Wedding rings and DD/DSD

Again, no one is saying the OP can guarantee her daughter won’t sell them. She just thinks it’s more likely her stepdaughter will sell them. If you’re suggesting they won’t necessarily be of sentimental value to OP’s daughter, surely it’s even less likely they will be to her stepdaughter?

The insurance value bears absolutely no relation to the resale value.

a ring insured for £2k is most likely only worth £500 if sold.

they are your rings you can do what you want with them but chances are that your daughter won’t be as sentimental about them as you think.

they will go in a box somewhere gathering dust or be sold.

Then surely it doesn’t matter if the OP’s stepdaughter doesn’t get one?

They were given to you. They are your rings and you can leave them to whomever you want. Just make sure it is in your will.

You leave them to your daughter , end of.

MN hates stepmothers so you’ll have to ignore most of the people on here!

Why is it bitchy if the OP thinks this is what her SD might do? SD might just not be a sentimental person; or maybe she’s more likely to treasure something from her own mother than a symbol of her father’s marriage to another woman.

I don’t think your DH has any right to tell you what to do with your property.

BUT I think it would be a lovely gesture for you to give one ring to your DSD, especially since your DD will get 2 anyway. I’m sure it would make her feel loved by you and included.

I've got it in my will that my DSD is to have my jewellery, after my family have picked out significant pieces they may want back (I have wedding and engagement rings of grandmothers and great grandmothers in my collection for example) and my engagement and wedding rings will go to my boys.
Whether they decide to reset the diamonds for their own future wife or pass on to their granddaughters in time is up to them, point is that these are the symbols of the marriage of their parents, not DSD.
I'd not be impressed if DH started willy waving about how they actually belong to him either. I don't consider gifts given to anyone else on the planet as still belonging to me so not sure why I'd be the exception here.
Nor are they "assets of the family", it's not the Koh I Noor we are talking about FFS. 🙄

No, they’re her rings.

Not leaving her stepdaughter the rings doesn’t mean she isn’t part of the family, and I’m not sure why that always gets trotted out. She isn’t however OP’s daughter, and as such isn’t going to inherit from OP.

But both children are her husband's children.

The rings are assets of the family. He paid for them with their money, she wears them.

If you get married then any children of the other partner become part of that family. You can't just go excluding one.

That’s hardly analogous as both would be OP’s children. The scenario with the roles reversed would be “would you expect your DH to leave his jewellery to his stepchild?”.

OP’s stepdaughter is potentially going to inherit from her two parents, same as OP’s daughter.

@TheCheekyKob

Think of it another way... If you had your DD first with someone else, then married this man and had a daughter together, would you be happy if the wedding and engagement ring went to the one daughter that you had together, and not your older DD from a previous relationship?

If yes, then fair enough and stick to your argument that your own DD should have both.

If you feel it would be unfair to give one to your older DD, then perhaps you should see your DH's point of view...

Why does anyone have to be “first?” Would you feel that way about two bio children? A bio child and an adopted child? Children should be treated equally as far as possible within their own family.

What happened to us: My mum had 3 rings, one from my paternal grandmother and two of her own. She had them valued and they had similar values. I was given one, my sister was given one and the third was given to my SIL. She wasn't interested in the ring, not her side of the family -but she and my brother are skint so they got the value of the ring (we doubled it to help). In all cases, to sell got £2-300 (so not life changing money) but to insure, value £2-3000.

OP please include your DSD. Families shatter over these things. Just read the edit, yes, a watch would be great. It doesn't matter what it is but please be fair. And please put it all in your will.

You don't like your DSD much, do you?

In my Will, my personal jewellery has all been left to DD - wedding ring etc.

I’ve left other bits to my DIL.

Why on earth would your DSD want one of them? She should have her dad's wedding ring if she wants it. Your rings should go to your daughter.

The rings are a red herring. Your DH is upset that you view his daughter differently to your own. Unfortunately this is a perfect example of why blended families can be really difficult - step parents inevitably rarely feel the same way about step children as they do about their own, but their spouses can find that very upsetting.

I don’t think either of you are in the wrong to feel as you do.

They're not his rings to give. If he feels so strongly he can give his daughter his watch, as you say.

Yeah it would be really weird to give them to dsd

You can be a fan of your stepchildren AND want to put your own children first at times. In fact I would say it would be abnormal for a mum to never put her own child first when she has step children. In this case, OP wants to leave HER rings to her daughters. I don’t see how that means she doesn’t like her stepdaughter?

All the foot stomping on here and cries of “You’re not a fan” is really unhelpful and if said in real life by her DH/the ex/the in laws it would actually be a really manipulative and immature thing to say.

I know. I think you've misread my post.

As a stepchild myself…my mum’s ring from my dad’s marriage was stolen when our house was burgled, so it is no longer around.

I wouldn’t dream of laying claim to my mum’s ring with my stepdad. We haven’t had the conversation, but my expectation is that it will 100% go to my younger half-sister. In fact, if it was offered to me, I would say to my half-sister that I don’t want it, as it is from the marriage of her parents. (Nor would I expect cash/something else to equal the value of the ring to ‘even us out’.)

You should give them to your DD. They are rings belonging to HER mother signifying HER mother and fathers marriage. Why would they go to DSD?

OP I totally 100% agree with you. It's your jewellery as they were given to you as a gift. It doesn't matter who bought it.

I wouldn't be interested in any of my stepmothers jewellery.

Your step daughter can inherit any jewellery from her own mum.

My mum has already told me I am having all of her jewellery. I imagine my brother will inherit my dad's watch collection.