Wedding rings and DD/DSD

I completely disagree and believe that it is 100% possible to love a child that isn’t yours like your own. But it takes all sorts.

Lots of step children absolutely do love their step parents like they would a bio parent.
The reason the “expectation” isn’t there for the kids, is because the children had no choice about the situation. Children (especially younger ones) are relatively naive, vulnerable, insecure and prone to giving their love more freely than adults; they are still developing their sense of self, how to navigate relationships and finding their place in the world. This is why the onus is on the step parent to offer that love and care and model to them that they are an equally valued and valuable member of the family in which they had no choice but to find themselves.

As evidenced by the "my partner treated my DC like his own and now doesn't want to see them after we split up" threads on here time and time again

um tbf plenty of men don’t bother to see their own children after splitting up with mum- there are any number of threads lamenting those situations too. Do we conclude therefore that it’s a ridiculous expectation that all men love their children, and that those who claim to, probably don’t?

As evidenced by the "my partner treated my DC like his own and now doesn't want to see them after we split up" threads on here time and time again

um tbf plenty of men don’t bother to see their own children after splitting up with mum- there are any number of threads lamenting those situations too. Do we conclude therefore that it’s a ridiculous expectation that all men love their children, and that those who claim to, probably don’t?

It's a ridiculous expectation and I strongly suspect a lot of people who claim to do so actually don't. As evidenced by the "my partner treated my DC like his own and now doesn't want to see them after we split up" threads on here time and time again.

I'm sure some do but I imagine they are in the huge minority and I suspect in most of those cases the other parent is absent most, if not all, of the time and they met the child very, very young.

It's not cruel, mean, exclusionary or whatever else to not love someone else's child like your own children. It's completely natural.

Regardless if the unmarried people are trying to prove a point that they own rings too. This thread is about wedding rings and it’s pretty obvious why they may be important.

She would probably take the ring to sale. All 3 equal just under 8k according to the insurance documents so she could get a few pounds for one instead of keeping it for sentimental reasons.

It's a ridiculous expectation and I strongly suspect a lot of people who claim to do so actually don't. As evidenced by the "my partner treated my DC like his own and now doesn't want to see them after we split up" threads on here time and time again.

I'm sure some do but I imagine they are in the huge minority and I suspect in most of those cases the other parent is absent most, if not all, of the time and they met the child very, very young.

It's not cruel, mean, exclusionary or whatever else to not love someone else's child like your own children. It's completely natural.

She could inherit a gift from OP - someone who came into her family as a child and is supposed to care for her. The only reason OP wouldn’t leave any gift in her will is if she didn’t want to. There’s no law against a SP leaving something to a SC.

Isn’t that exactly what the OP said I the first place?

Did that make sense in your head?

No, they’re her rings.

Not leaving her stepdaughter the rings doesn’t mean she isn’t part of the family, and I’m not sure why that always gets trotted out. She isn’t however OP’s daughter, and as such isn’t going to inherit from OP.

That’s hardly analogous as both would be OP’s children. The scenario with the roles reversed would be “would you expect your DH to leave his jewellery to his stepchild?”.

OP’s stepdaughter is potentially going to inherit from her two parents, same as OP’s daughter.

Plenty of people do. Those that can’t shouldn’t marry people with existing children, in my opinion. It always shows one way or another.

Lots of step children absolutely do love their step parents like they would a bio parent.
The reason the “expectation” isn’t there for the kids, is because the children had no choice about the situation. Children (especially younger ones) are relatively naive, vulnerable, insecure and prone to giving their love more freely than adults; they are still developing their sense of self, how to navigate relationships and finding their place in the world. This is why the onus is on the step parent to offer that love and care and model to them that they are an equally valued and valuable member of the family in which they had no choice but to find themselves.

I always find it fascinating that this view is so widely held on here and yet I've never come across a poster stating that a step child should love and treat a step parent exactly the same as their own mother or father.
So we are left with this weird, lopsided expectation instead of everyone just being honest about the actual relationships at play.

You do know women are allowed to own and wear rings even if not married? She may have her own mums or other female relatives jewellery to pass down as well.

i don’t see why dsd would want her step mum’s wedding/engagement rings anyway. It had never occurred to me that dsd would want or care about any of my jewellery.

Presumably she’s interested in what other people think, rather than she’s looking to be instructed.

Being interested in other opinions doesn’t mean you’re not confident in your own, or that you’re required to change it. It also doesn’t mean that you can’t disagree with any opinions offered, and say so.

Yes. I’m well aware of that but I’m specifically talking about wedding rings in this conversation. Maybe you missed that.

I think if all of your kids are getting a ring, then it's mean to exclude your SD. Why is your DH leaving his ring to his son? You could leave one of your rings to your son, and your DH leave his to his daughter. Unless you're expecting your son to wear DH's wedding ring? Because that wouldn't happen in my family, it would be weird.