Wedding rings and DD/DSD

I would pass down the eternity ring to her myself, assuming you have a good relationship.

They are your property and yours to leave as you wish not his.

I would make sure you rewrite your will to ensure they pass as you wish as a legacy as it would appear you won't be able to expect him to carry out your wishes on an informal basis were you to predecease him.

Let's not forget the sd does have a mother of her own...

Absolutely laughable on his part. And to suggest he somehow owns them or gets to decide what you do with them because he gave them to you is pretty grim.

I think that's really harsh. The DSD has a mother, OP would doubtless be flamed if she was trying to portray herself as her mother.

The rings are OP's personal possessions, I think most women would plan for their wedding rings to go to their eldest daughter.

OP isn't begrudging the DSD any inheritance or any of her dad's belongings.

I’m amazed that there is such hostility to a suggestion that DSD receives anything from a woman who literally became part of her and her Dad’s family.

The problem underlining this is that Dad thinks of DD as family and DSM doesn’t even like the poor girl, who I think is still a child by the sounds of it. What a way to talk about a child!

If your rings were a product of your marriage to DD's father, then I'd side with you and say that DD should inherit them.

However, you say they were given to you to mark your marriage to DSD's father, so I honestly think she should have at least one of them as she's part of your family unit.

YANBU, OP. They are your rings to give away as you choose. Of course your DD should inherit them. If you have a good relationship with your DSD and you have other jewellery that you think she would value from a sentimental point of view, I would leave her that in your will.

Does your DH realise that they won't be worth much in financial terms as an inheritance and it's more about the sentimental value?

Very reasonable to leave them to your DD, I don't know why your DSD would want them tbh. Leave her a different heirloom with sentimental value more related to her. The watch is a good idea.

I inherited my dms rings, I wear her wedding ring but didn't want the rest. Didn't see the point of them laying in a drawer not being worn and the money paid for a lovely 2 night break at a National Trust location that dm loved to visit.
I'm sure she would have loved to know we did that expeience.
Thanks mum😘

What's your relationship like? I think it's different if you raised her from a young age and she sees you a mother vs. a teenager who you see every other weekend.

My DD will inherit my engagement and wedding rings, as they are a symbol of my marriage to her late father. My son will inherit his father's watch and cuff links. My niece, who I have raised alone since she was ten but who came into our household after my husband passed away, will inherit my pearls. They are beautiful pieces, but not linked emotionally to my marriage.

If you are close with DSD, do you have any non-matrimonial pieces you can leave to her?

Make sure you state this in your will, rather than be an intention, else it’ll mean nothing.

leaving the watch to dsd is a good idea.

Your DH is ridiculous. Ofcourse you don't have to share with step daughter. She has her own mother/relatives to inherit from

Surely its actual worth is the best monetary offer, not what you think it should be worth?
The actual worth drops the minute you exit the jewelry store.

My step mum has occasionally commented that she would leave the engagement ring my dad gave her to me (she has sons from her first marriage and they had no children together). I was touched and grateful and if it does happen I wouldn't sell it. I might possibly have it altered or converted to a pendant rather than a ring, but whatever I chose I would want to treasure it as a memory of my dad and the woman who made him so happy.

I think it could be a kindness to leave one of the rings to your step daughter if you thought there was any chance of her valuing it as a sign of familial bonds between the three of you and the love of her dad. If you really think your SD would just immediately sell anything she was bequeathed then I think it's totally understandable that you would rather all the rings go to your shared daughter

I’m sure your DD will either sell them or throw them in a box too. DM has rings, so did my aunts - God those bloody ‘rings’. I was told which ones I’m getting. I’m thrilled. (That’s sarcasm).
DM has lots of jewellery, expensive stuff and she’s told me to sell it, it’s not my cup of tea.

You dislike your DSD. Saying that, if you aren’t close will she even want it? I wouldn’t.

This. From OP’s posts I get a big sense of dislike and distrust when it comes to her DSD. When you marry someone you also marry everything that comes along with them, children included. They should be treated as you would with your own kids

Does he see his marriage to you as also including his daughter joining your family/becoming your family together. Therefore the rings symbolise this too. Do you have other pieces you could leave to her ?

Yes he can leave his other DD what he wants to buy your rings go to your DD. I'm amazed he expects you to give your personal jewellery to your SD.

Not need to be so snarky.

I'm merely saying that, in this situation, it's likely that the rings will have more significance to the daughter from the marriage. The DSD can have something else!

Calm down ffs!!

Prove me wrong and say something nice about her.

DD gets your rings. As his other DD doesn’t have a ring to inherit from her Mum (which also would have come out of his money just like yours) he can buy her a ring instead. Then it will have sentimental value too.

He bought your DD’s three rings that you will pass on.

Why can’t they possibly be sentimental? Can I also not be sentimental about my aunts jewellery, or is that different? (Noting an aunt married to my mums brother is not any blood relation). Can I not be sentimental about the elderly neighbour of my parents? She was a wonderful woman. What are the rules on sentimental? When some of my friends die if they bequeath me anything am I allowed to be sentimental about that? Or not? I am sure it’s not just you may only be sentimental about your biological mum, could you help explain the rules please?

I don't get why you would object to your husband buying her a ring one day. I bought my daughter a diamond ring for her 18th. It's not particularly weird!

I don't see how the rings would have any sentimental value to your DSD. They're your rings to do as you wish with.

Though my sister gave her engagement ring from her first husband to her second MIL, so anything goes!