Wedding rings and DD/DSD

The DSD has a mum. She’ll get her due inheritance from her own mum.

I have done the same. Some of the jewellery goes back to my great grandmother and has passed down the female line. Luckily I already have grandaughters as I wouldnt know what to do do if the female line stopped

I am a step daughter and a half sister. My father had a child after me and I also have a step dad. There is no way I would want or expect my step mothers wedding rings etc - they are hers and were a gift from my father - she owns them, she can give them to her own daughter/other relation/ charity

The usual MN advice for inheritance in blended families is that the DD would get all of OP's half of the estate and the DH's would be split between the two girls. So surely the rings would come under OP's half.

Why does the OP keep saying "sale" instead of "sell"?

Your mistake here is assuming DSD won't see any sentimental value in the rings so assume she'll sell them.

Maybe talk to dsd? After all - you married her dad and your dd is her sibling.

Why would she want it other than for monetary purposes??

Can you imagine him saying "Hey, DD, here's the engagement ring I bought for a woman that isn't your mother"!

If he's that fussed he should adjust his will so that his other DD gets £X amount more than your shared DD to even it out, but I agree that they should all go to your shared DD.

For insurance that will be the value to replace like with like at current retail prices.

Not what they would be worth if sold second hand

I’ve put in my will that my girls will have my jewellery. May seem wrong to some, but I want them to go to my direct children, as some of my older bracelets etc have been passed down from grandparents

I appreciate your DH looking out for his other daughter, I think the idea of her getting her dads watch is much nicer.

As a step daughter I don't want or expect any of my step mums rings. No disrespect to her at all, she's been in my life since I was 9 and we have a great relationship. I'd fully expect them to go to my half brother's (her son) future partner or daughter.
She did get a earing/necklace set of my granny's (dads mother) that I would like but more for sentimental than monetary value but I would never expect it.

In our family we get buried with our wedding and engagement rings. One of the bonuses being that nobody bloody argues over them!

I agree.

I'm my husband's second wife. (The first is currently with her fourth partner.)

My husband asked his son if he wanted his ring.* The son said he didn't wear rings, so DH later told me to give the son his watch. I've passed it on but - for all I know, it's been sold.

OP, pass on the things that are important to you to the person you want to give them to.

*DH did have a wedding ring, but stopped wearing it after he had a stroke. This was a signet ring that we bought between us and he wore it on his right hand.

Be careful. They’re all his children, so he should be giving something to all of them. If he gives just his eldest a watch just to make up for you not giving dsd something, then he’s treating his other children unfairly.

Dsd isn’t your child, so it’s different and that’s why you won’t be leaving her a ring. There is no reason for your Dh to go making up for that by making a point of just giving his eldest something.

I don't think a DiL and a SC are comparable at all. A daughter in law is in your life and family based on their relationship with your child, something you have no choice or control over. A stepchild is someone you've chosen to become family with when you choose to marry their parent, they're part of the deal. SD mum hasn't married OP so not sure why she would be expected to consider OPs DD as part of her family?

You have quite a negative view on your step daughter without much of a story behind it.

they are your rings you can do what you want with them but chances are that your daughter won’t be as sentimental about them as you think.

they will go in a box somewhere gathering dust or be sold.

if you want them to be sentimental you would be better seeing if your daughter wants to use them when she gets married.

Those rings are a present, and the giver does not have any say in what the recipient does once they have been gifted. If he's that bothered then why doesn't he buy his daughter a nice ring?

He’s nuts. I have one son who will inherit whatever’s left when I’m dead, because I’m his mother.

Why wouldn't she sell it? It would have no sentimental value for her, and she would be in no way wrong to sell it.

OP, I would state firmly you are going to be buried wearing all three rings.

It's no different to a Mum leaving her rings to a DD and not to a DiL. The step daughter has her own mother and father to inherit from. OP wants to leave her things to her own DC. Nothing wrong with that at all. Do you think step daughter's mother will be leaving anything to OP's DD? Very unlikely so it cuts both ways.

Would either of them actually want them. My dad was clear he wanted my mum cremated with her wedding ring. My sister and I then just looked at all the other jewellery and each chose the odd thing, neither of us chose rings.

No. They are yours. My STBEH wants half my jewellery. But no. They were bought as gifts and they are mine.

Your H is a dickhead. Sorry. He can always buy his daughter a ring if he feels she's missing out.

Giving someone a gift is about showing you care. Bequests are not restricted to the mother daughter line unless you choose that.

what I find harsh is the nasty dismissive tone that she would “flog it for a few quid”. This is not how you talk about a family member you like and respect.

Your rings so your daughter.

His rings, his daughter.