Wedding rings and DD/DSD

Why on earth would dsd want YOUR wedding rings. Bizarre

But the rings don’t belong to the OH. They belong to the OP. They aren’t jointly owned.

Yes, that's how I'd see it too. Even though I have a DD and 2 DS's I wouldn't leave female jewellery to my DS's. I'd leave them something else of similar value

not to sound morbid but could you be buried in one, give the nicer one to your daughter and the other one to DSD?

The rings were gifts to you, and you want to give them to your daughter/the child born out of this union, which makes sense to me. They are from the marriage of DD’s mother and father. DSD is entitled to any jewellery passed down from her mother. Would DH expect DSD to share half of her mother’s jewellery with DD? If he’s concerned about cash disparities, he should give DSD some other form of compensation, bearing in mind that the rings won’t be worth £8k—if you try to sell them on the secondhand jewellery market, you won’t get anywhere near that. For insurance purposes, insurance companies value our jewellery at what it would cost to replace a lost/stolen item with a BRAND NEW piece, from a jeweller, not replacing it with a piece from the secondhand market.

Nd DSD might also inherit from her own mother too.

Both children have 2 parents to leave them personal processions.

Devils advocate - How do you know it’s not important? I married my DSDs Dad when she was 5. Been with him since she was 2. Our marriage makes up half of her family and is very important to her. Ditto her mum and stepdads marriage when she was 6. The second marriages of her parents is all she will remember, literally the fabric of her childhood.

You've given your feelings away by saying: 'DSD would probably flog is straight away to get a few quid. ' doesn't sound like your relationship is that great...

Wouldn't your own daughters think about selling them too?

Why would his daughter want YOUR rings? You're not her mum, your marriage to her father isn't an important part of her life really, you pass them down to your daughter because they were her mothers and signify her parents love and marriage.

Same here, but I am the child.
My DSS is treated equally to my DS, it's not their fault the parents didn't stay together/get married etc.
MY children (bio/non bio) get equal shares after our deaths.
I would hate any child whose life I'd been significant in to think I didn't love them, certainly don't want to cause harm.

Yanbu op. Whether you like her or not is immaterial of the point (though you've written nothing that would suggest you don't like her imo!)
The point is you are not her mother and of course it's neither a given nor should it be expected that you leave her anything in your will. It is generally expected that you leave your daughter your inheritance.
Dsd will inherit from her mother. Dd will inherit from you. They presumably will each inherit equally from their father. That's fair and reasonable.

Because replacement value will always be higher then the actual value due to retail costs/profits/marketing verses gold or diamond value

But as for where the rings should go. I'd imagine the children of your relationship aswell ??

Why is it a shame and a waste? The rings were loved by the person who wore them in life. They had meaning to that person. My gran for example met my grandad at 13 and they were never apart -when they married at 18 she never took her rings off again. Why should she be parted from them just so they can be sold or given to someone else? She had plenty of other possessions left to family members but she wanted to keep her rings and she did so. I'll be keeping mine too.

I’d leave them one each but my DSD is treated equally to a biological child and always will be. My DH and his sister were raised by a stepmum who then had a bio child and didn’t treat them equally at all - both are still in therapy in their forties. I’ve seen the pain creating diversity in a family can cause first hand. Luckily we’re all on the same page, 50/50 custody, and her Mum’s DH, her stepdad, also treats her like his own.

I know it’s not very mumsnetty though and over here we’re supposed to treat our stepkids like the child of a neighbour who has wandered in accidentally 😆.

They are your rings to do as you want with. However, if you were in a situation where you had a good relationship with DSD and had been in her life for many years, I would want to pass on something. Could your DH buy you another item of jewellery for a significant event or anniversary with the intention of that being passed on to your DSD?

I think passing on jewellery is lovely but it gets tricky when there are more children involved. I’m still trying to figure out how to split mine between my children.

I would point out to him that the way he is going, it is abundantly clear that you will outlive him, so he shouldn’t worry his pretty little head about it. Then offer to make him a cup of tea in a very sinister voice.

When my step mum died her rings were divided between her biological children and me. I treasure it
Yabu

Errrr no, because she’s already getting three rings from you.
Are you always this jealous and bitchy about your DSD? Sounds healthy…

How do you know that your own DD won’t sell them? I’ll answer your question for you - you don’t. You just don’t want them going to DSD as you obviously aren’t a fan of her and want to make it clear

I would find it odd if my step mum gave me a ring. Very odd.

But my parents were married, so we have been given their wedding bands and sisters given engagement and eternity rings. Neither wanted to keep them after they divorced!

Very confused, is the other girl his step daughter or his daughter? Your rings are not his to dictate where they should go though.

That's such a shame and a waste!