep and enjoy them. My son can have other things. I've no intention of passing them on to a potential DIL who might split up with my son (I hope that never happens to him, but...!)

I would like them to be kept within my family.

I never understand why the girls have to inherit all of the jewellery.
I have a dd and a ds and I’ve told dd she’s no more entitled than her db to my jewellery and must share fairly with him.

Whilst clearing the family home after his df’s death dh was constantly informed by his siblings that they wanted this or that item.
One day he suggested I take a particular item we knew dd would like. I remarked that perhaps he should chk with his dsis.
Dh just looked up and said ‘they were my parents too.’